How to BE More Masculine and Create the Relationship You Want

Has this kind of mind boggling conversation ever happened to you?

“Hey, I’ve got a question.”

“What is it?”

“The other day I was driving down that road behind the lake and HUGE mountain lion ran right in front of me! He was beautiful, but scary, because he stopped on the side of the road and looked me right in the eye. Gave me chills. I read that a mountain lion’s top speed is like 40-50 mph. And a horse is like 25-30 mph. It’s amazing we don’t hear more about horse attacks. Anyway, when I was driving I hit a patch of horrible washboards. I don’t know why they can’t maintain that road better. It’s like they fix it one day and the next day it’s horrible again. It makes you wonder why people pay taxes. Anyway, what was I saying?”

Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity >>

“You said you had a question.”

“Oh yeah. The front end on my car is making loud a rattling noise. Could you take a look at it?”

“Sure.”

Why Do People Do This?

I had a speaking coach tell me back in 1993 that I was a “3-dimensional thinker” when I spoke in front of a group. He meant I didn’t have a clear picture of what I wanted to say, therefore, every thought led me to another thought that became disconnected from the point I was trying to get across.

And I’ve been working on this ever since.

Every time I write an email or make a video I have to remind myself, “Get to the fucking point, Steve!”

It requires me to focus on ONE THING that matters most when communicating. In fact it’s the one thing that matters most when I’m thinking, planning, feeling or doing anything.

What is it?

Clarity.

Watch this video to hear why I believe CLARITY must come first.

YouTube video

I made a video two years ago about what “my” definition of masculinity is (you can see it here). The three words I use in that video that are the hallmark of masculinity are, being calm, being deliberate and being pleased.

So when I’m talking about being calm, deliberate and pleased, the question I often get back is:

“Calm, deliberate and pleased, great, I’m living a shit show right now, I’m having a horrible time! My boss, my wife, my kids, my sex life…everything is screwed up. How do I get calm and deliberate and pleased when I’m facing that stuff?!!”

This article is about the foundation of masculinity. The foundation of being calm, deliberate and pleased.

What must come first?

What precedes becoming a calm, deliberate and pleased man who’s confident in his own skin?

CLARITY.

A lot of people say things like “get clear”, “know what you want”, “Know where you’re headed”, “get clarity”, but how do you get clarity and what does it actually mean? Clarity of what?!

I’m talking about clarity in what you think.

Clarity in what you believe.

Clarity in what you value.

Clarity in what you want.

Clarity in what you WILL have.

Clarity in where you are going over the next 30 years.

Clarity about all that stuff.

What is the clarity YOU have about the story of where you’ve come from, where you are and where you plan to go? And what’s the clarity you have about the values driving that?

Clarity gives you perspective and perspective is everything.

When you have clarity about your values, what you believe, what you think, where you’re going, what you expect to experience in the next 30 years, it provides a new perspective.

You feel calm.

You feel like an observer in your life, like you’re sitting in an audience watching a play of your life in front of you.

A coaching client told me recently:

“I’ve got to the point that even though things are not perfect in my life, my marriage or my sex life, I’ve become an observer of everything that’s going on and I feel like I’m watching a play. I’m sitting back and I’m kind of amused and curious. I’m less manic and less anxious and I’m able to respond to what I see in the way that serves me, who I am and what I believe.”

As an observer, that perspective gives you a feeling of being calm. You can be deliberate in what you think and if you’re deliberate in what you think, then all of a sudden, your feelings are driven by what you think.

And when you’re confident and the master of your emotional world (your feelings), then you’ll know what to do next, you’ll know what to say next and you’ll know who you want to be.

That’s why clarity is so important. Clarity is the foundation of BEING a calm, deliberate and pleased man.

This is what we do here at Goodguys2Greatmen. Our mission is to help men become clear. Without clarity, you’re doomed. It’s impossible for a man to be calm, deliberate and pleased if he is unclear.

He can’t decide what to do with his career or business. He doesn’t know how to respond to his meddling parents. He can’t discipline his kids. And he is lost in what to think, say or do in his failing relationship.

How do you get CLARITY?

It must be consciously pursued. It’s a learned skill. It must be a relentless commitment to becoming clear on who you are, what you value, what you believe, what you really want and WHERE you plan to end up in the next 30 years.

This is a new mindset where you feel naturally calm and clear-headed… with a solid awareness that you are okay…you’re okay now…and you’ll be okay tomorrow.

How do you figure out all that stuff?

You commit to spending time learning and growing with other initiated men. Men who are a few steps ahead of you and want you to walk with them in the journey of a lifetime.

We love to help men understand when they’ve been searching for clarity in the wrong places. And when a man gets clear, it affects everything he’s dealing with, love and attention from his kids, affection from his wife, respect in his work.

We would love to help you become more calm, deliberate and pleased in the areas of your life where you’re struggling.

Either through 1-on-1 coaching with my colleague Dan Dore or me, or in our group coaching program.

Come and join us and some other amazing men who are travelling the same path as you right now, join our Men’s Live Coaching Roundtable where we will help you re-find the confident, attractive man you know yourself to be.

Find out more about our Roundtable live coaching program here. There’s an amazing tribe of guys in this group with us, supporting and helping each other through this process of growth and self realization.

What if this next year everything changed for you?

That’s what I want for you brother,

We love teaching men these tools – how to be better, how to know who you are, what you stand for, what you want and how to CREATE it in your life through our Masculine Confidence coaching programs.

Dan and I are here to guide you on this mission.

If you want to become a man who knows and trusts himself to create the life and love he wants, apply for a free consultation call with me or Dan. I guarantee you’ll feel a whole lot better by the end of our talk.

My new book Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband will help you to lead yourself and your relationship back to good health. Understand why your partner acts the way she does toward you and learn how to lead your life in the direction you want it to go. You CAN have the relationship you want, fulfilling all your desires while maintaining love and respect.

I wrote a free e-book to help men learn how to lose their fear and be more bold in their marriage to create the love and connection they want. Get The Hard to Swallow Truth About Saving Your Marriage HERE

Sign up to receive my email newsletters here for lots more free tips and advice.

You can watch all my videos here and read my blog articles here.

See what life changing results you’re missing out on here.

Frequently Asked Questions


Is our coaching right for you?

Our coaching process was created for men who want to feel happier and more fulfilled in their life and relationships. We teach you how to have more confidence and clarity about what you want in your life and create an action plan to start making it happen.

Do you only work with men in marriage?

While our coaching teaches you how to create a more connected, more fun and passionate marriage, we also work with you to have more clarity, enthusiasm and fulfillment in all areas of your life. We help you understand what you really want your future to look like and we also teach you how to be in control of your emotions so that you can be confident and assertive no matter how difficult your circumstances are right now .

What happens in the free 90-minute coaching call?

In our free initial coaching calls, we listen a lot, we ask you questions to understand what life is really like for you at the moment, we help you identify what you want to be different and what's holding you back from creating those changes now. Then we help you create a practical plan of action to start moving forward straight away.

What will I learn in your coaching programs?

We take you through a process to:

  • Stop being tentative and become more focused and directed.
  • Develop control over your thoughts and emotions like never before.
  • Become a master of the masculine and feminine dance required for a more passionate connection in your romantic relationships.
  • Build and sustain your personal masculine confidence so that you don't get "triggered" or feel disrespected and can respond with strength and confidence to any situation.
  • Become more connected, aware and present with everyone (this is a critical step in your ability to build attraction and desire as well as have people trust you and respect you more).
  • Stop the destructive emotions of anger and resentment which keep you going around in frustrating cycles and start from moving forward with purpose.
  • Stop being anxious, needy and overly reliant upon other people's opinions and approval of you and start feeling more peace, happiness and a deep sense of being a man who is confident in himself again.
  • You will become a confident man who knows his values, what he wants and where he’s going in his life.
  • You will learn how to think, speak and act according to your values without worrying about reactions from others.
  • You become clear and confident in your ability to create intimacy whenever you want.
  • Your confidence will be something that you start to rely on and trust in every part of your life.

How does the Men's Roundtable work?

Our Men's Roundtable membership gives you access to 3 live group coaching calls per month hosted by Steve and Dan as well as access to over 5 years of previously recorded group coaching calls, an invitation to our private facebook group, and ongoing assignments and resources to help you grow and develop as a confident masculine man. It's like having a personal coach in your pocket, ready to help whenever you need it.

What's the difference between the 1-to-1 coaching and group coaching?

Firstly, anyone who is in our 1-to-1 coaching program automatically receives access to the Men's Roundtable membership and group coaching for free for life. The difference between 1-to-1 and group coaching is down to the speed of change that you want to happen. With more personal time and attention from your coach, the 1-to-1 program is adapted to your specific circumstances and will provide the practical advice you need to know what to think, say and do to create what you want your future to be.

What kind of man is right for your coaching?

We work with men who are willing to take the lead in creating the changes they want in their life and relationships. We only work with men who want to understand their fears, insecurities and shame triggers. We teach you practical ways to deal with the mental and emotional challenges life throws at you and help you reach an unshakeable confidence in yourself (often for the first time in your life).

  • You won’t find negative, hateful language.
  • You won’t find a gender war – we don’t bash women.
  • You won’t find bitching, whining, complaining, and blaming.
  • You won’t find a group of men acting like victims.
  • You won’t find judgment or criticism from others.

We don't waste our time with all those things because we want to take the most efficient and effective path to creating the future you want. So we focus only on the things that are within your control: your thoughts, your words and your actions.

How do I know if I need coaching?

If you are feeling unhappy a lot of the time, if you're lonely, drained, lost, stuck or trapped, then our coaching will help. If you're not sure where your life is headed, if you're not confident in yourself, if you're not sure what you really want in life anymore...our coaching will help.

Whether it’s your job, your intimate relationship, or just wanting to feel more happy and with more purpose, then our coaching will help.

If you are tired of settling for a mediocre life or relationship, tolerating criticism and a lack of fun and intimacy and you're done with placating and playing it safe, then our coaching will help.

We will help you have clarity about what you're REALLY passionate about. We'll get you clear about where you want to be in six months and in six years. We help you figure out what you really want to create vs what other people think you should do.

We help you take action, get unstuck, start moving forward. We help you find what matters instead of just "being busy" in the daily grind. We help you figure out how you're going to get from where you are now to where you want to be.

For many of the guys we work with, they find a peace and a sense of emotional freedom that has them shaking their heads and smiling at how they used to approach life. They feel passionate about life again. They build stronger relationships with the people that matter most to them. They feel satisfied and fulfilled that they have finally found the “right path” forward and life starts to feel fun and inspiring again.

So now you've read that...what do you think? Would YOU like to try some of our coaching for free?

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

This is the secret your dad never told you about – You have more power than you know.

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