GoodGuys2GreatMen Video Podcast

The Foundation of a Sexually Attractive Man

Dan Dore & Steve Horsmon • 3m 44s • 20 May 2021

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The Foundation of a Sexually Attractive Man
Video overview: If your relationship is struggling and you’re wondering what happened to your confidence, this video is for you. A man does not need a giant world-changing mission to become attractive again — but he does need direction, self-respect, and the feeling that he is leading his own life.

A lot of men hear the phrase “a man on a mission is attractive” and immediately feel worse.

Because maybe you don’t feel like a man on a mission right now.

Maybe you feel tired. Maybe your marriage feels heavy. Maybe your wife seems less interested, less warm, less impressed, or less drawn to you than she used to be. And somewhere in the back of your mind, you’re wondering if you’ve become boring, needy, predictable, or just another man going through the motions.

That question can hurt.

What makes a man attractive?

It’s easy to turn that into another performance. Get fitter. Make more money. Be more alpha. Be more mysterious. Stop caring. Act like you have options. Push harder. Pull away.

But that’s not what we’re talking about here.

Attraction is not just about tricks, lines, or looking like you’ve got everything figured out. A woman can feel when a man is living from a deeper place. She can feel when he has direction. She can feel when he respects his own time, energy, body, values, and desires.

And she can also feel when he has quietly given all of that away.

A lot of good men lose their sense of purpose inside a long-term relationship. They don’t mean to. They start trying to be good husbands, good fathers, good providers, good problem-solvers, good peacekeepers.

They take care of the house. They pay attention to what everyone else needs. They make sure the wheels don’t fall off. They keep the money coming in. They mind the store.

And slowly, without noticing, they stop asking a very simple question.

What am I actually here to create?

Not just for her. Not just for the kids. Not just for the job. Not just to keep everyone calm and comfortable.

For me.

That’s where many men get lost. They become useful, responsible, dependable, and exhausted. But they no longer feel alive in their own skin. They no longer feel proud of the man they are becoming. They no longer wake up with a clear sense that their life belongs to them.

And brother, that affects everything.

It affects how you walk into a room. It affects how you touch her. It affects how you invite her into connection. It affects how you handle rejection. It affects how much you need from her to feel okay about yourself.

When a man lacks purpose, he often starts looking to his woman to provide the feeling of purpose for him. Her affection becomes proof that he’s doing okay. Her desire becomes proof that he’s still valuable. Her mood becomes the weather system he lives under.

That is a painful way to live.

This video is about bringing purpose back down to earth. You don’t need to start a charity, build a million-dollar company, write a book, or save the planet before you can become attractive again.

You can start living purposefully now.

That means you start paying attention to what kind of man you want to be today. How do you want to show up in your body? What do you want to practice? What do you want to create in your home? What kind of energy do you want to bring into a conversation with your wife? What are you inviting her into?

That is purpose.

Purpose is not always a lightning bolt from heaven. Sometimes it is a decision to stop drifting.

It is deciding that you are done waiting for her approval before you feel confident. It is deciding that you are done making your relationship the only measurement of your worth. It is deciding that you are going to become more clear, more grounded, more playful, more honest, and more directed because that is the man you respect.

And yes, women feel that.

They feel the difference between a man who is trying to get something from them and a man who is creating something from within himself. They feel the difference between a man who needs validation and a man who is inviting connection. They feel the difference between pressure and leadership.

This does not mean you become selfish, cold, or obsessed with your own goals. It means you stop disappearing into everyone else’s needs and calling that love.

It means you become a man with a center.

When you start living purposefully, you stop asking, “How do I make her attracted to me?” as if she holds the keys to your identity.

You start asking better questions.

What do I stand for?

Where am I going?

What kind of relationship do I want to create?

What kind of man would I be proud to bring into that relationship today?

That shift matters because attraction grows around energy, movement, clarity, and self-respect. Not perfection. Not performance. Not pretending to be someone else.

A struggling relationship can become a painful mirror. It can show you where you’ve been drifting, waiting, pleasing, hiding, or hoping she will hand you the confidence you stopped building for yourself.

That mirror can feel brutal.

But it can also wake you up.

This video will help you see that purpose is not some mysterious thing you either have or don’t have. It is something you can practice. It is something you can bring into your day, your marriage, your conversations, your body, your work, your friendships, and your connection with women.

You do not need to become a different man overnight.

But you do need to stop living like your life is on pause until she feels differently about you.

Start with direction. Start with honesty. Start with one clear choice that makes you respect yourself again.

That is where attractive masculine energy begins.

Find your direction again

If you’ve lost your confidence, your purpose, or your sense of who you are in the relationship, we can help you get your feet back under you. You don’t have to figure it out by guessing, pleasing, or waiting for her to make you feel like a man again.

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About the Hosts

Steve Horsmon & Dan Dore | Certified Professional Men’s Coach

Steve Horsmon and Dan Dore have spent over a decade supporting good men who are confused, frustrated, and afraid that their marriages and families are falling apart with no idea what to do about it. We've both experienced the same emotions that you're going through now. We know what it feels like to try all the mainstream try harder, be nicer advice while watching things continue to get worse. And that's exactly why Goodguys2Greatmen exists. Since 2012, we've coached thousands of men through some of the hardest periods of their lives; marriage breakdown, emotional distance, sexless relationships, fears of divorce or separation. We focus on practical solutions to help you survive some of the most challenging and painful experiences that a man can go through. This podcast is for men who are done waiting for their life and relationships to improve and are ready to make some bold decisions so that you become more calm and confident and start moving toward what you really want.