Masculinity | Good Guys 2 Great Men

Is Trust Causing The Disconnection In Your Marriage?

Have you ever heard these phrases about TRUST? “In God We Trust…all others must bring cash.” “I don’t trust anyone unless they EARN IT!” “I trusted you and then you broke my heart!” When it comes to relationships we must decide if trust is a starting point or an end result. Is trust something you can give even when you’re not sure it’s “deserved”? Brené Brown quotes Charles Feltman, author of “The Thin Book of Trust”, who describes trust as “choosing to risk making something you value vulnerable to another person’s actions.” Meanwhile, distrust is deciding that “what is important to me is not safe with this person in this … Continue reading →

My Wife Says “You need to work on yourself”

From 1999 to 2005 I owned and operated a Bed & Breakfast (and Horse Hotel) in the mountains of northern Colorado. Many of my guests were from a large Buddhist retreat center about a mile down the road. These were people seriously into “personal growth work” and many were repeat guests. They learned how to meditate, how to be mindful, how to be kind to themselves, how to witness their own thoughts and how to end their suffering by detaching from their desires…and lots of other cool stuff. In fact, if you read much of the stuff I write about that cool stuff may sound oddly similar. Most personal development … Continue reading →

My Wife Loves The Dog More Than Me – Why?

Have you ever uttered these words under your breath? “Look at her just kissing, rubbing and loving on that dog. He’s getting more of her happy, affectionate attention than I’ve gotten in two months. “ Maybe not those exact words, but I think you know what I’m talking about. If you’ve ever been in that cold, dark, barren “friend zone” with your wife you know what I mean. It’s that constant feeling of rejection and emptiness…just hoping for one little show of attention or affection. And when you see her happily give it to anyone or anything but you the downward spiral of anger and resentment starts. Damn dog. What’s … Continue reading →

My Wife Doesn’t Want To Have Sex When I Am Upset

“Every time I try to express my emotions to my wife she shuts down. And I know it’ll be about 2 weeks before we’ll have sex again! What the hell is up with that?!” Take a deep breath. Every time I explain how a man’s vulnerability can mess up his sex life someone ends up getting pissed off. He’ll say something like: “Why can’t she accept me and my emotions like I’m supposed to accept hers? Why can’t she have a little compassion and show support for ME sometimes?” This is such a common problem for married men you would think that no woman on earth can handle a man’s … Continue reading →

How to Stop Being Anxious About Your Marriage Problems

I was running through the woods the other day on my quest to lose a few of my wintry pounds. I like variety and can’t do the same thing over and over again. So I thought I’d do some trail running in the woods behind the house. Apparently, you’re supposed to look where you’re going. I was looking down, preoccupied with not falling when a sneaky tree branch came out of nowhere and knocked me in the head. I was only looking at my next step – with no idea where I was headed or what to expect. It’s a great metaphor and reminder if you’re ever feeling out of … Continue reading →

A Simple Way to Build Your Confidence Today

I’m typing this article to you at 8:00pm on a Saturday night with a runny nose and annoying cough. I could be watching reruns of American Pickers on The History Channel. That’s my normal “go to” couch potato TV indulgence when I’m sick. So why am I here sending this to you? Because I TOLD somebody I would! I knew early this morning I wanted to get this newsletter and video done, so I sent a text to my colleague, Dan Dore. I declared I would do this today. And it’s not midnight yet, so I’m still good and it feels good that I’m knocking it out. This is the … Continue reading →

Wife Always Has an Excuse Not to Have Sex

After over 340,000 views and over 1300 comments, this video of mine has apparently confused a few men. I want to clear up a few things and answer one of the most common comments. “How am I supposed to get a woman if I don’t CHASE them?!” I’ll never ask you to stop your healthy pursuit of great relationships and sex with women…I’m asking you to stop the needy pursuit of their acceptance and approval. That should be enough to make my point clear. But let me try for “crystal clear”. I am in 100% support of healthy, happy and confident men pursuing their desire for healthy, happy, loving, … Continue reading →

Should I Still Fight to Save My Marriage?

Today’s article is focused on a question that we get asked all the time: We’re heading toward divorce, so at this stage, do I still fight to try and save the marriage? It’s been said there are no atheists in foxholes. This implies that under extremely stressful conditions, everyone starts looking to a higher power for help or guidance. Not everyone. When my marriage was turning horribly painful and stressful, I sure wasn’t looking toward religion or any type of spiritual connection for help. I was too busy trying to fix things. I didn’t need any stinkin’ “spiritual help”. I was using my intellect to analyze and understand things. I … Continue reading →

My Wife is a Feminist and Thinks Masculinity is Toxic

Toxic masculinity…toxic masculinity…toxic masculinity! Did you get that queasy knot in your stomach yet? Is the hair on the back of you neck tingling just a bit? Most good men have a physical reaction to the phrase…at least a wince of discomfort when they hear it. And then what do they do? Some of them waste another few hours of their day lurking around the internet getting themselves all spun up with anger and defensiveness. They will engage in emotionally charged arguments with other men and women trying say something brilliant or change someone’s mind. The problem with this approach is that it’s entirely INEFFECTIVE. Most of the discourse on … Continue reading →

Why Does My Wife Struggle to Give Affection?

Simple analogies are sometimes the most powerful way to get a point across. Sometimes a guy will hear something for the 100th time but THIS time it’s said slightly differently and suddenly he gets it. A switch is flipped that can not be un-flipped for him. He can’t un-see what he now sees as pure truth. And at this moment he feels empowered to change his thinking…which changes everything he’s been feeling. I used to have a wonderful dog named Kody. He lived to be almost 17 years old which is OLD for a Golden Retriever. And for 17 years, Kody had primarily ONE THING on his mind. It was … Continue reading →