Communication | Good Guys 2 Great Men

My Wife Abuses Me, What Should I Do?

I may lose a few subscribers with this article…but it must be done. My hope for this message is to challenge and empower you to think differently about feeling offended, insulted, manipulated, controlled or abused. The internet abounds with countless experts trying to help people know when they are being abused and how to escape their evil perpetrators. These experts arm them with tips, tools and vocabulary to identify their manipulative, controlling, domineering and narcissistic abusers. “Abuse” is the new relationship battle cry and public enemy #1. It’s creating armies of otherwise healthy men and women who spend a LOT of time and energy indicting their persecutors. Then they spend … Continue reading →

Why Is My Wife No Longer Attracted To Me?

I’m seeing a very clear and amusing trend in many of the men in my community. What is it? INCREASED SEX APPEAL. What’s this, you ask? Let me answer that with a short story. A while back at one of my men’s bi-weekly meetings in Fort Collins, a guy told us of an interaction with his girlfriend. It came time for him to leave that evening for our men’s meeting and he said, “Oh, I need to get going, I’ve got a meeting to get to.” She said, “What meeting?” He reminded her, “I have my men’s group every two weeks. I mentioned it to you before. Tonight’s our night.” … Continue reading →

Why Won’t My Wife Talk To Me Anymore?

“We were having a great time and then all of a sudden I could see her shutting down. What can I do when that happens?” We hear this question all the time from the men in our community. Sometimes it sounds like… “She spends so much time in her room not engaging with me or the kids, how can I help her to reconnect with us?” It’s a common issue when a relationship is under pressure, maybe there’s a tension or a tentativeness that’s crept into your connection and suddenly all those thoughts that strike fear into your heart and put a knot in your gut start racing through your … Continue reading →

How Can I Be More Confident In My Marriage?

There’s a very special trait many of the men in our “tribe” have in common and it drives them absolutely crazy. What is it? It’s the feeling of LOST CONFIDENCE. Have you ever felt this? This is what it sounds like: “I used to be so self-assured. Back in college and when I first met my wife I felt like I had it all figured out. Nobody could knock me off emotional balance and I felt strong. I was in control of my life and felt like I had everything I needed to stay that way. But…not anymore. My wife/girlfriend can knock me backwards with just a look and I … Continue reading →

Wife Wants to Divorce, I Feel Like I’m Dying, Help!

Two years ago I spent an intense hour talking with a frantic guy who was facing divorce. I never heard from him again…until this week. His email was fairly short and to the point. “I talked to you probably 2 years ago. Didn’t move forward with any counseling. Ended up with a divorce. In the divorce I gave her everything. Then there was a house fire where I moved and I lost the little I had rebuilt. Then a car crash totaled my car . Guess what? I didn’t die. It sucked. But i didn’t die.” I love the simplicity of this realization. He didn’t die. Yep, it sucked. But … Continue reading →

5 Steps to Reignite Your Sexless Marriage

I remember the feeling of being confident in every area of my life, achieving at work, a healthy and well proportioned body, good relationships with my kids and family…and yet my confidence around my wife was at an all time low. I tried everything I could think of to show her how much I cared, how important she was to me, how attractive I found her, and she backed away further, told me I was needy, said “I hate the way you make me feel” and even told me I was being creepy. WTF! Fast forward to today and to hearing her say, “I’m so happy and relaxed around you, … Continue reading →

How to Make the Hardest Decision of Your Life

Each day I day talk to men on the hairy edge of making a decision. They may be stuck in the “Limbo Land” of a marriage that is spiraling out of control with no resolution in sight. Or they may feel trapped in a job or career that is sucking their soul out of their body on a daily basis. Or they want to speak their truth to somebody so badly it’s eating them alive and keeping them in a dark, angry place. How do you make a hard decision? How do you break free from the fear of outcome and the fear of someone’s reaction? The answer is to … Continue reading →

Why Does My Wife Avoid Me?

Does your wife or girlfriend sometimes act like she would rather be anywhere on this planet but with you? Does this get under your skin and make you boiling mad? Do you feel hurt, unappreciated and ignored? Let’s talk about how men, women (and horses, of course) feel the PRESSURE to get away. Let’s talk about how we can reduce the pressure and create an environment where softness, relaxation and closer INTIMACY is possible. Watch or listen to this video to find out WHAT we do to cause this and what it looks and sounds like. Then below I’ll talk about WHY we do this and how change things up. … Continue reading →

How to Lead Your Marriage to More Passion and Connection

Husband leading wife in relationship dance

Do you ever worry that you could be “let go” from your job as husband at any moment? What would you do if that happened? What would you THINK? Do you sometimes have an “employee” mindset in your relationship? This is the main source of discomfort and insecurity for way too many men. If you look at the “position” of husband from the mindset of an employee you will adopt the bad behaviors of a man who feels like a second class citizen in his own home. And THAT will destroy a marriage faster than anything else I can think of. Let me give you an example of two men. … Continue reading →

How to Create More Fun in Your Marriage

Have you ever had that “not so fresh” feeling? I’m not referring to your hygiene. I’m talking about your overall mood, energy level and attitude. I’m talking about those times when you feel almost numb or FLAT. You’re neither high nor low. You’re stuck between first gear and reverse. The engine is running but you’re not going anywhere. And you’re concerned about that. This can happen at any time – good times or bad. I’m usually talking about a guy whose marriage is stuck in limbo and he’s anxious because things aren’t going anywhere. But it also happens to men who have started making improvements. What should you do when … Continue reading →