distant wife | Good Guys 2 Great Men

How to Lead Your Marriage to More Passion and Connection

Husband leading wife in relationship dance

Do you ever worry that you could be “let go” from your job as husband at any moment? What would you do if that happened? What would you THINK? Do you sometimes have an “employee” mindset in your relationship? This is the main source of discomfort and insecurity for way too many men. If you look at the “position” of husband from the mindset of an employee you will adopt the bad behaviors of a man who feels like a second class citizen in his own home. And THAT will destroy a marriage faster than anything else I can think of. Let me give you an example of two men. … Continue reading →

How to Create More Fun in Your Marriage

Have you ever had that “not so fresh” feeling? I’m not referring to your hygiene. I’m talking about your overall mood, energy level and attitude. I’m talking about those times when you feel almost numb or FLAT. You’re neither high nor low. You’re stuck between first gear and reverse. The engine is running but you’re not going anywhere. And you’re concerned about that. This can happen at any time – good times or bad. I’m usually talking about a guy whose marriage is stuck in limbo and he’s anxious because things aren’t going anywhere. But it also happens to men who have started making improvements. What should you do when … Continue reading →

She Needs Space – Don’t React Like This!

The three words that make your neck hairs stand up and your gut tighten into nauseous knots are… “I need space!” I’ve talked a lot in videos about this issue, like here…and here. Those videos talk about what to think about her request for space and how to know whether it’s really a request for divorce. This article is about the PRESSURE she feels and the distinction between the BAD pressure you must stop and the GOOD pressure you must start. Even if you wind up divorced, you must understand the difference and become a master of applying GOOD pressure – everywhere in your life. Let me explain this in … Continue reading →

Is Trust Causing The Disconnection In Your Marriage?

Have you ever heard these phrases about TRUST? “In God We Trust…all others must bring cash.” “I don’t trust anyone unless they EARN IT!” “I trusted you and then you broke my heart!” When it comes to relationships we must decide if trust is a starting point or an end result. Is trust something you can give even when you’re not sure it’s “deserved”? Brené Brown quotes Charles Feltman, author of “The Thin Book of Trust”, who describes trust as “choosing to risk making something you value vulnerable to another person’s actions.” Meanwhile, distrust is deciding that “what is important to me is not safe with this person in this … Continue reading →

My Wife Says “You need to work on yourself”

From 1999 to 2005 I owned and operated a Bed & Breakfast (and Horse Hotel) in the mountains of northern Colorado. Many of my guests were from a large Buddhist retreat center about a mile down the road. These were people seriously into “personal growth work” and many were repeat guests. They learned how to meditate, how to be mindful, how to be kind to themselves, how to witness their own thoughts and how to end their suffering by detaching from their desires…and lots of other cool stuff. In fact, if you read much of the stuff I write about that cool stuff may sound oddly similar. Most personal development … Continue reading →

My Wife Loves The Dog More Than Me – Why?

Have you ever uttered these words under your breath? “Look at her just kissing, rubbing and loving on that dog. He’s getting more of her happy, affectionate attention than I’ve gotten in two months. “ Maybe not those exact words, but I think you know what I’m talking about. If you’ve ever been in that cold, dark, barren “friend zone” with your wife you know what I mean. It’s that constant feeling of rejection and emptiness…just hoping for one little show of attention or affection. And when you see her happily give it to anyone or anything but you the downward spiral of anger and resentment starts. Damn dog. What’s … Continue reading →

My Wife Doesn’t Want To Have Sex When I Am Upset

“Every time I try to express my emotions to my wife she shuts down. And I know it’ll be about 2 weeks before we’ll have sex again! What the hell is up with that?!” Take a deep breath. Every time I explain how a man’s vulnerability can mess up his sex life someone ends up getting pissed off. He’ll say something like: “Why can’t she accept me and my emotions like I’m supposed to accept hers? Why can’t she have a little compassion and show support for ME sometimes?” This is such a common problem for married men you would think that no woman on earth can handle a man’s … Continue reading →

How to Stop Being Anxious About Your Marriage Problems

I was running through the woods the other day on my quest to lose a few of my wintry pounds. I like variety and can’t do the same thing over and over again. So I thought I’d do some trail running in the woods behind the house. Apparently, you’re supposed to look where you’re going. I was looking down, preoccupied with not falling when a sneaky tree branch came out of nowhere and knocked me in the head. I was only looking at my next step – with no idea where I was headed or what to expect. It’s a great metaphor and reminder if you’re ever feeling out of … Continue reading →

A Simple Way to Build Your Confidence Today

I’m typing this article to you at 8:00pm on a Saturday night with a runny nose and annoying cough. I could be watching reruns of American Pickers on The History Channel. That’s my normal “go to” couch potato TV indulgence when I’m sick. So why am I here sending this to you? Because I TOLD somebody I would! I knew early this morning I wanted to get this newsletter and video done, so I sent a text to my colleague, Dan Dore. I declared I would do this today. And it’s not midnight yet, so I’m still good and it feels good that I’m knocking it out. This is the … Continue reading →

Wife Always Has an Excuse Not to Have Sex

After over 340,000 views and over 1300 comments, this video of mine has apparently confused a few men. I want to clear up a few things and answer one of the most common comments. “How am I supposed to get a woman if I don’t CHASE them?!” I’ll never ask you to stop your healthy pursuit of great relationships and sex with women…I’m asking you to stop the needy pursuit of their acceptance and approval. That should be enough to make my point clear. But let me try for “crystal clear”. I am in 100% support of healthy, happy and confident men pursuing their desire for healthy, happy, loving, … Continue reading →