How Long??? (Since You Had Sex With Your Wife)

It’s been how long since you had sex with your wife??? It’s the shameful story running over and over in your head and it’s eating away at your confidence. You’re feeling more and more frustrated and desperate every day this goes on…I get it brother, I’ve been there too.

It’s 6:30am.

You’ve been having some sexy dreams…or not.

But still you’re waking up with that all too familiar hot rush of desire coursing through your veins. It’s undeniable. It’s irrepressible.

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There is NO going back to sleep.

And you’re starting to think how long it’s been since you’ve been touched.

Your mind is racing with opposing forces.

Intense desire. And nagging resentment.

You want to start rubbing her back. You want to be slow and gentle.

You’re tentative with the fear of rejection or being rebuffed with an exasperated sigh or criticism. You begin to EXPECT her to move away and judge you harshly.

By now your pulsing desire is fading as intense sadness…and then…anger fills your thoughts.

And now it’s 6:35am.

And you’re “horngry” as hell.

Similar to being “hangry” (hunger driven anger), we may feel “horngry” when we experience anger as a result of intense sexual desire.

Most men first coming into the GG2GM community forums know exactly what I’m talking about.

They use phrases like, “Another crappy morning…I need help!” or “I lost my sh*t tonight…I need to stop this!”

But let’s be honest with each other here. We both know your anger isn’t simply about being horny. It’s about much more.

I explain this more deeply in this video.

YouTube video

Here’s the REAL Issue

First, I won’t try to tell you that sex is unimportant.

I will not try tell you it’s wrong to be a passionate, sexual man with a healthy, hot-blooded sex drive.

And I won’t try to convince you to stop desiring an emotionally intimate and physically sexual relationship.

I don’t believe any of those things are true or necessary.

I know rejection hurts. I know how it feels to be treated like a monster for just wanting a kiss goodnight.

And I know how intense those 6:30am mind monkeys can be as they spin you into an angry lather before you know it.

But the problem really isn’t what SHE is thinking about you.

It’s what YOU are thinking about you.

It’s not just that we believe we’re seen as an unattractive, undesirable and unlovable person…it’s that we believe it just might be true.

We don’t help men by letting them blame women for not wanting sex.

We don’t help men by telling them to lower their expectations.

And we don’t help men by telling them their desires are wrong

We help you by connecting you with a much deeper sense of personal value, sexual healthiness and emotional confidence.

We directly address the secret fear and shameful suspicion that you just might actually be unattractive, undesirable or unlovable.

Spoiler alert.

You’re not. You’re actually just fine.

And it’s critically important for you to understand that and WHY your brain has been tricked into thinking so.

Once you flip this switch in your head, you instantly feel calmer.

Less reactive. Less resentful.

Less “horngry”.

THIS is where you want to be so you can get to the next step of your growth. It’s insanely liberating.

Learning how to manage “horngriness” is one the most important keys to improving your self-respect, self-confident and overall ATTRACTIVENESS in every sense of the word.

If you’re a man who wants to have that, I want to invite you into my tribe. It’s the best place for a man who wants to find a more CONSISTENT STATE OF CONFIDENCE and more SEXUAL SELF-RESPECT.

Two of the most powerful groups of men you can join are the:

The Men’s Live Coaching Roundtable is a powerful collection of men from around the world working together to transform themselves and their relationships. Dan Dore and I lead this community with 5 other professional coaches. We have live coaching video calls twice per month. The camaraderie in this group is something missing from the lives of too many men in the world.

Our Mastering Connection With Women course starts again in May lead by Dan and Alexis – Receive live feedback on your energy and confidence. Find out what you need to do to own your sexuality and masculinity. Navigate tests and create more connection and intimacy with ease. Find out more and signup here.

Our online course How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a deep and intense dive into handling yourself when you hear, “I love you but I’m not in love with you anymore.” Tim Wade and I host monthly live Q&A calls with all the students in this course which includes many other bonuses as well. Find out more here.

We love teaching men these tools – how to be better, how to know who you are, what you stand for, what you want and how to CREATE it in your life through our Masculine Confidence coaching programs.

What if this next year everything changed for you?

That’s what we want for you brother.

My new book Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband will help you to lead yourself and your relationship back to good health. Understand why your partner acts the way she does toward you and learn how to lead your life in the direction you want it to go. You CAN have the relationship you want, fulfilling all your desires while maintaining love and respect.

I wrote a free e-book to help men learn how to lose their fear and be more bold in their marriage to create the love and connection they want. Get The Hard to Swallow Truth About Saving Your Marriage HERE

Sign up to receive my email newsletters here for lots more free tips and advice.

You can watch all my videos here and read my blog articles here.

See what life changing results you’re missing out on here.

author avatar
Steve Horsmon Certified Professional Men’s Coach
Steve Horsmon is a Certified Professional Life Coach and owner of Goodguys2Greatmen Relationship Coaching in Livermore, Colorado. He has appeared on well known coachign and psychology television, radio, youtube, and podcast channels related to maintaining healthy relationships. Steve provides intensely personal, action oriented coaching services for men through 1-on-1 coaching, private retreats and workshops designed to give men new knowledge, skills and mindset to achieve their relationship goals. He is a committed, lifelong mentor who teaches his clients to discover their masculine power, take bold action and create the life they want. He has written articles and guest blogs for numerous relationship and expert websites.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is our coaching right for you?

Our coaching process was created for men who want to feel happier and more fulfilled in their life and relationships. We teach you how to have more confidence and clarity about what you want in your life and create an action plan to start making it happen.

Do you only work with men in marriage?

While our coaching teaches you how to create a more connected, more fun and passionate marriage, we also work with you to have more clarity, enthusiasm and fulfillment in all areas of your life. We help you understand what you really want your future to look like and we also teach you how to be in control of your emotions so that you can be confident and assertive no matter how difficult your circumstances are right now .

What happens in the free 90-minute coaching call?

In our free initial coaching calls, we listen a lot, we ask you questions to understand what life is really like for you at the moment, we help you identify what you want to be different and what's holding you back from creating those changes now. Then we help you create a practical plan of action to start moving forward straight away.

What will I learn in your coaching programs?

We take you through a process to:

  • Stop being tentative and become more focused and directed.
  • Develop control over your thoughts and emotions like never before.
  • Become a master of the masculine and feminine dance required for a more passionate connection in your romantic relationships.
  • Build and sustain your personal masculine confidence so that you don't get "triggered" or feel disrespected and can respond with strength and confidence to any situation.
  • Become more connected, aware and present with everyone (this is a critical step in your ability to build attraction and desire as well as have people trust you and respect you more).
  • Stop the destructive emotions of anger and resentment which keep you going around in frustrating cycles and start from moving forward with purpose.
  • Stop being anxious, needy and overly reliant upon other people's opinions and approval of you and start feeling more peace, happiness and a deep sense of being a man who is confident in himself again.
  • You will become a confident man who knows his values, what he wants and where he’s going in his life.
  • You will learn how to think, speak and act according to your values without worrying about reactions from others.
  • You become clear and confident in your ability to create intimacy whenever you want.
  • Your confidence will be something that you start to rely on and trust in every part of your life.

How does the Men's Roundtable work?

Our Men's Roundtable membership gives you access to 3 live group coaching calls per month hosted by Steve and Dan as well as access to over 5 years of previously recorded group coaching calls, an invitation to our private facebook group, and ongoing assignments and resources to help you grow and develop as a confident masculine man. It's like having a personal coach in your pocket, ready to help whenever you need it.

What's the difference between the 1-to-1 coaching and group coaching?

Firstly, anyone who is in our 1-to-1 coaching program automatically receives access to the Men's Roundtable membership and group coaching for free for life. The difference between 1-to-1 and group coaching is down to the speed of change that you want to happen. With more personal time and attention from your coach, the 1-to-1 program is adapted to your specific circumstances and will provide the practical advice you need to know what to think, say and do to create what you want your future to be.

What kind of man is right for your coaching?

We work with men who are willing to take the lead in creating the changes they want in their life and relationships. We only work with men who want to understand their fears, insecurities and shame triggers. We teach you practical ways to deal with the mental and emotional challenges life throws at you and help you reach an unshakeable confidence in yourself (often for the first time in your life).

  • You won’t find negative, hateful language.
  • You won’t find a gender war – we don’t bash women.
  • You won’t find bitching, whining, complaining, and blaming.
  • You won’t find a group of men acting like victims.
  • You won’t find judgment or criticism from others.

We don't waste our time with all those things because we want to take the most efficient and effective path to creating the future you want. So we focus only on the things that are within your control: your thoughts, your words and your actions.

How do I know if I need coaching?

If you are feeling unhappy a lot of the time, if you're lonely, drained, lost, stuck or trapped, then our coaching will help. If you're not sure where your life is headed, if you're not confident in yourself, if you're not sure what you really want in life anymore...our coaching will help.

Whether it’s your job, your intimate relationship, or just wanting to feel more happy and with more purpose, then our coaching will help.

If you are tired of settling for a mediocre life or relationship, tolerating criticism and a lack of fun and intimacy and you're done with placating and playing it safe, then our coaching will help.

We will help you have clarity about what you're REALLY passionate about. We'll get you clear about where you want to be in six months and in six years. We help you figure out what you really want to create vs what other people think you should do.

We help you take action, get unstuck, start moving forward. We help you find what matters instead of just "being busy" in the daily grind. We help you figure out how you're going to get from where you are now to where you want to be.

For many of the guys we work with, they find a peace and a sense of emotional freedom that has them shaking their heads and smiling at how they used to approach life. They feel passionate about life again. They build stronger relationships with the people that matter most to them. They feel satisfied and fulfilled that they have finally found the “right path” forward and life starts to feel fun and inspiring again.

So now you've read that...what do you think? Would YOU like to try some of our coaching for free?

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

This is the secret your dad never told you about – You have more power than you know.

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