It’s been how long since you had sex with your wife??? It’s the shameful story running over and over in your head and it’s eating away at your confidence. You’re feeling more and more frustrated and desperate every day this goes on…I get it brother, I’ve been there too.
You’ve been having some sexy dreams…or not.
But still you’re waking up with that all too familiar hot rush of desire coursing through your veins. It’s undeniable. It’s irrepressible.
There is NO going back to sleep.
And you’re starting to think how long it’s been since you’ve been touched.
Your mind is racing with opposing forces.
Intense desire. And nagging resentment.
You want to start rubbing her back. You want to be slow and gentle.
You’re tentative with the fear of rejection or being rebuffed with an exasperated sigh or criticism. You begin to EXPECT her to move away and judge you harshly.
By now your pulsing desire is fading as intense sadness…and then…anger fills your thoughts.
And now it’s 6:35am.
And you’re “horngry” as hell.
Similar to being “hangry” (hunger driven anger), we may feel “horngry” when we experience anger as a result of intense sexual desire.
They use phrases like, “Another crappy morning…I need help!” or “I lost my sh*t tonight…I need to stop this!”
But let’s be honest with each other here. We both know your anger isn’t simply about being horny. It’s about much more.
I explain this more deeply in this video.
Here’s the REAL Issue
First, I won’t try to tell you that sex is unimportant.
I will not try tell you it’s wrong to be a passionate, sexual man with a healthy, hot-blooded sex drive.
And I won’t try to convince you to stop desiring an emotionally intimate and physically sexual relationship.
I don’t believe any of those things are true or necessary.
I know rejection hurts. I know how it feels to be treated like a monster for just wanting a kiss goodnight.
And I know how intense those 6:30am mind monkeys can be as they spin you into an angry lather before you know it.
But the problem really isn’t what SHE is thinking about you.
It’s what YOU are thinking about you.
It’s not just that we believe we’re seen as an unattractive, undesirable and unlovable person…it’s that we believe it just might be true.
We don’t help men by letting them blame women for not wanting sex.
We don’t help men by telling them to lower their expectations.
And we don’t help men by telling them their desires are wrong
We help you by connecting you with a much deeper sense of personal value, sexual healthiness and emotional confidence.
We directly address the secret fear and shameful suspicion that you just might actually be unattractive, undesirable or unlovable.
You’re not. You’re actually just fine.
And it’s critically important for you to understand that and WHY your brain has been tricked into thinking so.
Once you flip this switch in your head, you instantly feel calmer.
Less reactive. Less resentful.
THIS is where you want to be so you can get to the next step of your growth. It’s insanely liberating.
Learning how to manage “horngriness” is one the most important keys to improving your self-respect, self-confident and overall ATTRACTIVENESS in every sense of the word.
If you’re a man who wants to have that, I want to invite you into my tribe. It’s the best place for a man who wants to find a more CONSISTENT STATE OF CONFIDENCE and more SEXUAL SELF-RESPECT.
Two of the most powerful groups of men you can join are the:
The Men’s Live Coaching Roundtable is a powerful collection of men from around the world working together to transform themselves and their relationships. Dan Dore and I lead this community with 5 other professional coaches. We have live coaching video calls twice per month. The camaraderie in this group is something missing from the lives of too many men in the world.
Our Mastering Connection With Women course starts again in May lead by Dan and Alexis – Receive live feedback on your energy and confidence. Find out what you need to do to own your sexuality and masculinity. Navigate tests and create more connection and intimacy with ease. Find out more and signup here.
Our online course How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a deep and intense dive into handling yourself when you hear, “I love you but I’m not in love with you anymore.” Tim Wade and I host monthly live Q&A calls with all the students in this course which includes many other bonuses as well. Find out more here.
We love teaching men these tools – how to be better, how to know who you are, what you stand for, what you want and how to CREATE it in your life through our Masculine Confidence coaching programs.
What if this next year everything changed for you?
That’s what we want for you brother.
My new book Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband will help you to lead yourself and your relationship back to good health. Understand why your partner acts the way she does toward you and learn how to lead your life in the direction you want it to go. You CAN have the relationship you want, fulfilling all your desires while maintaining love and respect.