divorce | Good Guys 2 Great Men

My Wife Says She Wants to Leave Me, What Should I Do?

unhappy wife emotional conversation with husband

The top four questions men ask upon learning their wife wants to leave are: What did I do to deserve this? Why didn’t she tell me she was unhappy? How could she think breaking up the family is a good idea? Why won’t she at least give me a chance to change? My first answer is always: It’s Not All About You, Brother It’s perfectly normal for you to think her decision to separate or divorce is all about you. After all, if you believe it’s all your fault then you’ve got a chance to fix it! This is the most frustrating part because you begin to learn it isn’t … Continue reading →

Why is My Wife so Cold and Distant?

I’ll just say it and get it over with. Women can be a lot like horses. It sounds innocent enough but I’ve gotten a lot of crap over comparing women to animals. It’s a metaphor, for Pete’s sake. (actually it’s a simile for you grammar freaks) A woman once told me, “You guys are like dogs. A kind word, a good meal and rub on the belly every now and then and you’re good to go. Simple bastards!” Hell yes, sister! Now you’ve got it. Most of us can go without food or water for week with just one “You’re such a good boy!” show of appreciation. So, I don’t … Continue reading →

Is Your Marriage Stuck in Limbo Land?

We run regular live coaching sessions with guys like you to just gather the men, answer questions and give each other some brotherly support. I ask that guys send questions in advance so Dan Dore and I can have some topics ready to address. The big topic last week was about “Limbo Land”. It’s that time in a man’s marriage where he feels shaky, nervous and totally uncertain about where the relationship is going or if it will even survive. He feels in “limbo”…permanently. The question was, “Can you give more insight into what limbo land is, why it happens and what I can do about it?” I decided to … Continue reading →

My Wife Said I’m Controlling, What Do I Do Now?

Sometimes we get our best ideas at the most awkward times…like on the toilet. There I was, reading an old issue of Rolling Stones magazine and an interview with the late Glenn Frey of the band The Eagles. My favorite band of all time, by the way. Anyway, I read a quote he made during an interview and it gave me a flash of insight – an idea – and there was no pen in sight. The interviewer commented how amazing it was that the band could so closely reproduce in live concert the perfect vocal harmonies and instrumentation they achieved on their records. Glenn said, “Yeah, with so many … Continue reading →

How Overreacting Reduces the Affection in Your Marriage

I say this about 20 times a week. STAY IN YOUR LANE, BROTHER! I say it to men who are stumbling into negativity, dark thoughts and unnecessary conflict. But what does it mean? It means to stop driving into the drama created by others. It means to stop believing every bad day is a sign that something is wrong. And when things are going great, don’t get caught up in believing they will always be great. Life is an experience of ups and downs…highs and lows. But if you don’t know where YOUR LANE is, you’ll drive all over the freaking road feeling out of control…a victim of circumstances. If … Continue reading →

Being More Confident and Masculine in Your Marriage

Some days I can feel like a big fat wuss. You? You know those days of camping out too long on the couch…putting off a list of things you want to do but just can’t find the energy. Sometimes our mojo (self-worth and self-confidence) just takes a major dive and leaves us feeling weak and insignificant. Most men can remember a time in their life when they felt pretty cocksure about themselves. Maybe it was in school, sports, games, technology…whatever. There’s usually a time in our life we can remember when we thought we were doing okay and actually had a little badassery going on. Then the time comes in … Continue reading →

Wife Wants a Divorce? How to Stop the Crushing Fear and Loneliness

This week I decided to fly right toward Hurricane Florence and you’ll never guess what happened. I almost didn’t leave Colorado. The forecasts were dim. Negative Nellie’s told me to cancel my trip. “You might get stuck on the east coast for days!”, they said. So what did I do? I drove 2 hours to Denver International Airport and jumped on a plane flying straight for Hurricane Florence. Well, actually, it was to Baltimore…but close enough. I decided to assume the best and accept the worst. But the the worst never happened. It usually never does. Read that again. The worst things we imagine almost never come true. And as … Continue reading →

My Wife Doesn’t Love Me Anymore, What Can I Do?

The most common questions we get asked every day often sound very similar: What can I do when my wife has told me she needs space, that she feels smothered, that she’s not sure what she feels for me anymore or that she feels numb? Most of us are knocked sideways when we hear her say these words and the surprise makes us panic and try to urgently fix what’s going wrong in our relationship. As many of you already know, that reaction just magnifies the problem. In this video Steve and I discuss what you can do when she’s backing away from you to attract her back toward you. … Continue reading →

Turn Your Angry Wife Into a Purring Pussycat

Since I don’t have kids, I don’t normally give much parenting advice. Although the “man skills” I teach are totally transferable to parenting nothing beats a great true story to illustrate a point. My buddy, Jeff, told me a story today about his unruly 15-year-old who went ballistic when Jeff took his phone away. I don’t just mean ballistic. I mean all out warfare. What do you do when someone with a 15-year-old mindset and maturity does something so outrageous that you feel like throwing him through a wall? I found out the answer today when Jeff shared this great story. I love how he handled it. Jeff Allen is … Continue reading →

How to Be a Naturally Confident and Attractive Man

calm mountain lion is like a confident man

The mountain lion speaks to me because he’s the perfect metaphor for cool, calm, confident masculinity. And he achieves this not by DOING anything in particular…he just IS. This is what makes him so regal – so magnetic – so attractive. It’s the mystery of his fierce energy and his quiet resolve. He’s focused and engaged while detached and relaxed at the same time. He seems entirely self-satisfied and unrattled by drama. They say “the lion doesn’t turn around when the small dog barks”. And a Nigerian proverb says “The roaring lion kills no prey.” He doesn’t over-react. He speaks less and listens more. He responds calmly and does only … Continue reading →