How Can I Save My Marriage? and Why it's the Wrong Question to Ask

There’s a “chicken and the egg” situation I want to address right here…right now.

And this is crucial to HOW YOU THINK about getting what you want in life and relationships.

How you think about everything is the only control you have and all you will ever need.

Why?

Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity >>

Because the moment you change the way you think about the things happening in your life…those very things will start changing in front of your eyes.

I’m in the business of helping men CHANGE THEIR PERSPECTIVE about what it means to be a man. I teach them HOW TO THINK differently.

What causes us to become needy, dependent and afraid in relationships?

What is the true source of confidence, clarity and well-being if it’s not in the warm, accepting arms of a woman?

I ask men to tell me what they MOST WANT in the next 6 months. What’s the most important question they need answered?

Other articles you may find helpful:

No Sex Marriage? Become a Husband With His Confident Swagger Back
How to Decide What to do With Your Marriage

Here is the #1 most popular question I get from men.

“How can I get my wife/girlfriend to like me/love me/pay attention to me/give me affection/desire me/touch me/have sex with me again?”

And then I ask them what they see as their biggest barrier to getting what they want.

Here is #2 most popular question I get from men.

“How can I find the confidence/strength/self-esteem/courage to be the man I know I can be?”

You see the problem already, don’t you? (my readers are incredibly smart, intuitive people…I know this)

Those two questions need to be flip-flopped.

There is no mystery about which comes first – confidence or attractiveness.

We must FOCUS on the real problem and make it our top priority.

Your sense of confidence/strength/self-esteem/courage precedes every positive thing you want to create.

And, obviously, if you have the OPPOSITE of those things…you will create nothing you want.

I talk about this more in this video.

When you’re in the middle of the trauma and feeling a relationship falling apart.

When you have a woman saying “I love you but I’m not in love with you”, “I just don’t feel the same anymore”, “I need space” or something similar, it’s hard to remember that your number one job is not to “save your marriage” or to “make her like you”, it’s not to “attract her back” either. The truth is that the marriage you had over the past few weeks, months or years isn’t worth saving anyway.

That’s why the number one question that guys ask “How do I make her like me again?” is the wrong question and it’s in the wrong order.

The first questions should always be “How do you get your confident swagger back?”

How do you become that man who’s got his Mojo intact again?

A man who knows his own value. Who has his self worth, self confidence and self esteem securely in place. A man who already knows he’s OK, better than OK.

This is what Dan and I do with men and it’s what we’d love to help you with.

I wrote a book for you called “Straight talk tools for the desperate husband” which you can get on Amazon here for $7.99. It sounds like it’s all about saving your marriage. It even has a subtitle of ‘How to become a masculine, confident man who can fix his marriage without becoming a controlling asshole’.

However the truth is that the book isn’t about saving your marriage, although if you read it, you’ll find out that becoming a masculine, confident man in your own right is the journey you need to take to give your marriage the best chance of reconciling.

The book originally had a title of “Remasculation – join the movement of men who are getting their balls back and creating the life they want” but after talking to my editor we realized that nobody would buy that!

It’s kinda what my book is about though. It’s about how you can get your swagger back. How you can become a confident, masculine man who knows he’s going to be OK, who knows how to create the life he wants and who gets what he wants.

If that sounds like something you want and that would help you in your life and relationship then go here to grab a copy.

Once you’ve read it I’d love for you to leave a review for others to hear your honest opinion about it. Or email me and let me know what you thought of it.

So how do you learn to be more confident?

Self-help is a popular route. Sometimes it’s quite effective.

However, you can overdose on self-help when it becomes a search for INFORMATION…TIPS…HACKS…OR TRICKS.

There is NO QUICK FIX to learning true confidence. It takes conscious action and application to real-world situations.

Consistency is key to learning a new habit and creating new patterns in your behavior.

When I wrote my book, Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband, I purposely put in all kinds of examples of situations, dialog, conversations and case studies to help you TAKE ACTION.

I know it’s ACTION which will cause the shift you need in your thinking and your confidence. And when this happens, I get an email like this:

“I know this sounds maybe funny to some, but it is just so damn easy living with this sense of calm, knowing that it is just a movie, an exciting, thrilling virtual reality. If you want passion, its yours, if you want love, right there it is, if you want adventure, bang …you can have it. What is also really exciting is the realization that if you want pain, hate, guilt, sadness, loneliness, those too are simply choices that you can make to acquire those things.” (Matt E)

Self help CAN BE quite effective when you know how to turn the information into action.

I know ANOTHER WAY to learn confidence quickly.

It’s more than $7.99, but it’s an investment (and experience) of a lifetime.

We love to help men understand when they’ve been searching for solutions to their struggling marriage and intimacy frustrations in the wrong places. When a man gets this, it can have a huge affect on the connection and affection he enjoys in his relationships.

Confidence, courage and happiness come from inside you.

We would love to help you become more confident, more courageous and more happy in the areas of your life where you’re struggling.

Either through 1-on-1 coaching with my colleague Dan Dore or me, or in our group coaching program.

Come and try our coaching – join us and some other amazing men who are travelling the same path as you right now, join our Men’s Live Coaching Roundtable where we will help you re-find the confident, attractive man you know yourself to be.

Find out more about our Roundtable live coaching program here. There’s an amazing tribe of guys in this group with us, supporting and helping each other through this process of growth and self realization.

What if this next year everything changed for you?

That’s what I want for you brother,

We love teaching men these tools – how to be better, how to know who you are, what you stand for, what you want and how to CREATE it in your life through our Masculine Confidence coaching programs.

Dan and I are here to guide you on this mission.

If you want to become a man who knows and trusts himself to create the life and love he wants, apply for a free consultation call with me or Dan. I guarantee you’ll feel a whole lot better by the end of our talk.

My new book Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband will help you to lead yourself and your relationship back to good health. Understand why your partner acts the way she does toward you and learn how to lead your life in the direction you want it to go. You CAN have the relationship you want, fulfilling all your desires while maintaining love and respect.

I wrote a free e-book to help men learn how to lose their fear and be more bold in their marriage to create the love and connection they want. Get The Hard to Swallow Truth About Saving Your Marriage HERE

You can watch all my videos here and read my blog articles here.

See what life changing results you’re missing out on here.

Dan Dore Certified Professional Men’s Coach

Dan Dore is a certified professional Men’s Coach specialising in helping men who are struggling and feeling unhappy and unfulfilled i their life and relationships. With over 20,000 hours experience coaching men to completely resolve their self-esteem and confidence issues and improve their ability to create emotional connection, build trust, earn respect, and lead the sexual intimacy and affection in their relationship whenever they want. No more fearing rejection or other people’s opinion of you - I want to help you finally be happy in yourself and trust your ability to create anything you want in your future.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Is our coaching right for you?

Our coaching process was created for men who want to feel happier and more fulfilled in their life and relationships. We teach you how to have more confidence and clarity about what you want in your life and create an action plan to start making it happen.

Do you only work with men in marriage?

While our coaching teaches you how to create a more connected, more fun and passionate marriage, we also work with you to have more clarity, enthusiasm and fulfillment in all areas of your life. We help you understand what you really want your future to look like and we also teach you how to be in control of your emotions so that you can be confident and assertive no matter how difficult your circumstances are right now .

What happens in the free 90-minute coaching call?

In our free initial coaching calls, we listen a lot, we ask you questions to understand what life is really like for you at the moment, we help you identify what you want to be different and what's holding you back from creating those changes now. Then we help you create a practical plan of action to start moving forward straight away.

What will I learn in your coaching programs?

We take you through a process to:

Stop being tentative and become more focused and directed.
Develop control over your thoughts and emotions like never before.
Become a master of the masculine and feminine dance required for a more passionate connection in your romantic relationships.
Build and sustain your personal masculine confidence so that you don't get "triggered" or feel disrespected and can respond with strength and confidence to any situation.
Become more connected, aware and present with everyone (this is a critical step in your ability to build attraction and desire as well as have people trust you and respect you more).
Stop the destructive emotions of anger and resentment which keep you going around in frustrating cycles and start from moving forward with purpose.
Stop being anxious, needy and overly reliant upon other people's opinions and approval of you and start feeling more peace, happiness and a deep sense of being a man who is confident in himself again.
You will become a confident man who knows his values, what he wants and where he’s going in his life.
You will learn how to think, speak and act according to your values without worrying about reactions from others.
You become clear and confident in your ability to create intimacy whenever you want.
Your confidence will be something that you start to rely on and trust in every part of your life.

How does the Men's Roundtable work?

Our Men's Roundtable membership gives you access to 3 live group coaching calls per month hosted by Steve and Dan as well as access to over 5 years of previously recorded group coaching calls, an invitation to our private facebook group, and ongoing assignments and resources to help you grow and develop as a confident masculine man. It's like having a personal coach in your pocket, ready to help whenever you need it.

What's the difference between the 1-to-1 coaching and group coaching?

Firstly, anyone who is in our 1-to-1 coaching program automatically receives access to the Men's Roundtable membership and group coaching for free for life. The difference between 1-to-1 and group coaching is down to the speed of change that you want to happen. With more personal time and attention from your coach, the 1-to-1 program is adapted to your specific circumstances and will provide the practical advice you need to know what to think, say and do to create what you want your future to be.

What kind of man is right for your coaching?

We work with men who are willing to take the lead in creating the changes they want in their life and relationships. We only work with men who want to understand their fears, insecurities and shame triggers. We teach you practical ways to deal with the mental and emotional challenges life throws at you and help you reach an unshakeable confidence in yourself (often for the first time in your life).

You won’t find negative, hateful language.
You won’t find a gender war – we don’t bash women.
You won’t find bitching, whining, complaining, and blaming.
You won’t find a group of men acting like victims.
You won’t find judgment or criticism from others.

We don't waste our time with all those things because we want to take the most efficient and effective path to creating the future you want. So we focus only on the things that are within your control: your thoughts, your words and your actions.

How do I know if I need coaching?

If you are feeling unhappy a lot of the time, if you're lonely, drained, lost, stuck or trapped, then our coaching will help. If you're not sure where your life is headed, if you're not confident in yourself, if you're not sure what you really want in life anymore...our coaching will help.

Whether it’s your job, your intimate relationship, or just wanting to feel more happy and with more purpose, then our coaching will help.

If you are tired of settling for a mediocre life or relationship, tolerating criticism and a lack of fun and intimacy and you're done with placating and playing it safe, then our coaching will help.

We will help you have clarity about what you're REALLY passionate about. We'll get you clear about where you want to be in six months and in six years. We help you figure out what you really want to create vs what other people think you should do.

We help you take action, get unstuck, start moving forward. We help you find what matters instead of just "being busy" in the daily grind. We help you figure out how you're going to get from where you are now to where you want to be.

For many of the guys we work with, they find a peace and a sense of emotional freedom that has them shaking their heads and smiling at how they used to approach life. They feel passionate about life again. They build stronger relationships with the people that matter most to them. They feel satisfied and fulfilled that they have finally found the “right path” forward and life starts to feel fun and inspiring again.

So now you've read that...what do you think? Would YOU like to try some of our coaching for free?

Have questions about your relationship?

Apply for a free, no strings, 90 minute deep dive personalized coaching session to help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you moving toward the future you want. We offer a unique form of Men's Coaching and we attract smart guys who see through surface level hype and bravado. We hide nothing and hold nothing back. We know that everything you want is behind your fear and skepticism…just like it was for us.