How to Convince Your Wife to Commit Again
I’ll be blunt.
Most of the “Save My Marriage” stuff out there will be useless to you.
Why?
Because most of it tells you only WHAT you can do to reconcile your marriage (usually in JUST 3 WEEKS!!).
Like this article title. It’s the first one to pop up when I Google “How to Save My Marriage”.
How to Save Your Marriage: 20 Tips For Healthy Reconciliation
The 20 tips on what to do are not bad tips…it’s just that 99% of the couples reading that article can’t imagine doing even ONE of them.
Why?
Because both people in the relationship are a hot mess of anger, resentment, anxiety, fear and insecurity.
There is no number of TIPS that can help a couple in that condition.
They don’t need to know what do to right now.
They need to learn how to not be hot messes.
If you’re a hot mess when trying any of those 20 tips you’ll look and feel ridiculous. Nobody trusts a hot mess when they’re “trying to be nice” or “trying to communicate better”.
As George Pransky explains in The Relationship Handbook , “communication” is NOT the #1 cause of divorce.
It’s the loss of “connection”.
And the #1 cause of the loss of connection is good old, everyday, garden variety INSECURITY.
Pransky refers to insecurity as the #1 Human Emotional Disease which kills most marriages.
This is why I say, “Brother, I’m not interested in saving your marriage…I first want to help you save yourself.”
- Don’t try to “fix her” with tips.
- Don’t try to make her “love you” with tips.
- Don’t try to “save your marriage with tips.
When you save yourself from all of the insecure thoughts, feelings and stories which haunt you on a daily basis, you’ll feel emotionally stronger and more confident.
You’ll feel a little lighter, less anxious and more compassionate.
When you finally get a grip on the hot mess of thinking induced bullshit in your head, she can finally move toward you…just a little bit.
And THAT is when a few good tips can help you.
First things first. Stop being a hot mess.
And THAT is fully in your wheelhouse, brother.
It had better be…because if it’s not…you’re in real trouble.
More about that in this video.
If you want to know what separates Goodguys2Greatmen from all the other “save your marriage” noise out there…it’s this:
- We only work with MEN…and we understand the real causes of your disconnection with your wife.
- We don’t sugar coat it…and we hold you accountable for your part in the equation. No marriage can be saved with an insecure man at the helm.
- We teach you HOW to become a SECURE, CONFIDENT and HAPPY man…despite what’s happening in your relationship.
- Then we coach you through implementing powerful changes in the way you think, speak and behave.
- Then we teach you how to be a better leader and role model for the changes you want and connection you are craving.
- We won’t promise to save your marriage…but we will promise you’ll be a better, stronger, happier, secure man.
And THAT guy has the best chance to create the relationship he’s always wanted.
What’s the next step for you?
We have been where you are brother and we have options to help guide you toward a better future…
Free: If you’re serious about building your masculine mojo then apply for a coaching call with us we will help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you feeling confident again.
What do I mean by “SERIOUS”?
- We take YOU and your struggles seriously…because we’ve been there
- We know being called needy is serious
- And we know a lack of clarity about how to change it is serious now and for your long term future happiness
- We believe your personal emotional strength and well-being is serious
- We seriously show up 110% to our conversations with you and expect you to be as serious as we are about changing your life
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As Teddy Roosevelt said:
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”
If you’re trying to save your marriage while you’re still a hot mess, you’re starting in the wrong place.
You may want the right words, the right plan, or the perfect way to make her commit again. But if fear is running your mouth and insecurity is steering your choices, she’ll feel that before she hears any tip you try. At Goodguys2Greatmen, we help you become steadier, clearer, and stronger first, so you stop chasing repair from the weakest part of yourself.
Talk to a coach →Q: How do I convince my wife to commit to our marriage again?
A: You convince your wife to commit again by becoming a man she can feel safer trusting, not by throwing marriage tips at her. If you’re anxious, angry, resentful, or needy, even good advice will come out sideways. Start by getting control of your insecurity so your words and actions stop feeling like pressure.
Q: Why don’t marriage tips work when my wife is pulling away?
A: Marriage tips don’t work when your wife is pulling away because the state of the man using them matters more than the tip itself. “Communicate better” sounds good until a scared man uses it to chase reassurance. “Be nicer” sounds good until she can feel the panic behind it. First, stop being the hot mess.
Q: What does Steve mean by “save yourself before saving your marriage”?
A: “Save yourself before saving your marriage” means your first job is to become secure, clear-headed, and emotionally stronger, no matter what she does next. You can’t lead repair from panic. You can’t create trust while begging for it. The man you become is the foundation for any real chance of repair.
Q: Is insecurity really hurting my marriage that much?
A: Yes, insecurity can quietly destroy the connection your marriage needs to survive. It makes you defensive, controlling, needy, reactive, and hard to trust. Your wife may not use the word insecurity, but she can feel it when you’re trying to manage her mood, force certainty, or get love from fear instead of strength.
Q: Should I keep trying to fix my wife so she’ll love me again?
A: No, you should stop trying to fix your wife so she’ll love you again. That move usually comes from fear, and she can feel it. Work on the part you actually control: your thinking, your behavior, your strength, your honesty, and your ability to stay grounded when the marriage feels uncertain.
Q: What if I’m doing all the work and she won’t meet me halfway?
A: If you’re doing all the work and she won’t meet you halfway, don’t turn that into another excuse to become resentful or desperate. You still get to become a better man. You still get to stop living from insecure stories. She may choose what she chooses, but your strength cannot depend on her reaction.
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Apply for a free, no strings, 90 minute deep dive personalized coaching session to help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you moving toward the future you want. We offer a unique form of Men’s Coaching and we attract smart guys who see through surface level hype and bravado. We hide nothing and hold nothing back. We know that everything you want is behind your fear and skepticism…just like it was for us.
More related articles for you:
Failing Marriage? How to Create a Better Relationship – by Dan DoreWhy Your Wife Won’t Give You Affection and What to Do about It
How to Feel More Confident and Strong in Your Marriage
Attracting Your Wife Back – How You Handle Difficult Conversations
The Conversation You’re Avoiding That Can Help Save Your Marriage
