How to Build Trust and Affection in Your Marriage

I want to give you one golden piece of advice today. It’s a top secret tip to make your week go much better.

How do I know this?

Because my clients tell me over and over how EASY it is to totally change the dynamic in their relationship with their wife or girlfriend when they follow my advice.

Just ONE simple shift. Something any man can do but most never will.

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But when you do…miracles happen.

Like this guy who said to this me the other day. (I always get permission to share this stuff, fyi.)

“Our lunch date was amazing!! We talked about her, nothing about me. She was hesitant to let go and really kiss me passionately at first , so I took off both our sunglasses, and looked her in the eyes, and asked her to trust me and let me in. We kissed long and slow!! It was HOT!! I can’t believe this is the same marriage and woman that was ready to leave a few days ago.”

True story. It happens all the time when men make a focused effort to learn things nobody ever told them.

Then comes fearless action.

It about leadership. Leadership of yourself and leadership of the emotional energy you both need to relax and connect like lovers again.

The really big “ah-ha” is in how this causes an exponential shift in your life at work, business, friendships and your bedroom prowess.

YouTube video

In this video I want to give you a real quick tip to help you change your week.

In our mens group meeting this week we talked about how to change the nature of your relationship and how to change the energy in your relationship.

We got onto the topic of complimenting and acknowledging each other.

So I want to talk about the difference between acknowledging your partner for what she does versus acknowledging her for who she is.

To give an example of this, if I was to compliment you, if I was to tell you “Man, you’re so talented, you’re really good with tools, I really admire your practical skills with fixing cars. I’m impressed by the way you make money. I think you’re really good at what you do. You’re so productive and always get so much done.”

That’s complimenting on what you do. It’s complimenting you for skills and things that you know how to do well. It’s complimenting you for knowledge.

An example of complimenting you for who you are would be “You know man, I’ve been watching the way you get stuff done, the way you treat people and the way you show up respecting other people and listening to them. You’re really calm and you’re never rattled, I want to have more of that in my life. I wish I could take a pill to be more like you. I just appreciate your energy. When I’m with you it feels good.”

That’s complimenting for who you are. For your energy. For enjoying being around you because I want to be more like you.

You know, men don’t talk to each other like that. But the second example feels different doesn’t it.

The second compliment doesn’t feel the same as the first one because I’m complimenting you for who you are, for your energy, for enjoying being around you because I want to be more like you.

It’s a compliment about your nature and your character.

And so it’s the same when we’re complimenting women.

When we’re trying to acknowledge women in long term relationships we tend to say “She’s looking good. She’s working out a lot and has lost some weight. She’s really good with the kids. She gets a lot done. She’s really productive and super organized. She keeps everybody on track.” And that’s complimenting her for her skills. For her organizational skills. For losing weight. For her butt looking nice in a pair of jeans.

That’s all well and fine. Women do appreciate being acknowledged for the hard work they do and the things they do for us, but if that’s all they ever hear, they’re going to feel like their value to us is only for what they do or only for what they do for us.

We have to learn how to acknowlegde and feel comfortable acknowledging who she is.

This is uncomfortable for a lot of men. It’s been uncomfortable for me in the past. To look a person in the eye, especially a woman and say “You know, who you are impresses me. I find your sense of humour intoxicating. I like the way you treat people. You make me feel good just by watching you laugh. I love the way your mind works, it’s exciting to talk with you. Your creativity inspires me.”

Have you got the point?

Complimenting a woman for who she is not just what she does, makes all the difference in the world and you have to be authentic with it. You have to tell the truth. You can’t just play this game to get sex or to get her to like you. You have to find the real reason you married her, the real reasonthat you’re dating her or the real reason that you love her.

Find the real reason that you celebrate her and who she is, and say so.

You don’t have to pour in on thick. Find one thing that’s true and say it. Say it as if the sky is blue for you. Don’t make a big deal out of it. Get in the habit of acknowledging her and other people in your life for WHO they are and not just what they DO or just what they do for you.

I guarantee you that this one small piece of advice can change your whole week. I hear it over and over again. One small shift in how you show up can change everything.

My new book Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband will help you to lead yourself and your relationship back to good health. Understand why your partner acts the way she does toward you and learn how to lead your life in the direction you want it to go. You CAN have the relationship you want, fulfilling all your desires while maintaining love and respect.

I wrote a free e-book to help men learn how to lose their fear and be more bold in their marriage to create the love and connection they want. Get The Hard to Swallow Truth About Saving Your Marriage HERE

If you want to learn more about how to take a bigger step toward being a clear-headed, confident man of action, then find out more here. I would be thrilled to help you get there – our first discovery call is always free and always gives you a BIG boost of confidence.

You WILL become a clearer, stronger, more confident man only through other men. Your woman cannot take you there – and she doesn’t WANT to…trust me on that.

Sign up to receive my email newsletters here for lots more free tips and advice.

You can watch all my videos here and read my blog articles here.

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author avatar
Dan Dore Certified Professional Men’s Coach
Dan Dore is a certified professional Men’s Coach specialising in helping men who are struggling and feeling unhappy and unfulfilled i their life and relationships. With over 20,000 hours experience coaching men to completely resolve their self-esteem and confidence issues and improve their ability to create emotional connection, build trust, earn respect, and lead the sexual intimacy and affection in their relationship whenever they want. No more fearing rejection or other people’s opinion of you - I want to help you finally be happy in yourself and trust your ability to create anything you want in your future.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is our coaching right for you?

Our coaching process was created for men who want to feel happier and more fulfilled in their life and relationships. We teach you how to have more confidence and clarity about what you want in your life and create an action plan to start making it happen.

Do you only work with men in marriage?

While our coaching teaches you how to create a more connected, more fun and passionate marriage, we also work with you to have more clarity, enthusiasm and fulfillment in all areas of your life. We help you understand what you really want your future to look like and we also teach you how to be in control of your emotions so that you can be confident and assertive no matter how difficult your circumstances are right now .

What happens in the free 90-minute coaching call?

In our free initial coaching calls, we listen a lot, we ask you questions to understand what life is really like for you at the moment, we help you identify what you want to be different and what's holding you back from creating those changes now. Then we help you create a practical plan of action to start moving forward straight away.

What will I learn in your coaching programs?

We take you through a process to:

  • Stop being tentative and become more focused and directed.
  • Develop control over your thoughts and emotions like never before.
  • Become a master of the masculine and feminine dance required for a more passionate connection in your romantic relationships.
  • Build and sustain your personal masculine confidence so that you don't get "triggered" or feel disrespected and can respond with strength and confidence to any situation.
  • Become more connected, aware and present with everyone (this is a critical step in your ability to build attraction and desire as well as have people trust you and respect you more).
  • Stop the destructive emotions of anger and resentment which keep you going around in frustrating cycles and start from moving forward with purpose.
  • Stop being anxious, needy and overly reliant upon other people's opinions and approval of you and start feeling more peace, happiness and a deep sense of being a man who is confident in himself again.
  • You will become a confident man who knows his values, what he wants and where he’s going in his life.
  • You will learn how to think, speak and act according to your values without worrying about reactions from others.
  • You become clear and confident in your ability to create intimacy whenever you want.
  • Your confidence will be something that you start to rely on and trust in every part of your life.

How does the Men's Roundtable work?

Our Men's Roundtable membership gives you access to 3 live group coaching calls per month hosted by Steve and Dan as well as access to over 5 years of previously recorded group coaching calls, an invitation to our private facebook group, and ongoing assignments and resources to help you grow and develop as a confident masculine man. It's like having a personal coach in your pocket, ready to help whenever you need it.

What's the difference between the 1-to-1 coaching and group coaching?

Firstly, anyone who is in our 1-to-1 coaching program automatically receives access to the Men's Roundtable membership and group coaching for free for life. The difference between 1-to-1 and group coaching is down to the speed of change that you want to happen. With more personal time and attention from your coach, the 1-to-1 program is adapted to your specific circumstances and will provide the practical advice you need to know what to think, say and do to create what you want your future to be.

What kind of man is right for your coaching?

We work with men who are willing to take the lead in creating the changes they want in their life and relationships. We only work with men who want to understand their fears, insecurities and shame triggers. We teach you practical ways to deal with the mental and emotional challenges life throws at you and help you reach an unshakeable confidence in yourself (often for the first time in your life).

  • You won’t find negative, hateful language.
  • You won’t find a gender war – we don’t bash women.
  • You won’t find bitching, whining, complaining, and blaming.
  • You won’t find a group of men acting like victims.
  • You won’t find judgment or criticism from others.

We don't waste our time with all those things because we want to take the most efficient and effective path to creating the future you want. So we focus only on the things that are within your control: your thoughts, your words and your actions.

How do I know if I need coaching?

If you are feeling unhappy a lot of the time, if you're lonely, drained, lost, stuck or trapped, then our coaching will help. If you're not sure where your life is headed, if you're not confident in yourself, if you're not sure what you really want in life anymore...our coaching will help.

Whether it’s your job, your intimate relationship, or just wanting to feel more happy and with more purpose, then our coaching will help.

If you are tired of settling for a mediocre life or relationship, tolerating criticism and a lack of fun and intimacy and you're done with placating and playing it safe, then our coaching will help.

We will help you have clarity about what you're REALLY passionate about. We'll get you clear about where you want to be in six months and in six years. We help you figure out what you really want to create vs what other people think you should do.

We help you take action, get unstuck, start moving forward. We help you find what matters instead of just "being busy" in the daily grind. We help you figure out how you're going to get from where you are now to where you want to be.

For many of the guys we work with, they find a peace and a sense of emotional freedom that has them shaking their heads and smiling at how they used to approach life. They feel passionate about life again. They build stronger relationships with the people that matter most to them. They feel satisfied and fulfilled that they have finally found the “right path” forward and life starts to feel fun and inspiring again.

So now you've read that...what do you think? Would YOU like to try some of our coaching for free?

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

This is the secret your dad never told you about – You have more power than you know.

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