Why Your Wife Won’t Touch You The Way You Want To Be Touched

Are you struggling trying to work out why your wife won’t touch you the way you want to be touched? Maybe you’re in a marriage where she’s keeping her distance but you want more than just living as roommates.

There’s something a woman can do with her finger that can send a man right to heaven.

It may not be what you’re thinking right now.

It’s better.

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You know it and I know it. And women will think I’m a liar.

You know that feeling when a woman spontaneously strokes the back of your neck?

Then she slowly carves out a pattern on the back of your head…gently scratching your scalp.

She’s gazing at you and saying nothing in particular. She’s just there with you – touching you – because she wants to.

Maybe she smiles. Then maybe she holds your hand for a while.

Phew!

I know! Add a little slow music and we’ve got us our own kind of romance novel, don’t we?

I tend to work with guys who have a hidden and hopeless romantic streak in them. Guys who crave deeper connections, more vulnerable conversations and more sensual touching with their partner.

In other words, guys like me.

We make women nervous with this stuff. If we’re bold enough to tell them what we want.

Have you ever been totally open with a woman about what you like and what you want?

Sometimes this boldness can cause the opposite reaction from her than you were expecting.

Has this ever happened to you?

Me too. And I’ve figured out what that stuff is all about.

I explain some of it for you in this video.

YouTube video

In this video I talk about tough guys like you and me. Guys who love the outdoors and building stuff and achieving what we want.

But we’re not so tough are we.

We’re successful, accomplished, good with our hands, good and fixing stuff and getting things done – but the one thing that we hold as a secret, is this thing about touch.

We like to be touched.

If you ever watch the way that a guy like you and I will touch a horse, we are real gentle with it as we scratch it’s face and nose.

If you see a guy touching a dog or a family pet with a gentle loving caress, you’ll know that deep down, he is craving to be touched like that.

And that’s a secret that women don’t know about us.

Why can’t they se that we have this softer side? That we really appreciate being stroked and being handled gently and being taken care of just like they do.

Why do women push us away? Why do they tell us that they don’t want to do that or that they don’t feel that way about us?

The thing I can’t tell you in this article is why the woman in your life doesn’t want to touch you that way. At least I can’t tell you exactly why unless I get to talk to you.

But I can tell you that there are some common things that I hear all the time. And when you get to the bottom of these things, sometimes you can make some changes in yourself and make some changes in your relationship to change the dynamic in the way that you can get your need for touch satisfied.

Some of the things women say are:

“I’m not a touchy person”

“My family has never been a huggy kind of family”

“I’m just not that kind of person”

“I don’t trust you”

“The things you’ve done to me over the years have made me feel cold towards you and I just don’t feel attracted to you”

“You know I love you but I don’t feel in love with you anymore”

Some of the other reasons that a woman won’t touch you are because she doesn’t like herself too much and she doesn’t feel lovable. So as you want to try to touch her and invite her to touch you back, she’s not feeling it, she doesn’t feel like she’s worthy of that kind of affection.

So when us tough guys try to push the boundaries and try to explain our needs about how we want to touch and how we want to be touched, the whole subject can really piss a woman off, make her angry and cry at the same time. It can cause all these reactions and emotional outbreaks that we get.

So the thing that I help men with is this whole idea of how you approach this sensitive topic?

The fact that you are a romantic man.

That you are a sensitive, caring, compassionate, sensual, romantic man.

That you want to feel touch.

That’s the conversation I’d like to have with you.

It’s different for every man and it’s different for every relationship, but when you get to the bottom of this conversation, it comes down to being brave enough to admit – even though you’re a tough guy – that you like touch.

Then you have to get clear on why, when she’s not touching you.

It’s not a personal attack on you.

You have to calm your mind, slow your breathing, slow your heart rate down and not get all complainy and whiny and sarcastic about it (which was my old tactic).

You have to take a whole different approach to communicate your needs and to help her feel safer in touching you the way you want to be touched.

Sometimes us tough guys have to speak up and ask for what we want, BUT you have to do it the right way.

If you are finding yourself in a situation where you’re not getting anything you want from your relationship, there are things you can do.

I want to help you with this.

Instead of arguing, complaining or whining about it, there is a whole new perspective you can take and it will change things up for you.

The one thing that will guarantee your life will never change is if YOU never change.

And the first change you need to make is actually asking for help and learning things our dads NEVER TOLD US!

Contact me – I want to hear your story and give you support to help you change the path you’re on now.

The very FASTEST way to change the way you’re thinking and find your confidence again is to join other men doing the same thing.

Here are some options for you to join us and start creating a whole new reality for yourself:

The Men’s Live Coaching Roundtable is a powerful collection of men from around the world working together to transform themselves and their relationships. Dan Dore and I lead this community with 5 other professional coaches. We have live coaching video calls twice per month. The camaraderie in this group is something missing from the lives of too many men in the world.

Our online course How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a deep and intense dive into handling yourself when you hear, “I love you but I’m not in love with you anymore.” Tim Wade and I host monthly live Q&A calls with all the students in this course which includes many other bonuses as well. Find out more here.

We love teaching men these tools – how to be better, how to know who you are, what you stand for, what you want and how to CREATE it in your life through our Masculine Confidence coaching programs.

If you want to become a man who knows and trusts himself to create the life and love he wants, apply for a free 90 minute consultation call I guarantee you’ll feel a whole lot better by the end of our talk.

Frequently Asked Questions


Is our coaching right for you?

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While our coaching teaches you how to create a more connected, more fun and passionate marriage, we also work with you to have more clarity, enthusiasm and fulfillment in all areas of your life. We help you understand what you really want your future to look like and we also teach you how to be in control of your emotions so that you can be confident and assertive no matter how difficult your circumstances are right now .

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What will I learn in your coaching programs?

We take you through a process to:

  • Stop being tentative and become more focused and directed.
  • Develop control over your thoughts and emotions like never before.
  • Become a master of the masculine and feminine dance required for a more passionate connection in your romantic relationships.
  • Build and sustain your personal masculine confidence so that you don't get "triggered" or feel disrespected and can respond with strength and confidence to any situation.
  • Become more connected, aware and present with everyone (this is a critical step in your ability to build attraction and desire as well as have people trust you and respect you more).
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  • Stop being anxious, needy and overly reliant upon other people's opinions and approval of you and start feeling more peace, happiness and a deep sense of being a man who is confident in himself again.
  • You will become a confident man who knows his values, what he wants and where he’s going in his life.
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How does the Men's Roundtable work?

Our Men's Roundtable membership gives you access to 3 live group coaching calls per month hosted by Steve and Dan as well as access to over 5 years of previously recorded group coaching calls, an invitation to our private facebook group, and ongoing assignments and resources to help you grow and develop as a confident masculine man. It's like having a personal coach in your pocket, ready to help whenever you need it.

What's the difference between the 1-to-1 coaching and group coaching?

Firstly, anyone who is in our 1-to-1 coaching program automatically receives access to the Men's Roundtable membership and group coaching for free for life. The difference between 1-to-1 and group coaching is down to the speed of change that you want to happen. With more personal time and attention from your coach, the 1-to-1 program is adapted to your specific circumstances and will provide the practical advice you need to know what to think, say and do to create what you want your future to be.

What kind of man is right for your coaching?

We work with men who are willing to take the lead in creating the changes they want in their life and relationships. We only work with men who want to understand their fears, insecurities and shame triggers. We teach you practical ways to deal with the mental and emotional challenges life throws at you and help you reach an unshakeable confidence in yourself (often for the first time in your life).

  • You won’t find negative, hateful language.
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  • You won’t find judgment or criticism from others.

We don't waste our time with all those things because we want to take the most efficient and effective path to creating the future you want. So we focus only on the things that are within your control: your thoughts, your words and your actions.

How do I know if I need coaching?

If you are feeling unhappy a lot of the time, if you're lonely, drained, lost, stuck or trapped, then our coaching will help. If you're not sure where your life is headed, if you're not confident in yourself, if you're not sure what you really want in life anymore...our coaching will help.

Whether it’s your job, your intimate relationship, or just wanting to feel more happy and with more purpose, then our coaching will help.

If you are tired of settling for a mediocre life or relationship, tolerating criticism and a lack of fun and intimacy and you're done with placating and playing it safe, then our coaching will help.

We will help you have clarity about what you're REALLY passionate about. We'll get you clear about where you want to be in six months and in six years. We help you figure out what you really want to create vs what other people think you should do.

We help you take action, get unstuck, start moving forward. We help you find what matters instead of just "being busy" in the daily grind. We help you figure out how you're going to get from where you are now to where you want to be.

For many of the guys we work with, they find a peace and a sense of emotional freedom that has them shaking their heads and smiling at how they used to approach life. They feel passionate about life again. They build stronger relationships with the people that matter most to them. They feel satisfied and fulfilled that they have finally found the “right path” forward and life starts to feel fun and inspiring again.

So now you've read that...what do you think? Would YOU like to try some of our coaching for free?

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

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