Are you struggling trying to work out why your wife won’t touch you the way you want to be touched? Maybe you’re in a marriage where she’s keeping her distance but you want more than just living as roommates.
There’s something a woman can do with her finger that can send a man right to heaven.
It may not be what you’re thinking right now.
You know it and I know it. And women will think I’m a liar.
You know that feeling when a woman spontaneously strokes the back of your neck?
Then she slowly carves out a pattern on the back of your head…gently scratching your scalp.
She’s gazing at you and saying nothing in particular. She’s just there with you – touching you – because she wants to.
Maybe she smiles. Then maybe she holds your hand for a while.
I know! Add a little slow music and we’ve got us our own kind of romance novel, don’t we?
I tend to work with guys who have a hidden and hopeless romantic streak in them. Guys who crave deeper connections, more vulnerable conversations and more sensual touching with their partner.
In other words, guys like me.
We make women nervous with this stuff. If we’re bold enough to tell them what we want.
Have you ever been totally open with a woman about what you like and what you want?
Sometimes this boldness can cause the opposite reaction from her than you were expecting.
Has this ever happened to you?
Me too. And I’ve figured out what that stuff is all about.
I explain some of it for you in this video.
In this video I talk about tough guys like you and me. Guys who love the outdoors and building stuff and achieving what we want.
But we’re not so tough are we.
We’re successful, accomplished, good with our hands, good and fixing stuff and getting things done – but the one thing that we hold as a secret, is this thing about touch.
We like to be touched.
If you ever watch the way that a guy like you and I will touch a horse, we are real gentle with it as we scratch it’s face and nose.
If you see a guy touching a dog or a family pet with a gentle loving caress, you’ll know that deep down, he is craving to be touched like that.
And that’s a secret that women don’t know about us.
Why can’t they se that we have this softer side? That we really appreciate being stroked and being handled gently and being taken care of just like they do.
Why do women push us away? Why do they tell us that they don’t want to do that or that they don’t feel that way about us?
The thing I can’t tell you in this article is why the woman in your life doesn’t want to touch you that way. At least I can’t tell you exactly why unless I get to talk to you.
But I can tell you that there are some common things that I hear all the time. And when you get to the bottom of these things, sometimes you can make some changes in yourself and make some changes in your relationship to change the dynamic in the way that you can get your need for touch satisfied.
Some of the things women say are:
“I’m not a touchy person”
“My family has never been a huggy kind of family”
“I’m just not that kind of person”
“I don’t trust you”
“The things you’ve done to me over the years have made me feel cold towards you and I just don’t feel attracted to you”
“You know I love you but I don’t feel in love with you anymore”
Some of the other reasons that a woman won’t touch you are because she doesn’t like herself too much and she doesn’t feel lovable. So as you want to try to touch her and invite her to touch you back, she’s not feeling it, she doesn’t feel like she’s worthy of that kind of affection.
So when us tough guys try to push the boundaries and try to explain our needs about how we want to touch and how we want to be touched, the whole subject can really piss a woman off, make her angry and cry at the same time. It can cause all these reactions and emotional outbreaks that we get.
So the thing that I help men with is this whole idea of how you approach this sensitive topic?
The fact that you are a romantic man.
That you are a sensitive, caring, compassionate, sensual, romantic man.
That you want to feel touch.
That’s the conversation I’d like to have with you.
It’s different for every man and it’s different for every relationship, but when you get to the bottom of this conversation, it comes down to being brave enough to admit – even though you’re a tough guy – that you like touch.
Then you have to get clear on why, when she’s not touching you.
It’s not a personal attack on you.
You have to calm your mind, slow your breathing, slow your heart rate down and not get all complainy and whiny and sarcastic about it (which was my old tactic).
You have to take a whole different approach to communicate your needs and to help her feel safer in touching you the way you want to be touched.
Sometimes us tough guys have to speak up and ask for what we want, BUT you have to do it the right way.
If you are finding yourself in a situation where you’re not getting anything you want from your relationship, there are things you can do.
I want to help you with this.
Instead of arguing, complaining or whining about it, there is a whole new perspective you can take and it will change things up for you.
The one thing that will guarantee your life will never change is if YOU never change.
And the first change you need to make is actually asking for help and learning things our dads NEVER TOLD US!
Contact me – I want to hear your story and give you support to help you change the path you’re on now.
The very FASTEST way to change the way you’re thinking and find your confidence again is to join other men doing the same thing.
Here are some options for you to join us and start creating a whole new reality for yourself:
The Men’s Live Coaching Roundtable is a powerful collection of men from around the world working together to transform themselves and their relationships. Dan Dore and I lead this community with 5 other professional coaches. We have live coaching video calls twice per month. The camaraderie in this group is something missing from the lives of too many men in the world.
Our online course How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a deep and intense dive into handling yourself when you hear, “I love you but I’m not in love with you anymore.” Tim Wade and I host monthly live Q&A calls with all the students in this course which includes many other bonuses as well. Find out more here.
We love teaching men these tools – how to be better, how to know who you are, what you stand for, what you want and how to CREATE it in your life through our Masculine Confidence coaching programs.
If you want to become a man who knows and trusts himself to create the life and love he wants, apply for a free 90 minute consultation call I guarantee you’ll feel a whole lot better by the end of our talk.