How to Use High Libido Without Pushing Her Away
I like to get real about what really goes on with us guys when it comes to managing our sex drive and our relationships.
We get dozens of applications for consultations each month.
Guess what the #1 answer is to the question: “What do you most want in the next 6 months?”
It usually sounds a bit like this.
“I want to reconnect with my wife and feel more trust, respect and affection. I want her to look at me like she used to. Aaaaand I really want a lot more sex with her.”
I said exactly the same thing when I was in those shoes. Who doesn’t want more of everything?
The mistake most of us make when it comes to our throbbing libido is to believe that “more sex” is the ultimate solution to the failing relationship.
In this video I go into more depth about sexual energy and how happy, healthy and sexually satisfied men THINK about it.
Don’t get me wrong here.
I am not telling you that you must subjugate your sexual desire.
And I’m not telling you that you need to somehow get used to less sex or even a “sexless marriage”.
I’m telling you that the #1 cause of most married guys’ waning sex life is their incessant, unregulated and immature response to their biological urge to have sex.
It’s simple.
The more desperate and needy we become around our sexual desire the more we sabotage the process of creating a real, healthy sexual connection.
Sure, there are many other factors that can come into play.
Health issues, pain, menopause, emotional blocks and psychological trauma are a few.
But with most otherwise healthy couples, the health of the sexual relationship is greatly affected by the man’s healthy relationship with his sexuality.
Want it. But don’t need it.
Pursue sexual connection. Don’t coerce or manipulate it.
Enjoy feeling turned on without always making it lead to intercourse.
Blue balls (epididymal hypertension) is a thing, but it’s related to extended periods of arousal and most common in adolescent men.
Mature men who complain of the pain of blue balls have a thinking problem, not a biological problem.
Channeling Your Sexual Energy in More Attractive Ways
You could Google “Sexual Transmutation” and choke yourself on the volume of information available.
Let me make it clear, simple and actionable to save you some time.
Your nuclear reactor of sexual energy is a limitless source of productive, inventive and creative power.
So, use it accordingly.
Use it consciously to pursue a new job, to learn a new skill, to write that book you’re thinking about.
Use your sexual energy to propel you into a passion you’ve always wanted to pursue.
Use it to keep in shape. Use it to plan amazing play days with your kids.
Use it to overcome your fear of taking risks – and go f*ck those risks!
Bottom Line: When you intentionally channel your sexual energy in mindful and mature ways you will begin to live the kind of life that will make you INFINITELY MORE ATTRACTIVE. It’s always THAT guy who has a better sex life.
Every hour of every single day there are men in our community working on this stuff and more.
The road trip from “good guy” to “great man” is a well traveled path and there is SO MUCH you need to know.
And as soon as you start knowing the things you didn’t know before, you will begin to be more conscious in USING THAT KNOWLEDGE to change your life.
Within just a few weeks this new knowledge starts lowering your blood pressure. You sleep better. You get your appetite back.
And you stop getting triggered and over-reacting to everything…
especially the triggers of sexual frustration and sexual rejection!
Let me make something else super clear.
I want you to experience the power of this Goodguys2Greatmen community. It will change your life forever.
You’re smart, strong, caring, sensitive and successful. But guys like you seldom seek the friendship and wisdom of other men. (I know from personal experience)
Too risky? Too weird? Too embarrassed to admit you want help?
That describes all of us, brother. Time to take a risk
Use the power of your morning libido to do something new.
Ask for a long, powerful consultation with an incredible GG2GM coach.
We have been where you are brother and we have options to help guide you toward a better future…
Free: If you’re serious about building your masculine mojo then apply for a coaching call with us we will help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you feeling confident again.
What do I mean by “SERIOUS”?
- We take YOU and your struggles seriously…because we’ve been there
- We know being called needy is serious
- And we know a lack of clarity about how to change it is serious now and for your long term future happiness
- We believe your personal emotional strength and well-being is serious
- We seriously show up 110% to our conversations with you and expect you to be as serious as we are about changing your life
Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity
$69 Monthly Subscription: Join Dan and I in our Men’s Roundtable Group Coaching membership. We meet three times per month for live group coaching and we support you in a powerful group of men facing the same issues you are. Get instant access to 6 years of recorded sessions. Try it for one month. What have you got to lose?
$497 One-Time Payment: How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a self-paced course with me, Tim Wade, and a community of men learning how to lead when you’ve just heard, “I love you but I’m not in love with you” or “I want to separate or divorce.”
As Teddy Roosevelt said:
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”
If sexual frustration keeps turning you into a needy man, it’s time to use that energy differently.
You may want your wife badly and still be making it harder for her to want you back. When sex becomes proof of your value, rejection starts running your mouth, your mood, and your marriage. At Goodguys2Greatmen, we’ll help you become the man who can feel desire without letting it make him desperate.
Talk to a coach →Q: How do I use a high libido without pushing my wife away?
A: You use a high libido well by wanting sex without needing sex to feel okay about yourself. Desire becomes attractive when it comes from confidence, play, and strength. It becomes repelling when it turns into pressure, resentment, or a demand that your wife fix your mood with her body.
Q: Is my high libido hurting my marriage?
A: Your high libido may be hurting your marriage if your response to it makes you needy, moody, pushy, or resentful. Wanting your wife is not the problem. Acting like sex is the only thing that proves love, respect, or connection can make her feel like an object instead of a woman.
Q: What does “want it, but don’t need it” mean with sex?
A: “Want it, but don’t need it” means you can desire your wife fully without making sex the test of your worth. You can pursue, flirt, and enjoy being turned on without turning every moment into a demand for intercourse. That kind of man feels stronger, freer, and far more attractive.
Q: What should I do when my wife rejects sex?
A: When your wife rejects sex, steady yourself before you react from shame or frustration. Don’t punish her, sulk, argue, or make her responsible for your discomfort. Take the energy you feel and use it somewhere powerful. Train, work, create, lead, play with your kids, or take a bold step you’ve been avoiding.
Q: Is blue balls a real reason to pressure my wife for sex?
A: Blue balls is not a good reason to pressure your wife for sex. Physical discomfort can happen after long arousal, but a grown man still owns his choices and his attitude. If you turn discomfort into a complaint, accusation, or guilt trip, you’re showing her immaturity, not desire.
Q: How can sexual energy make me more attractive?
A: Sexual energy makes you more attractive when you use it to build a life you respect. Put that fire into your body, work, creativity, courage, fatherhood, and purpose. A man who channels desire into strength becomes more alive. That man usually creates a much better sexual connection than the man begging for release.
Author 
Have questions about your relationship?
Apply for a free, no strings, 90 minute deep dive personalized coaching session to help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you moving toward the future you want. We offer a unique form of Men’s Coaching and we attract smart guys who see through surface level hype and bravado. We hide nothing and hold nothing back. We know that everything you want is behind your fear and skepticism…just like it was for us.
