Wife Doesn’t Want Sex Anymore? What Can You Do?

Wife doesn’t want sex anymore? Trying hard to make her happy? Find out what works and what doesn’t to create attraction and passion with her again…

Can you relate to these traits of what I call the “hummingbird husband”? I can.

Hummingbirds are nervous little fellers. Uncertain and twitchy.

They don’t trust anyone or anything. Always questioning.

Anxious as hell hovering for their turn at the feeder.

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And with a flying heart rate around 1000 beats per minute I wonder why they just don’t explode in mid-air.

Can you relate? I can.

The Guaranteed Libido Killer

I’m a leading authority on the hummingbird husband. I was one for many years and I can now spot it easily in the men I work with. It’s a syndrome that’s sure to leave you feeling agitated with yourself.

And it’s a guaranteed libido killer in all wives. One hundred percent of them. Did I mention I’m an expert?

We’re not bad husbands. We’re actually really super guys. A little “overly involved” perhaps, but we mean well…maybe.

We’re just being attentive. Possibly too attentive.

But we just want to know what’s going on. We want to know what she’s doing, where she’s going, who she’s talking to, who she’s texting.

We want to know what she’s buying, why she needs it, why is she late and how could she possibly not know she was driving on a flat tire. Doesn’t she know that will ruin a tire?

Hummingbird husbands ask lots of questions. Rarely simple statements. Rapid fire innocent inquiries are our specialty.

It’s exhausting for both of us.

And here’s our dirty little secret about our overwhelming concern for her well-being.

When we keep asking:

“Are you okay? What’s the matter? Did I do something wrong? Why are you mad? How are you doing?”

…what we’re really asking is “Am I okay?”

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Am I Okay? Am I Okay? Am I Okay?

When I was in my hovering days, this was the underlying question behind most of my questions.

Am I okay? Are we okay? Do you still love me? Do you still want me?

It’s embarrassing as hell to admit I was that guy for some time. I sought continual reassurance that everything was okay. That I would be okay.

Insecurity sucks. And it’s magnified about 100 times toward the end of a marriage. It’ll eat a man alive.

I was a typical hummingbird husband. To the outside world I was a model of calmness and stability. At work and social situations I was Mr. Cool. It was not an act. I really was Mr. Cool.

But I could never figure out where Mr. Cool went when I was in my own house.

Like I said, insecurity sucks. And it seems to be most triggered in our romantic relationships – inside our own home.

Yeah, I’m Okay

If you can relate to any part of the hummingbird husband’s story, I want you to know one important fact. Do not doubt me on this. Remember, I am a leading authority.

You’re okay.

Really, you are. All of that blabbering, hovering and interrogating is just a little self-doubt.

Your overactive mind and anxious heart is just a matter of a little self-esteem recalibration.

While I am definitely not an expert on male insecurity or the underlying baggage causing it, I do know this. You have the power of choice.

I’ve witnessed too many men simply choose to stop with the hummingbird act and adopt a healthier perspective of themselves and their lives. They did enough introspection and inner work to allow themselves to experience an epiphany. A BFO (Blinding Flash of the Obvious).

It sounds like,

“My wife and my marriage are not and have never been the source – or the measure – of my value. I’m okay, dammit. I’m okay!”
When these guys decided to change their operating system, it was like moving their mojo setting from hummingbird to mountain lion. They embraced a whole new demeanor. It’s best described as a calm, deliberate and pleased energy.

It’s not an act. They really are a mountain lion.

They feel cool headed, secure, regal, aware, curious, playful, loving, protective, brave, sensitive and caring.

You may find them on a high rock casually flipping their tail and letting out a huge yawn before taking a nap in the sun.

No more doubts. No more questions. Heart rate – 40.

From that vantage point, anything is possible.

If you want to learn more about how to be comfortable, confident and peaceful in your own skin, I’d love to help show you the way. Get started today, here’s your first step…

Go HERE to apply for a Free “No More Hummingbird” coaching call to learn exactly how you can start changing things tomorrow.

The Men’s Live Coaching Roundtable is a powerful collection of men from around the world working together to transform themselves and their relationships. Steve and Dan lead this community with 9 other professional coaches. We have live coaching video calls three times per month. The camaraderie in this group is something missing from the lives of too many men in the world.

Our online course How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a deep and intense dive into handling yourself when you hear, “I love you but I’m not in love with you anymore.” Tim Wade and Steve host monthly live Q&A calls with all the students in this course which includes many other bonuses as well. Find out more here.

We love teaching men these tools – how to be better, how to know who you are, what you stand for, what you want and how to CREATE it in your life through our Masculine Confidence coaching programs.

author avatar
Dan Dore Certified Professional Men’s Coach
Dan Dore is a certified professional Men’s Coach specialising in helping men who are struggling and feeling unhappy and unfulfilled i their life and relationships. With over 20,000 hours experience coaching men to completely resolve their self-esteem and confidence issues and improve their ability to create emotional connection, build trust, earn respect, and lead the sexual intimacy and affection in their relationship whenever they want. No more fearing rejection or other people’s opinion of you - I want to help you finally be happy in yourself and trust your ability to create anything you want in your future.

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While our coaching teaches you how to create a more connected, more fun and passionate marriage, we also work with you to have more clarity, enthusiasm and fulfillment in all areas of your life. We help you understand what you really want your future to look like and we also teach you how to be in control of your emotions so that you can be confident and assertive no matter how difficult your circumstances are right now .

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What kind of man is right for your coaching?

We work with men who are willing to take the lead in creating the changes they want in their life and relationships. We only work with men who want to understand their fears, insecurities and shame triggers. We teach you practical ways to deal with the mental and emotional challenges life throws at you and help you reach an unshakeable confidence in yourself (often for the first time in your life).

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We don't waste our time with all those things because we want to take the most efficient and effective path to creating the future you want. So we focus only on the things that are within your control: your thoughts, your words and your actions.

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If you are feeling unhappy a lot of the time, if you're lonely, drained, lost, stuck or trapped, then our coaching will help. If you're not sure where your life is headed, if you're not confident in yourself, if you're not sure what you really want in life anymore...our coaching will help.

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For many of the guys we work with, they find a peace and a sense of emotional freedom that has them shaking their heads and smiling at how they used to approach life. They feel passionate about life again. They build stronger relationships with the people that matter most to them. They feel satisfied and fulfilled that they have finally found the “right path” forward and life starts to feel fun and inspiring again.

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The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

This is the secret your dad never told you about – You have more power than you know.

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