Comments

A Man’s Job: Creating Emotional Safety! — 3 Comments

  1. Hey Steve, interesting thoughts.
    I totally agree a partnerdhip is a learning experience and we have responsibilities on both sides to move towards stability and understanding. Without question, a guy’s words should always have the right intent and respect.

    Though in my coaching experience, I’d have to disagree with the fact that women have this inate ability to understand a man’s intentions – as human beings, we are all tainted with historical experiences that cloud and confuse our judgement. They only ‘think’ they can and most times get it all wrong – the better course is to always be truthful and open and at least that then allows a woman to build on a framework of honesty.

    Thoughts?

    P.S So many posts that have comments disabled too, my friend.

    • Hi Martin,

      Thanks for the heads up on my disabled comments issue. Will fix pronto! I SO appreciate your helpful feedback there!

      I see what you’re getting at with your assessment on the “innate understanding” premise. I don’t mean to imply that women are mind readers and that men should rely on that for communication. My message to men is that when they are speaking, responding, or even moving through the house, they have an energy that can be perceived as accepting, supporting, respecting VS. judging, disappointing, or disrespectful. It is in their tone, their choice of words, their body language, and even the way they close a car door. If there has been any recent bad feelings/conflict (historical experiences), this is even more important for a man to pay attention to. Many of my clients have a history of helping to create bad feelings and are on the path to doing better.

      I believe a woman will trust the honesty of a man’s apparent intentions much more than his words PARTICULARLY when he is trying to rebuild a strained relationship with trust and respect issues. And I do believe in this case that they pay extremely close attention to each and every move he makes. Just like a horse is constantly monitoring it’s environment and the energy around them. I’ve learned that most women possess this trait far more than most men.

      I couldn’t agree more with you that both partners will judge each based on tainted history and have a responsibility to “let it go” so they can focus on moving forward with more accepting and displaying more productive relationship behaviors.

      Of course, in a healthy trusting relationship they both are enjoying rewarding conversations and authentic exchanges of thoughts and feelings without judgment. What a place to be, isn’t it?

      • Ahh gotcha Steve.
        I misunderstood the words of the post, mate. Actions speak louder than words – make them consistent and habitable good actions and both men and women will be far more harmonious.

        Yep, I have both men and women clients – this applies to both, equally 🙂