Chemistry With Your Wife Or Friendship?

I know you want chemistry with your wife, as well as connection, companionship and friendship. But what if your wife has become your only real friend?

There’s this big ass, 185,000 acre, Cameron Peak fire which has been chasing us all around Colorado. While I’m back home now, my good friends 30 miles south of me have been evacuated and are staying at my place.

It’s really good to have good friendships

How did this fire inspire this article?

Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity >>

In TWO ways.

1st, it’s about having FRIENDS.

Many, many men tell us they have reached the ripe age of 40-ish and, while they have an active work and family life, they have ZERO FRIENDS of the male persuasion.

They are “friendly” men who sometimes claim to be “people persons” but aren’t sure why they have let all of their past friendships die. And they aren’t sure how to develop new friends. They have work, kids and wife duties…but no friends.

It’s especially obvious when we start having relationship or marriage problems that the lack of high-quality male companionship becomes so obvious and scary.

Here’s a difficult realization.

In my case, I was a good “people person” who really wasn’t a very good “friend”.

I would wait for people to reach out…to call me… to invite me…to want to be my friend. Even after we would connect I would always wait for THEM to initiate contact.

I sucked as a friend. I was mostly distracted, self-absorbed and dismissive about the chemistry required for true friendship.

Only later in life did I really become aware of how important it is to send the first email, make the first call and extend the first invitation. I’m still work in progress on that front.

It’s like any skill. It must be practiced. And then you must be consistent. Coach Dennis Collins in my coaching team is one of the best I’ve ever seen at this. He’s so mindful and action-oriented in friendship. As a result, he’s got tons of close friends.

Who is ONE MAN you know who would love to hear from you this weekend? I humbly suggest you reach out and begin a new season of consistency in being a “good friend”.

2nd, It’s About How Sparks Make BIG Fires

These wildfires always start with a small spark, or sometimes, a big spark of lightning. But it’s always just a little bitty action that gets it going. And like a wicked cancer it slowly multiplies the sparks and then it grows to proportions nobody imagined possible.

We often think that only bad stuff like fire and cancer behave like this.

My insight from the fire is that GOOD STUFF behaves the same way!

For every single man who “does the work” we offer, he finds that his calm, confident, patient sense of well-being and contentment grows steadily.

It’s a wildfire of truth. And that feels really good. One guy in our How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb Facebook group said it this way recently:

“Last night I dreamed I was cycling on a woodland path and facing a huge … almost insurmountable… slope. I looked at my feet, kept peddling and although moving slowly… I was able to cycle UP the slope and reach level ground!! I think that was an accurate description of what I have been doing.”

I want this feeling for you and every man. It’s the feeling of having the most important breakthrough in your life. It’s level ground.

Whatever You’re Facing Right Now Is Surmountable With Slow, Consistent Focus On The RIGHT THOUGHTS And RIGHT ACTIONS.

Chemistry With Your Wife Comes From Your “Spark”

Our expertise is in helping you learn HOW to think and HOW to act in ways that quickly transform your “insides” so you can realize the “outside” life you really want. A life that gives you “spark”.

We do this one man at a time and one day at a time. And before you know…you’ve reached the top.

Becoming the man you want to be starts with a small spark of insight and effort with supportive male friends. That spark is fanned with the flames of self-confidence. Your confidence becomes rooted in a crystal clear declaration of who you are, what you believe, what you want and where you’re going. THOSE behaviors also ignite chemistry with your wife! (as a bonus).

When you’re ready to take your first step, let’s have a looong conversation. Everything good in life starts with a really good conversation. You can submit our Contact Form. This will start the process of connecting with me or one of our certified coaches and having a really good conversation.

author avatar
Steve Horsmon Certified Professional Men’s Coach
Steve Horsmon is a Certified Professional Life Coach and owner of Goodguys2Greatmen Relationship Coaching in Livermore, Colorado. He has appeared on well known coachign and psychology television, radio, youtube, and podcast channels related to maintaining healthy relationships. Steve provides intensely personal, action oriented coaching services for men through 1-on-1 coaching, private retreats and workshops designed to give men new knowledge, skills and mindset to achieve their relationship goals. He is a committed, lifelong mentor who teaches his clients to discover their masculine power, take bold action and create the life they want. He has written articles and guest blogs for numerous relationship and expert websites.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is our coaching right for you?

Our coaching process was created for men who want to feel happier and more fulfilled in their life and relationships. We teach you how to have more confidence and clarity about what you want in your life and create an action plan to start making it happen.

Do you only work with men in marriage?

While our coaching teaches you how to create a more connected, more fun and passionate marriage, we also work with you to have more clarity, enthusiasm and fulfillment in all areas of your life. We help you understand what you really want your future to look like and we also teach you how to be in control of your emotions so that you can be confident and assertive no matter how difficult your circumstances are right now .

What happens in the free 90-minute coaching call?

In our free initial coaching calls, we listen a lot, we ask you questions to understand what life is really like for you at the moment, we help you identify what you want to be different and what's holding you back from creating those changes now. Then we help you create a practical plan of action to start moving forward straight away.

What will I learn in your coaching programs?

We take you through a process to:

  • Stop being tentative and become more focused and directed.
  • Develop control over your thoughts and emotions like never before.
  • Become a master of the masculine and feminine dance required for a more passionate connection in your romantic relationships.
  • Build and sustain your personal masculine confidence so that you don't get "triggered" or feel disrespected and can respond with strength and confidence to any situation.
  • Become more connected, aware and present with everyone (this is a critical step in your ability to build attraction and desire as well as have people trust you and respect you more).
  • Stop the destructive emotions of anger and resentment which keep you going around in frustrating cycles and start from moving forward with purpose.
  • Stop being anxious, needy and overly reliant upon other people's opinions and approval of you and start feeling more peace, happiness and a deep sense of being a man who is confident in himself again.
  • You will become a confident man who knows his values, what he wants and where he’s going in his life.
  • You will learn how to think, speak and act according to your values without worrying about reactions from others.
  • You become clear and confident in your ability to create intimacy whenever you want.
  • Your confidence will be something that you start to rely on and trust in every part of your life.

How does the Men's Roundtable work?

Our Men's Roundtable membership gives you access to 3 live group coaching calls per month hosted by Steve and Dan as well as access to over 5 years of previously recorded group coaching calls, an invitation to our private facebook group, and ongoing assignments and resources to help you grow and develop as a confident masculine man. It's like having a personal coach in your pocket, ready to help whenever you need it.

What's the difference between the 1-to-1 coaching and group coaching?

Firstly, anyone who is in our 1-to-1 coaching program automatically receives access to the Men's Roundtable membership and group coaching for free for life. The difference between 1-to-1 and group coaching is down to the speed of change that you want to happen. With more personal time and attention from your coach, the 1-to-1 program is adapted to your specific circumstances and will provide the practical advice you need to know what to think, say and do to create what you want your future to be.

What kind of man is right for your coaching?

We work with men who are willing to take the lead in creating the changes they want in their life and relationships. We only work with men who want to understand their fears, insecurities and shame triggers. We teach you practical ways to deal with the mental and emotional challenges life throws at you and help you reach an unshakeable confidence in yourself (often for the first time in your life).

  • You won’t find negative, hateful language.
  • You won’t find a gender war – we don’t bash women.
  • You won’t find bitching, whining, complaining, and blaming.
  • You won’t find a group of men acting like victims.
  • You won’t find judgment or criticism from others.

We don't waste our time with all those things because we want to take the most efficient and effective path to creating the future you want. So we focus only on the things that are within your control: your thoughts, your words and your actions.

How do I know if I need coaching?

If you are feeling unhappy a lot of the time, if you're lonely, drained, lost, stuck or trapped, then our coaching will help. If you're not sure where your life is headed, if you're not confident in yourself, if you're not sure what you really want in life anymore...our coaching will help.

Whether it’s your job, your intimate relationship, or just wanting to feel more happy and with more purpose, then our coaching will help.

If you are tired of settling for a mediocre life or relationship, tolerating criticism and a lack of fun and intimacy and you're done with placating and playing it safe, then our coaching will help.

We will help you have clarity about what you're REALLY passionate about. We'll get you clear about where you want to be in six months and in six years. We help you figure out what you really want to create vs what other people think you should do.

We help you take action, get unstuck, start moving forward. We help you find what matters instead of just "being busy" in the daily grind. We help you figure out how you're going to get from where you are now to where you want to be.

For many of the guys we work with, they find a peace and a sense of emotional freedom that has them shaking their heads and smiling at how they used to approach life. They feel passionate about life again. They build stronger relationships with the people that matter most to them. They feel satisfied and fulfilled that they have finally found the “right path” forward and life starts to feel fun and inspiring again.

So now you've read that...what do you think? Would YOU like to try some of our coaching for free?

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

This is the secret your dad never told you about – You have more power than you know.

We respect your privacy, read our privacy policy here