attraction | Good Guys 2 Great Men

Why Has My Wife Stopped Wanting Sex With Me?

The topic for today’s article is one of the most common questions we get asked and one of the biggest sources of frustration for men in their marriage or long term relationship. Why doesn’t she initiate intimacy? Why do I have to do everything to make this a relationship rather than just a platonic friendship? How can she be happy without an intimate connection? What can I do to change this? Our first response is always to look into how you THINK about your current situation. Most of the time you’re so focused on what she says or what you think she’s thinking that you have no idea what’s really … Continue reading →

My Wife Said I’m Controlling, What Do I Do Now?

Sometimes we get our best ideas at the most awkward times…like on the toilet. There I was, reading an old issue of Rolling Stones magazine and an interview with the late Glenn Frey of the band The Eagles. My favorite band of all time, by the way. Anyway, I read a quote he made during an interview and it gave me a flash of insight – an idea – and there was no pen in sight. The interviewer commented how amazing it was that the band could so closely reproduce in live concert the perfect vocal harmonies and instrumentation they achieved on their records. Glenn said, “Yeah, with so many … Continue reading →

How Overreacting Reduces the Affection in Your Marriage

I say this about 20 times a week. STAY IN YOUR LANE, BROTHER! I say it to men who are stumbling into negativity, dark thoughts and unnecessary conflict. But what does it mean? It means to stop driving into the drama created by others. It means to stop believing every bad day is a sign that something is wrong. And when things are going great, don’t get caught up in believing they will always be great. Life is an experience of ups and downs…highs and lows. But if you don’t know where YOUR LANE is, you’ll drive all over the freaking road feeling out of control…a victim of circumstances. If … Continue reading →

Turn Your Angry Wife Into a Purring Pussycat

Since I don’t have kids, I don’t normally give much parenting advice. Although the “man skills” I teach are totally transferable to parenting nothing beats a great true story to illustrate a point. My buddy, Jeff, told me a story today about his unruly 15-year-old who went ballistic when Jeff took his phone away. I don’t just mean ballistic. I mean all out warfare. What do you do when someone with a 15-year-old mindset and maturity does something so outrageous that you feel like throwing him through a wall? I found out the answer today when Jeff shared this great story. I love how he handled it. Jeff Allen is … Continue reading →

How to Initiate Sex and Not Get Rejected

This article may piss off a few people…but I don’t care. Tough love is hard to swallow and I’ve had to swallow my fair share. When is the BEST time to ask a woman for sex? Answer: When you don’t NEED it. The worst time to ask for a job, a loan, a date or sex is when you desperately think you NEED it. People smell this a mile away and it shows up in your eyes, your voice, your body and even the muscles in your jaw. Too simple you say? I think not. This is a UNIVERSAL principle that applies in nearly every facet of life, business and … Continue reading →

Become More Attractive to Your Wife By Stopping This One Thing

An everyday conversation with a wishy-washy person. You: Hey man, I have 3 tickets for the playoff game this Saturday at 1pm. I want you to take the 3rd ticket and come with Bill and I. I’m driving and can pick you up at 11am. It’s going to be a blast. Do you want to join us? Wishy-Washy Friend: “Umm…yeah…that sounds pretty good…I think…umm thanks…I mean…that should probably work…I guess…lemme see…umm…yeah.” What’s my point here? Don’t be that guy. Nobody likes that guy. Nobody. I’m not talking about being uncertain when someone asks, Do you know the surface temperature of the sun? If you don’t know something then saying NO … Continue reading →

How Can I Save My Marriage? and Why it’s the Wrong Question to Ask

There’s a “chicken and the egg” situation I want to address right here…right now. And this is crucial to HOW YOU THINK about getting what you want in life and relationships. How you think about everything is the only control you have and all you will ever need. Why? Because the moment you change the way you think about the things happening in your life…those very things will start changing in front of your eyes. I’m in the business of helping men CHANGE THEIR PERSPECTIVE about what it means to be a man. I teach them HOW TO THINK differently. What causes us to become needy, dependent and afraid in … Continue reading →

Are You Making This Common Relationship Mistake?

There’s something I want to share with you in this article… I’m seeing a lot of men falling into a huge trap. This can be a trap if you’re married, in an exclusive relationship…or even if you’re single. Having a girlfriend can be a HEALTHY decision or it can be a messy, emotional cry for help. You can make her the delicious icing on your cake. Or you can make her the flour in your cake – the very source of strength, stability and confidence in your life. Guess which one I want for you. Here are the 3 signs you know you’re not ready for a girlfriend yet. … Continue reading →

Re-attracting Your Wife 101 – Stop Being so Defensive

being defensive kills her attraction to you

This article is a continuation of my 4-part series based on John Gottman’s research on what makes relationships last and marriages survive and thrive. I wanted to put his research into easy-to-understand language and easy to implement actions for you (and me). He named them “The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse”. These are the FOUR BEHAVIORS that can predict divorce with about 90% accuracy. In other words, if these things show up consistently in your relationship, you can bet things won’t be going your way in the future. The four behaviors are: Criticism Defensiveness Stonewalling Contempt In each of these articles, I will break down each behavior this way: a. What … Continue reading →

How to Reignite the Attraction When Your Wife Says its Gone

The most frequent question I get from clients trying to resuscitate intimacy in their relationship is: “When is She Going to Want Sex With Me Again?!” And my answer is always the same. “I don’t know…and neither does she.” The next question is, “Well, I know she doesn’t want sex right now, but I don’t know if she even WANTS to want sex with me. How can I tell if she even WANTS to want to be intimate again?” Again. “I don’t know…and neither does she.” She may have told you, “I don’t know why I don’t want to have sex. I don’t know when I’ll ever want it. And … Continue reading →