The Kind Of Man Your Wife Is Attracted To

What’s the “secret” solution to your waning sex life? Stop trying to fix her & become a man who genuinely loves his life. That’s who your wife is attracted to.

Firstly, I want to talk with you about living in the kind of life and relationship you really, really want.

That last sentence has a key word in it.

It’s the word “living”.

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Note, I didn’t say “getting” the life you want or “having” the life you want.

Those two words imply there is somewhere you must GO to achieve the life you want.

What if “Living” Is A Place You Come FROM, Not A Place To Get TO?

What if you just f*cking DECIDED to start living the life you want right this moment?

What kind of man would you have to BE in order to make that choice?

I know…those last 3 questions are complex and may feel unclear to you.

I’ve had trouble being challenged with the same questions.

It’s because I’ve always thought that a passionate, fun, connected, meaningful, engaged, affectionate and sexual life was something that would happen to me.

It was something outside of me where I would have to go “find” it or it would eventually appear for me.

I’m finding out that is total horse crap. And I know horse crap when I see it.

I’ve learned that we have been slowly conditioned to be AFRAID OF BEING passionate, fun, connected, meaningful, engaged, affectionate and sexual men!

But that’s the only power we’ve ever had since we were born. We were BORN with those things!

Nobody has ever taken them away from us.

I “Took My Balls Back” In My Relationship By Not Giving My Power Away

Operating from fear gives away our power to own who we are.

We become afraid to BE who we are and live how we want to live.

We seek permission – acceptance – reciprocation – validation. We wait for others to give us what we want instead of just LIVING LIKE WE WANT.

Now I want you to think about how dogs and specifically Golden Retriever’s live life.

These dogs don’t give a shit. They laugh, love, lick and play any damn time they want to – and they NEVER apologize for being who they are.

A Golden Retriever does not wait for permission to live an engaged, playful, affectionate life.

He doesn’t hope for happy and fulfilling relationships – he wakes up every day expecting he will have them. He DEMANDS it!

And he is irresistible!

There’s a lesson there for you and I. It hit me today while I was walking outside. It’s the perfect analogy to explain what’s possible for you. So I made the video below to explain it further:

(I have a 7-Day Challenge for you too at the end – if you choose to accept the mission!)

YouTube video

What a Golden Retriever Can Teach Us About Taking Our Balls Back

I “Took My Balls Back” In My Relationship Like A Golden Retriever: I Stopped Giving A Sh*t.

Golden retrievers don’t care if you’re not happy.

They don’t care if you’re:

  • Not affectionate.
  • Not feeling connected.
  • Having a bad day.

Golden retrievers DON’T GIVE A SH*T.

What if we men started to think more like that? Why don’t we believe we can behave and embody the energy of a golden retriever and become a kind man, an affectionate man, a respectful man, a considerate man, a sexual man, a hugging man, a kissing man, a lick you on the face man – anything we want to become?

Why Can’t We Live The Life Of A Golden Retriever Who Doesn’t Give A Sh*t?

The answer is clear…we start to fear what other people will think if we’re unapologetically affectionate. We’re afraid of what they think or do. We’re afraid of rejection for our overtures of connection, touch and sexuality.

That fear builds up inside and tells us to stop acting like a young child. Stop acting like a golden retriever.

Yet we’re still magnetically attracted to people and animals who act that way.

You may know some people who don’t give a sh*t right? People who actually embody that energy. Where they live the life they want on their terms. They’re not going anywhere to find it, they’re not waiting to have it, they’re not depending on anybody else’s mood or behavior to give them the life they want…because they’re coming from the assumption that they are already there.

Their belief is that they are already well into the process of being that person.

Do you still have a lot of fear about what people might think and what they might say?

Do you still fear rejection and avoid people who are in a bad mood?

It’s that fearful energy that makes us feel uninspired and uninspiring to the rest of the world.

What would you do TODAY if you started embracing your inner Golden Retriever?

What would it look like for you to spend the next 7 days in the skin of a Golden Retriever?

What if you Kissed what you wanted to kiss. Hugged what you wanted to hug. Chewed up what you wanted to chew up. Ate what you wanted to eat. And didn’t give a shit?

What if you just Be that dog?

What if you just Be that man?

What would happen?

Will “Taking Your Balls Back” Improve Your Relationship And Sex Life?

We see it all the time. It’s counterintuitive. Becoming a man who’s loving life again (even when your relationship is struggling) is intriguingly attractive. That’s not the reason to do it though. Yes, it felt good when I “took my balls back” in my relationship but being a man who is loving life is its own reward.

So I’m inviting you to contact us for a free coaching call and have a 1-2 hour conversation where we I’ve deep into your fears, hopes and dreams and help you get clear on the next steps you need to take to start creating a more fun, relaxed, unapologetically affectionate, sexual and fulfilling future.

author avatar
Steve Horsmon Certified Professional Men’s Coach
Steve Horsmon is a Certified Professional Life Coach and owner of Goodguys2Greatmen Relationship Coaching in Livermore, Colorado. He has appeared on well known coachign and psychology television, radio, youtube, and podcast channels related to maintaining healthy relationships. Steve provides intensely personal, action oriented coaching services for men through 1-on-1 coaching, private retreats and workshops designed to give men new knowledge, skills and mindset to achieve their relationship goals. He is a committed, lifelong mentor who teaches his clients to discover their masculine power, take bold action and create the life they want. He has written articles and guest blogs for numerous relationship and expert websites.

Frequently Asked Questions


Is our coaching right for you?

Our coaching process was created for men who want to feel happier and more fulfilled in their life and relationships. We teach you how to have more confidence and clarity about what you want in your life and create an action plan to start making it happen.

Do you only work with men in marriage?

While our coaching teaches you how to create a more connected, more fun and passionate marriage, we also work with you to have more clarity, enthusiasm and fulfillment in all areas of your life. We help you understand what you really want your future to look like and we also teach you how to be in control of your emotions so that you can be confident and assertive no matter how difficult your circumstances are right now .

What happens in the free 90-minute coaching call?

In our free initial coaching calls, we listen a lot, we ask you questions to understand what life is really like for you at the moment, we help you identify what you want to be different and what's holding you back from creating those changes now. Then we help you create a practical plan of action to start moving forward straight away.

What will I learn in your coaching programs?

We take you through a process to:

  • Stop being tentative and become more focused and directed.
  • Develop control over your thoughts and emotions like never before.
  • Become a master of the masculine and feminine dance required for a more passionate connection in your romantic relationships.
  • Build and sustain your personal masculine confidence so that you don't get "triggered" or feel disrespected and can respond with strength and confidence to any situation.
  • Become more connected, aware and present with everyone (this is a critical step in your ability to build attraction and desire as well as have people trust you and respect you more).
  • Stop the destructive emotions of anger and resentment which keep you going around in frustrating cycles and start from moving forward with purpose.
  • Stop being anxious, needy and overly reliant upon other people's opinions and approval of you and start feeling more peace, happiness and a deep sense of being a man who is confident in himself again.
  • You will become a confident man who knows his values, what he wants and where he’s going in his life.
  • You will learn how to think, speak and act according to your values without worrying about reactions from others.
  • You become clear and confident in your ability to create intimacy whenever you want.
  • Your confidence will be something that you start to rely on and trust in every part of your life.

How does the Men's Roundtable work?

Our Men's Roundtable membership gives you access to 3 live group coaching calls per month hosted by Steve and Dan as well as access to over 5 years of previously recorded group coaching calls, an invitation to our private facebook group, and ongoing assignments and resources to help you grow and develop as a confident masculine man. It's like having a personal coach in your pocket, ready to help whenever you need it.

What's the difference between the 1-to-1 coaching and group coaching?

Firstly, anyone who is in our 1-to-1 coaching program automatically receives access to the Men's Roundtable membership and group coaching for free for life. The difference between 1-to-1 and group coaching is down to the speed of change that you want to happen. With more personal time and attention from your coach, the 1-to-1 program is adapted to your specific circumstances and will provide the practical advice you need to know what to think, say and do to create what you want your future to be.

What kind of man is right for your coaching?

We work with men who are willing to take the lead in creating the changes they want in their life and relationships. We only work with men who want to understand their fears, insecurities and shame triggers. We teach you practical ways to deal with the mental and emotional challenges life throws at you and help you reach an unshakeable confidence in yourself (often for the first time in your life).

  • You won’t find negative, hateful language.
  • You won’t find a gender war – we don’t bash women.
  • You won’t find bitching, whining, complaining, and blaming.
  • You won’t find a group of men acting like victims.
  • You won’t find judgment or criticism from others.

We don't waste our time with all those things because we want to take the most efficient and effective path to creating the future you want. So we focus only on the things that are within your control: your thoughts, your words and your actions.

How do I know if I need coaching?

If you are feeling unhappy a lot of the time, if you're lonely, drained, lost, stuck or trapped, then our coaching will help. If you're not sure where your life is headed, if you're not confident in yourself, if you're not sure what you really want in life anymore...our coaching will help.

Whether it’s your job, your intimate relationship, or just wanting to feel more happy and with more purpose, then our coaching will help.

If you are tired of settling for a mediocre life or relationship, tolerating criticism and a lack of fun and intimacy and you're done with placating and playing it safe, then our coaching will help.

We will help you have clarity about what you're REALLY passionate about. We'll get you clear about where you want to be in six months and in six years. We help you figure out what you really want to create vs what other people think you should do.

We help you take action, get unstuck, start moving forward. We help you find what matters instead of just "being busy" in the daily grind. We help you figure out how you're going to get from where you are now to where you want to be.

For many of the guys we work with, they find a peace and a sense of emotional freedom that has them shaking their heads and smiling at how they used to approach life. They feel passionate about life again. They build stronger relationships with the people that matter most to them. They feel satisfied and fulfilled that they have finally found the “right path” forward and life starts to feel fun and inspiring again.

So now you've read that...what do you think? Would YOU like to try some of our coaching for free?

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

This is the secret your dad never told you about – You have more power than you know.

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