The tension was thick in the air. Greg had just shared his deepest fears with his wife. Was the ball in her court or his now? She said nothing, but the look on her face said: “what are you going to do about this”? Greg felt confused. Being a vulnerable man is supposed to be good in a relationship, right? This article explains why a man’s vulnerability is not attractive when he vents his insecurities and fears without a plan. I’m also going to show you the attractiveness of “presence” when emotions are hard.
Everyone is saying it these days.
Vulnerability is a strength…not a weakness!
This is definitely confusing to married men who have been expressing their feelings and emotional discomfort in their marriage only to be clobbered over the head with their vulnerability.
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It’s a paradox.
Vulnerability can be both a strength AND a weakness.
Vulnerability is strength when we express ourselves from an emotionally secure place. When we share our feelings and fears without apology, without defense and without a hidden agenda, vulnerability can be powerful and liberating.
We can feel a surge of self-respect and inner peace when we finally speak our unapologetic truth without fear.
I believe vulnerability is one of the most important traits of a courageous, whole-hearted man. It’s our ticket to a truly authentic presence
So when is vulnerability a “weakness”?
I explain this in the short video below.
The Ultimate (and scariest) Test of Your Manhood
“Vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage.” ~ Brene Brown
While vulnerability requires great courage, I often caution men about the “misuse” of their emotional expressions.
How can we “misuse” vulnerability?
In the context of a struggling marriage or emotional conflict, we can pressure, coerce or manipulate others with our pain.
We may justify our constant sharing of feelings and demand for attention as simple “communication”.
How could she not want to “communicate”?
This is where our coaching gets very direct.
When a vulnerable man shares his unbridled emotions, fears and feelings with his wife it’s typically ineffective and unwanted.
Fearful emotions can cause more distance, discord and disrespect.
This is why we emphasize the need to be vulnerable with someone who can handle it.
And that someone is another man who totally gets you.
Most men tell me they have few men in their life they can trust.
I think this is the biggest reason I created the Goodguys2Greatmen community. There is no other place I know of with so many strong, wise, compassionate and helpful men.
A vulnerable man is attractive when he’s settled his fears and worries. He settles his anxieties with other men before trying to be vulnerable with his wife. Are you ready to get vulnerable with men you can trust?
I want you to reach out for a consultation call. (click that link)
Just the kind of brotherhood you have to feel to believe!