How to Stop Feeling Hopeless in Your Struggling Marriage
AN OLD SIOUX LEGEND…In ancient times, the Creator wanted to hide something from the humans until they were ready to see it. He gathered all the other creatures of creation to ask for their advice. The eagle said, ‘Give it to me and I will take it to the highest mountain in all the land,’ but the Creator said, ‘No, one day they will conquer the mountain and find it.’ The salmon said, ‘Leave it with me and I will hide it at the very bottom of the ocean,’ but the Creator said, ‘No, for humans are explorers at heart, and one day they will go there too.’ The buffalo said, ‘I will take it and bury it in the very heart of the Great Plains,’ but the Creator said, ‘No, for one day even the skin of the Earth will be ripped open, and they will find it there.’
The creatures of creation were stumped, but then an old blind mole spoke up. ‘Why don’t you put it inside them? That’s the very last place they’ll look.’ The Creator said, ‘It is done.’
There’s a dirty little secret about the GG2GM coaching process.
We don’t actually have anything you don’t already have.
Do you want more confidence? More intimacy? More self-respect?
Do you want more certainty? More happiness? More peace?
Yeah, I can’t give you those things. Why?
Because I don’t have them…you do.
And you’ve simply forgotten where to find them.
The coaching process isn’t about giving you good answers, it’s about asking you powerful questions.
Coaching is about helping you find your inner wisdom and learning to trust what you already know to be true.
You’re the captain of your ship and you have all the control you need to go where you want to go.
But sometimes you’ve got a “navigation problem”.
Sometimes there are storms made of “thoughts” that totally knock you off course. This is where things like impulsive reactions and stupid arguments come from. Thought storms create dark stories and inner narratives that sabotage your ship.
Sometimes there are hurricanes of “emotions” that cause you great stress and anxiety. This is when you think you’ve lost all confidence in yourself. And you feel like you have no ability to self-soothe your chronic sense of discomfort and doom.
What if you regained control of those thoughts and emotions?
What if you had the ability to actually OBSERVE yourself thinking those thoughts and feeling those feelings?
It would be like being in a dream where you realize you’re in a dream. And now, YOU’RE in charge. You’re happening to the dream…it’s not happening to you!
Wouldn’t that be cool? Yeah. It is.
It’s the secret sauce already inside you.
I talk more about this in the video below.
Have you ever turned the house upside down, angrily searching for something that turned out to be in your pocket? You know that silly grin you get right after that?
I want you to find that silly grin sooner than later.
It’s that silly grin…that sudden awareness of your own power…that powerful insight to a deeper truth…that will give you a chronic, daily sense of extreme contentment.
How’s that sound?
Let’s do it together.
You drive the ship.
Let us to help you navigate through the storms.
Start here. Make a decision to get some navigation help.
We LOVE this stuff!
Free: If you’re serious about building your masculine mojo then apply for a coaching call with us we will help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you feeling confident again.
What do I mean by “SERIOUS”?
- We take YOU and your struggles seriously…because we’ve been there
- We know being called needy is serious
- And we know a lack of clarity about how to change it is serious now and for your long term future happiness
- We believe your personal emotional strength and well-being is serious
- We seriously show up 110% to our conversations with you and expect you to be as serious as we are about changing your life
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As Teddy Roosevelt said:
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”
You don’t need someone else to steer your ship for you.
You may feel lost because fear, arguments, and worst-case stories have pulled you far off course. We help you slow those storms down, see what your mind is doing, and trust the strength you already carry. You remain the captain. We’ll help you find a clearer direction.
Talk to a coach →Q: Why do I feel hopeless about my marriage even when I know what I should do?
A: You feel hopeless because fearful thoughts and heavy emotions can drown out what you already know. Knowing the right response and accessing it under pressure aren’t the same thing. When your mind starts predicting rejection, divorce, or permanent failure, you can lose sight of your judgment and react as though those dark stories have already come true.
Q: What does it mean to have a navigation problem in my marriage?
A: A navigation problem means you haven’t lost your strength or your ability to choose. You’ve simply become disoriented by fear, anger, or stories about what might happen next. You still control your responses and direction. The work involves clearing enough mental noise to see where you are and choose your next step on purpose.
Q: How can I regain control of my thoughts and emotions?
A: You regain control by learning to notice thoughts and feelings before automatically obeying them. A fearful thought isn’t an order, and a surge of anger doesn’t have to become an argument. Pause, name what is happening inside you, and decide what response matches the man you want to be. Awareness creates a gap where better choices become possible.
Q: Does coaching give me the answers to fix my marriage?
A: Good coaching doesn’t give you a script that magically fixes your marriage. It asks questions that help you uncover what you already know about your values, choices, and behavior. The coach helps you see blind spots and stop letting fear make every decision. You still choose the direction and take responsibility for following it.
Q: What if I don’t trust my own judgment anymore?
A: You rebuild trust in your judgment by making small, clear decisions and watching yourself follow through. Don’t begin by demanding certainty about the whole marriage. Decide how you’ll respond to one difficult conversation or one anxious morning. Each steady choice gives you evidence that your wisdom hasn’t disappeared. It has only been buried under noise.
Q: Can I become confident again while my marriage is still uncertain?
A: You can become confident before you know what will happen to your marriage. Confidence isn’t a reward you receive after your wife comes closer or promises to stay. It grows when you stop handing your emotional state to circumstances you can’t control. Goodguys2Greatmen helps men practise that shift while real uncertainty is still present.
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