Is Your Wife Planning to Leave Your Marriage?
This discussion is about why we hide the truth and seek to protect ourselves from scrutiny from others.
What would be TOO horrible or dangerous to be shown on the front page of the paper tomorrow morning?
When is confidentiality important and when are we unnecessarily clutching to privacy/anonymity?
When is it appropriate to protect others from possible hurt or harm?
How does hiding the truth sabotage us from getting what we really want?
Exercise: “Tell me something you REALLY don’t want me to know about you.”
This is going to be a great conversation! If you’re looking for a new mindset to keep moving forward, you’ll love this Roundtable session!
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This email is about the all-too-common condition some therapists call “The Walk Away Wife Syndrome”.
Among other common traits of this syndrome is the two-year advance planning period many wives spend in anticipation of the end of their marriage.
Don’t get me wrong.
It’s seldom a detailed plan. Seldom premeditated.
In the beginning it’s more of a feeling…an emotional knowing that her marriage cannot continue any longer the way it is. It’s a heavy sadness. So heavy, in fact, she can’t muster the strength to talk about it or reveal the growing truth in her heart.
And this is where most of say “bullshit!”. “Why couldn’t she have told me she was feeling this way?!”
The reason is simple. In her own way she thinks she said volumes. In ways you may have missed, but the only ways she knew to tell you.
We give guys clues that may help, like:
- She’s constantly detached, disinterested, unresponsive and endlessly distracted by everything and everyone but you
- She’s consumed with social media at all hours of the day and night and she has time only for friends, co-workers and people you’ve never met
- She’s suddenly aggressive and disrespectful at every request you make to “talk about it”
- She’s adopted strange new habits like smoking, excessive drinking, staying out all night or getting tattoos
If you’ve seen any of those signs you’re probably feeling all kinds of anxiety, loss of appetite and sleep. Brother, you’re among men who ALL know what that feels like.
It’s impossible in one email to give you enough helpful information to change things overnight. The first phase of the “Walk Away Wife Syndrome” is complex and it’s important to not over-react.
Most of us will over-analyze, over-think and over-talk. None of those will work.
In this video, I talk about a free PDF we created to help you start THINKING correctly. Below the video I will give you a link to download this document to give you some immediate guidance on what may be going on in your marriage.
If you’ve recently joined this email list you’ve been getting a daily email about a story of Pete, Barb and Mike.
It’s actually MY story…and possibly yours. A lot of guys read this and think I’ve been hiding under their couch.
The truth is that the dynamics leading to a stumbling marriage are pretty damn predictable. So while I may sound like a mystic, I’m just writing about a story that happens every day in the life of a good guy trying to do the right things and live a happy life.
It’s between age 40 and 60 where most guys are hit with a stark realization that it’s not that easy. It’s also the age range for the “walk away wife syndrome”.
In my case I call it “unconscious incompetence”. For a fairly smart guy, there was an amazing amount of things about women, marriage and sex nobody ever told me.
And there was a LOT about myself I didn’t understand either.
If you want to read the entire story in one sitting, I’m offering a free PDF download for you. Just click the link below (yes, I ask for your email address) and get the story titled:
Every Man’s Marriage Nightmare
And if you’re ready for something a little more intense and personal, submit our contact form . This will start the process of connecting with me, Dan or one of our certified coaches. These are deep dive coaching conversations that last at least an hour.
Most guys say at the end of these free consultations, “Hold crap, I got more out of this conversation than 6 months of marriage counseling!”
No kidding. We hear it all the time. Give it a shot. You’ll be amazed.
What’s the next step for you?
We have been where you are brother and we have options to help guide you toward a better future…
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What do I mean by “SERIOUS”?
- We take YOU and your struggles seriously…because we’ve been there
- We know being called needy is serious
- And we know a lack of clarity about how to change it is serious now and for your long term future happiness
- We believe your personal emotional strength and well-being is serious
- We seriously show up 110% to our conversations with you and expect you to be as serious as we are about changing your life
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As Teddy Roosevelt said:
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”
If your wife feels like she’s already gone, don’t chase her with panic.
You may be watching her detach, pull away, get sharper with you, or live like everyone else matters more than you. That fear can make a good man overtalk, overanalyze, and make the distance worse. At Goodguys2Greatmen, we’ll help you get clear about what’s happening and what kind of man you need to become next.
Talk to a coach →Q: What is walk away wife syndrome?
A: Walk away wife syndrome is when a wife emotionally checks out of the marriage long before she officially says she’s done. It often begins as sadness, exhaustion, and a private knowing that the relationship can’t continue the same way. To her husband, it can look sudden. To her, it may feel like she has been saying it for years.
Q: How do I know if my wife is planning to leave?
A: Your wife may be planning to leave if she seems constantly detached, distracted, aggressive, secretive, or no longer interested in repairing things with you. One sign alone doesn’t prove anything. But when her whole energy shifts and your attempts to talk only make her colder, you need to slow down and get honest fast.
Q: Why didn’t my wife tell me she was this unhappy?
A: Your wife may believe she did tell you, even if she never said it in the clear words you wanted. She may have shown it through sadness, distance, irritation, shutdown, or years of small complaints you didn’t take seriously. That doesn’t make you evil. It means you missed signals that mattered.
Q: What should I not do when my wife is pulling away?
A: Don’t panic, interrogate her, pressure her to explain everything, or flood her with long talks about the relationship. Most men overthink, overtalk, and try to force certainty when they’re scared. That usually makes her feel more done. Your first move is to calm yourself and stop reacting like a man who has lost his center.
Q: Is it too late if my wife has emotionally checked out?
A: It may not be too late if your wife has emotionally checked out, but you won’t help things by demanding reassurance. A man has to become steady, honest, and more aware of what he couldn’t see before. You may not control her choice. You absolutely control whether you make the situation worse or better.
Q: Why do men miss the signs before their wife leaves?
A: Men miss the signs before their wife leaves because many good guys were never taught how women, marriage, sex, resentment, and emotional distance really work. They think being responsible and doing the right things should be enough. Then the marriage starts falling apart and they realize nobody ever taught them how to read the room.
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Have questions about your relationship?
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