How to Create More Intimacy With Your Wife
We are going to continue our discussion started last time on the traits of the HDM and how to liberate yourself from stress, anxiety and excess caretaking!
- How to “Not give a fuck”…
- About what other people think of you.
- That some women get mad, upset or disappointed.
- That some women won’t like you.
- That most people don’t understand you.
- That most people will never achieve what you have.
- How to fearless confront and defending your boundaries and responding with strength and calm confidence.
- How to be totally unapologetic in your masculinity.
- How to be transparent in your sexuality and expectations for connected, affectionate and passionate intimacy.
The entire article is below. Check it out to find other areas you really want to dive into!
Why Acting Like a Happily Divorced Man Can Save Your Relationship
This is going to be a great conversation! If you’re looking for a new mindset to keep moving forward, you’ll love this Roundtable session!
If this call sounds interesting to you, join our Men’s Roundtable here.
(You’ll also gain access to 6 years of recorded previous group coaching sessions and our private Facebook community).
I know what it feels like to be in an intimate, romantic, monogamous relationship and yet to feel totally alone.
Especially hard at time of celebration or a time when you think you “should” be having a great time (but you’re currently not).
What I really want to tell you is, no matter what you’re going through at this moment, I wish you the strength, faith and clarity to know…above anything else…that your happiness is within you.
In other words, I wish you to find your “Inherent Happiness”. This is yours for the taking and is not found anywhere OUTSIDE of you.
I want your next few weeks to include the self-awarded gift of self-respect and self-reliance which form the foundation of your “inherent happiness”.
With that in mind, I also want to remind you that your happiness will not be found on the All-You-Can-Eat Self-Help Buffet .
Don’t think for a second that I don’t love a good book, video, podcast or 4-day self-help seminar.
In fact, I assign a LOT of that stuff in my one-on-one coaching program.
But there is a point of diminishing returns.
It’s like when I used to practice juggling a soccer ball for hours. I could go longer than anyone. I could balance the ball on my head while running. At first glance you would think I was a good player.
Early in my soccer development I spent more time ALONE than actually PLAYNG THE FREAKING GAME! And it showed on the field. My skills had never been challenged. My tricks never tested.
It wasn’t until I played hard with other guys that I learned what the game was all about. I couldn’t just have good skills. I needed teammates I could trust to challenge me.
I needed good INSTINCTS!
And instincts are created in the heat of the battle by being tested over and over again.
The moral of the story when it comes to self-help is that we MUST GET ON THE FIELD at some point. If you don’t, you’re likely to just buy another damn book that says pretty much what the last one did.
Watch this video for more about that.
Do you have good INSTINCTS when it comes to your relationships?
Are you caught off-guard and on your heels when facing conflict?
Do you feel like a deer in the headlights when challenged on your behaviors and beliefs?
Do you lose all your mojo when it comes to actually STATING what you want and what you don’t want?
Would you rather punch a hole in the wall when criticized than calmly step into the emotional storm with a calm swagger of curiosity?
If you answered YES to any one of those questions, I’m betting you’re not spending enough time with the right men.
You’re not sharpening your sense of self-respect and you’re not becoming CLEAR about what you stand for or what you want.
This is done ON THE FIELD with other men.
You simply cannot do this in the privacy of your own mind and in your own self-help library.
Scary as hell, isn’t it? I KNOW!
Even men who have been in my community for years sometimes “lurk” in the background of a live meeting or Facebook group. They quietly watch and listen to the perils and fears of others without getting on the field. It’s messy out there, I know.
But you will never feel more clear – more confident – more COURAGEOUS as when you finally allow yourself to be seen and heard by those you can trust. And guess what? They are craving to be seen and heard by YOU as well.
Are you ready to come off the bench? Ready to add some gasoline to your self-help fire?
There is no better way than joining our community of great men.
What is so “great” about them?
1. They have gotten on the field of brotherhood and decided to start practicing the fine art of vulnerability.
2. They are learning the subtle art of listening.
3. They are developing astonishingly RARE connections with other men who want exactly what they want from life.
4. And they are getting it!
We want you in the game with us. Seriously. We do.
Consider joining us in one of these ways.
Free: If you’re serious about building your masculine mojo then apply for a coaching call with us we will help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you feeling confident again.
What do I mean by “SERIOUS”?
- We take YOU and your struggles seriously…because we’ve been there
- We know being called needy is serious
- And we know a lack of clarity about how to change it is serious now and for your long term future happiness
- We believe your personal emotional strength and well-being is serious
- We seriously show up 110% to our conversations with you and expect you to be as serious as we are about changing your life
Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity
$69 Monthly Subscription: Join Dan and I in our Men’s Roundtable Group Coaching membership. We meet three times per month for live group coaching and we support you in a powerful group of men facing the same issues you are. Get instant access to 6 years of recorded sessions. Try it for one month. What have you got to lose?
$497 One-Time Payment: How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a self-paced course with me, Tim Wade, and a community of men learning how to lead when you’ve just heard, “I love you but I’m not in love with you” or “I want to separate or divorce.”
As Teddy Roosevelt said:
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”
If you’ve been studying intimacy from the bench, it’s time to get on the field with other men.
You may have read the books, watched the videos, and thought about this stuff for years. But your wife doesn’t live inside your self-help library. At Goodguys2Greatmen, you’ll practice with men who understand the fear, the mess, and the courage it takes to be seen, heard, challenged, and changed.
Talk to a coach →Q: How do I get better at creating intimacy with my wife?
A: You get better at creating intimacy with your wife by practicing courage, honesty, and presence in real life, not just studying ideas alone. Books and videos can help, but they won’t test your instincts. You need real conversations with men who can challenge you and help you become clearer about what you want.
Q: Why isn’t self-help fixing my marriage?
A: Self-help may not be fixing your marriage because you’re learning alone but not getting tested in the real game. Reading another book can feel productive, but it can also keep you safe and hidden. Marriage asks for instincts, not just information. Those instincts get built through action, feedback, and honest conversation.
Q: What does it mean to get on the field with other men?
A: Getting on the field with other men means you stop watching from a safe distance and start being seen, heard, and challenged. You talk about the real stuff you’re afraid to admit. You practice listening, telling the truth, and staying steady while other men help sharpen you.
Q: Why do I freeze when my wife challenges me?
A: You freeze when your wife challenges you because your instincts haven’t been trained under pressure. You may know the right idea in your head, then lose your mojo when conflict hits. A man needs practice staying calm, curious, and clear when emotions rise. That practice rarely happens alone.
Q: Is it normal to feel scared about joining a men’s group?
A: It’s normal to feel scared about joining a men’s group because being seen by other men can feel risky. Most men are used to hiding the messy parts and trying to look fine. But the courage you want with your wife often starts when you let trusted men hear the truth first.
Q: What if I already know what I need to do but still don’t do it?
A: If you already know what to do but still don’t do it, you likely need practice, support, and challenge more than more information. Knowing isn’t the same as instinct. A man changes faster when other men help him get off the bench, say the hard thing, and take the next honest step.
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Have questions about your relationship?
Apply for a free, no strings, 90 minute deep dive personalized coaching session to help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you moving toward the future you want. We offer a unique form of Men’s Coaching and we attract smart guys who see through surface level hype and bravado. We hide nothing and hold nothing back. We know that everything you want is behind your fear and skepticism…just like it was for us.
