How to Stop Divorce Fear Ruining Your Life
We are going to dive into the dark thoughts and emotions that happen when your wife or girlfriend is “acting single”
How to think and respond when….
A couple of years ago a 125,000 acre wildfire was about 3 miles from burning down my house, barn and the “He Shed/She Shed” you’ve seen me build.
Yeah, really.
I ended up hanging out 40 miles away in the basement of a friend with my girlfriend in tow along with 2 dogs, 3 cats and 2 horses. I’m glad I have good friends I can lean on for help.
It was also good to have a grocery store 8 minutes away and about 25 pubs just 10 minutes away for the first time in my life. And I could still have my coaching sessions and get other projects done.
If the house burnt down, I had insurance. It would have been a huge pain but it wouldn’t have been the end of the world.
You might say, “Damn, you handled that well!” And you would be right.
And so would have you. Am I right?
I bet you typically respond to hardship, difficulty, challenges and unfortunate situations like a WARRIOR. You face it head on – make plans – make stuff happen and plow through. Nothing scares you that much.
Even when things are 100% out of your control, you learn quickly you can RESPOND with clear, decisive action and take the lead. And when you do that you feel better, calmer and more in control of the stuff you can control.
So if us dudes are that good with most of the inconveniences of life, why do we completely lose it when facing rejection or the possibility of divorce?
It’s the ONE FRONTIER where a man can feel not only powerless…but entirely incapable of thinking clearly. The threat of failure, abandonment and upheaval of his “master plan” creates paralysis.
He can’t respond to anything. Everything feels like an emotional reaction…24/7.
And that’s when we normally first hear from him.
Watch this short video about what happens next.
“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning
Viktor Frankl wrote about his experience in a Nazi concentration camp.
He was stripped of everything a man could possibly be stripped of.
Even then he came to the most liberating realization that would change the rest of his life and his profession.
It was the realization – and responsibility – that our secret power is to “choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
When it comes to the discomfort of being rejected and facing possible divorce, you have the same secret power.
Your inherent sense of security, confidence, happiness and inner strength is a state of mind and being that is ever present. Even when you forget that you must realize it is a CHOICE.
Security, confidence, happiness and inner strength was never meant to come from your wife or your marriage. It’s already within you.
We teach men how to FIND THEIR INHERENT VALUE AND CONFIDENCE even in the discomfort of a crumbling relationship.
We help them realize that this choice is a prerequisite to a happy life as a married man or a single man.
And we teach them that the only road to a second chance in their marriage is along the path of becoming a secure, confident, happy, strong man.
This is the road we must find no matter what.
There is no other choice.
If you’re ready for deep, caring conversation about getting back on the right path, submit our contact form . Fill it out completely and get as detailed and vulnerable as you dare!
Either I, Dan or one of our certified coaches will reply quickly to set up a free, no strings conversation to help you slow down and refocus on what is really important.
Or here are some other options for you to keep growing and facing the challenges in your life with confidence:
Free: If you’re serious about building your masculine mojo then apply for a coaching call with us we will help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you feeling confident again.
What do I mean by “SERIOUS”?
- We take YOU and your struggles seriously…because we’ve been there
- We know being called needy is serious
- And we know a lack of clarity about how to change it is serious now and for your long term future happiness
- We believe your personal emotional strength and well-being is serious
- We seriously show up 110% to our conversations with you and expect you to be as serious as we are about changing your life
Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity
$69 Monthly Subscription: Join Dan and I in our Men’s Roundtable Group Coaching membership. We meet three times per month for live group coaching and we support you in a powerful group of men facing the same issues you are. Get instant access to 6 years of recorded sessions. Try it for one month. What have you got to lose?
$497 One-Time Payment: How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a self-paced course with me, Tim Wade, and a community of men learning how to lead when you’ve just heard, “I love you but I’m not in love with you” or “I want to separate or divorce.”
As Teddy Roosevelt said:
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”
If divorce fear has turned you into a man you don’t recognize, it’s time to get your feet back under you.
You may be watching her act single, pull away, take space, or leave you guessing about the future. That can make even a strong man feel helpless, angry, and scared around the clock. At Goodguys2Greatmen, we’ll help you slow down, think clearly, and become the secure man you need to be whether your marriage gets a second chance or not.
Talk to a coach →Q: How do I stop divorce fear from ruining my life?
A: You stop divorce fear from ruining your life by remembering that your strength does not come from your wife staying. You still get to choose your attitude, your next move, and the man you become under pressure. The threat may be real, but panic will not lead you anywhere worth going.
Q: Why can I handle hard life problems but lose it when my wife pulls away?
A: You can handle hard life problems because you know how to take action when the problem is practical. Rejection feels different because it attacks your identity, future, pride, family, and sense of control all at once. A wildfire lets you make a plan. A wife pulling away makes you face yourself.
Q: What should I do when my wife is acting single?
A: When your wife is acting single, don’t let fear turn you into a detective, prosecutor, or begging little boy. Look at what is happening clearly, but keep your own values in charge. Her choices matter, but your first job is to become steady enough to respond instead of reacting all day.
Q: How do I trust myself when I don’t know what my wife will do?
A: You trust yourself by deciding who you’re going to be before you know what she will choose. You may not know whether she’ll stay, leave, or keep asking for space. You can still know your values, your behavior, your attitude, and the kind of man you’ll respect tomorrow.
Q: Is confidence possible when my marriage is falling apart?
A: Confidence is possible when your marriage is falling apart because it was never supposed to depend on the marriage being safe. Your confidence comes from how you meet life, not from controlling her. A secure man can feel pain and still act from strength, honesty, and self-respect.
Q: What if she says she doesn’t know what she wants?
A: If she says she doesn’t know what she wants, don’t try to force certainty out of her so your stomach can calm down. That move usually makes you look weaker and more afraid. Give her words the seriousness they deserve, then put your energy into becoming clear, strong, and grounded yourself.
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Have questions about your relationship?
Apply for a free, no strings, 90 minute deep dive personalized coaching session to help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you moving toward the future you want. We offer a unique form of Men’s Coaching and we attract smart guys who see through surface level hype and bravado. We hide nothing and hold nothing back. We know that everything you want is behind your fear and skepticism…just like it was for us.
