How to Stop Feelings Ruining Your Relationship
First, I want to invite you to our group coaching call today, Thursday 27th March at 12pm mountain time, the topic of the call is “”Living in “Lover Energy” Even When She’s Not Having It!“.
Read the summary of the book Open Her by Karen Brody in the link below and see if any of the descriptions of different types of Masculine energy interest you (be sure to read all the way through to the lover energy section):
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1JRHB4mzY2CNXE1kVKmdDciNEJTc_7Ftc/view?usp=sharing
Here are some of our discussion points:
- Why “lover energy” is more honest than what you’ve been doing
- What IS lover energy anyway…and who is it for?
- How can you express your desire when she’s not interested?
- How can you give “lover energy” when there’s no reciprocation?
- Confronting every man’s secret about sexual confidence and value
This is going to be a great conversation! If you’re looking for a new mindset to keep moving forward, you’ll love this Roundtable session!
If this call sounds interesting to you, join our Men’s Roundtable here.
(You’ll also gain access to 6 years of recorded previous group coaching sessions and our private Facebook community).
I’m not really interested in your “feelings”.
Yeah, I know being a man is tough. Being in a relationship is tough.
But all of it is tougher when you’re being yanked around by your feelings on a daily basis.
Part of being a mature, confident and clear headed man is knowing that while your “feelings” are normal and healthy, they are NOT your reality.
Becoming a master of your emotional world demands that you change your relationship with your “feelings”. This means you’re going to have to change your relationship with your “thoughts”.
Here’s the problem.
Most insecure, nervous and unhappy people have a habit of “living the feeling of their thinking”.
What’s that mean?
It’s means they allow their random thoughts, beliefs and projections to drive an endless parade of negative emotions.
They feel like they are a passenger in a roller coaster of “feeling” and have no particular agency or responsibility for changing the thinking at the root of their constant anxious, angry and/or unhappy reactions to life.
Is this you? Who else do you know who might be living this reality?
I know. This may sound strange to you.
But this wisdom is thousands of years old!
The most confident, calm, wise, clear headed and HAPPY people in the world are those who have come to terms with their own ability – and responsibility – for changing the WAY THEY THINK about the cards they are dealt every day.
This is why I don’t really want to “talk about your feelings”.
I want to talk about your THINKING!
So I will…in this video.
Here’s something NEW to think which I guarantee will change the way you feel.
“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.”
~ Sir William Jones
We have dozens of complimentary consultations every month with men who have been afraid of what they are FEELING.
They use words like lonely, scared, rejected, dismissed, ignored, replaced, inadequate, frustrated, uncertain and confused.
We will spend one to two hours speaking with you to help you immediately relax and focus. We demonstrate the power of having a wise mentor in your corner to challenge your emotional roller coaster and to teach you how to do a better job of thinking about your thinking.
This is our favorite reaction.
“Dude, I just got more out of this call than I’ve gotten from 3 years of freakin’ therapy!! Why isn’t anyone telling men this stuff?!”
What stuff?
1. We talk about what’s really happening with your marriage, wife and sex life.
2. We tell you things about being a man your father never told you…and how you’ve been avoiding the most powerful part of being a man.
3. We take you through an exercise to experience the thrill of changing your perspective and HOW YOU’RE THINKING at this very moment.
That’s when you immediately FEEL something different than just an hour earlier.
Yeah. I know. Sounds crazy. I love this stuff and it’s why I can’t stop writing and talking about it. I want that for you too, brother.
Think about it. Perhaps the most courageous, decisive and masculine thing you can do right now is asking for a chat.
Strong men ask for help. Everyone else sits around waiting for something to change.
Here are some options for you to get started today:
Free: If you’re serious about building your masculine mojo then apply for a coaching call with us we will help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you feeling confident again.
What do I mean by “SERIOUS”?
- We take YOU and your struggles seriously…because we’ve been there
- We know being called needy is serious
- And we know a lack of clarity about how to change it is serious now and for your long term future happiness
- We believe your personal emotional strength and well-being is serious
- We seriously show up 110% to our conversations with you and expect you to be as serious as we are about changing your life
Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity
$69 Monthly Subscription: Join Dan and I in our Men’s Roundtable Group Coaching membership. We meet three times per month for live group coaching and we support you in a powerful group of men facing the same issues you are. Get instant access to 6 years of recorded sessions. Try it for one month. What have you got to lose?
$497 One-Time Payment: How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a self-paced course with me, Tim Wade, and a community of men learning how to lead when you’ve just heard, “I love you but I’m not in love with you” or “I want to separate or divorce.”
As Teddy Roosevelt said:
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”
If your feelings keep running the show at home, it’s time to get a stronger man in the room.
You may feel rejected, ignored, scared, or angry right now. That doesn’t make you weak. It means you need help seeing what your thinking is doing to your marriage before you react from it again. At Goodguys2Greatmen, we’ll help you slow down, get clear, and become the kind of man who can lead himself first.
Talk to a coach →Q: How do I stop my feelings from ruining my relationship?
A: You stop your feelings from ruining your relationship by learning not to obey every thought that creates them. Your fear, anger, and rejection may feel true in the moment, but they often come from the story you’re telling yourself. A clear-headed man notices the feeling, checks the thinking under it, and chooses his next move on purpose.
Q: Are my feelings always telling me the truth about my marriage?
A: Your feelings are not always telling you the truth about your marriage. They tell you what your current thinking feels like inside your body. If you’re thinking she doesn’t care, you’re going to feel dismissed. If you’re thinking you’re powerless, you’re going to feel scared. The feeling is real, but the thought may be wrong.
Q: Why does Steve say he doesn’t want to talk about my feelings?
A: Steve says he doesn’t want to talk about your feelings because the real work starts with the thinking behind them. Talking about hurt can help for a while, but it won’t change much if you keep believing the same fearful thoughts. The man who learns to question his thinking starts changing how he feels almost immediately.
Q: What does “living the feeling of your thinking” mean?
A: “Living the feeling of your thinking” means you treat every anxious, angry, or rejected feeling as reality instead of seeing it as a reaction to your thoughts. You become a passenger on the roller coaster. One bad thought about your wife turns into a bad mood, then a bad conversation, then another night of distance.
Q: Isn’t it unhealthy for a man to ignore his feelings?
A: Ignoring your feelings is not strength, but being ruled by them isn’t strength either. A mature man can feel lonely, rejected, or scared without handing those feelings the keys to his mouth and his behavior. The goal isn’t to become cold. The goal is to become steady enough to choose wisely while you still feel the storm.
Q: When should I ask for help with this?
A: You should ask for help when your emotional reactions keep making your marriage worse and you can’t seem to stop the pattern alone. Strong men don’t sit around waiting for their wife, mood, or sex life to fix them. In coaching, a man can get clear faster because another man can challenge the thinking he can’t see yet.
Author 
Have questions about your relationship?
Apply for a free, no strings, 90 minute deep dive personalized coaching session to help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you moving toward the future you want. We offer a unique form of Men’s Coaching and we attract smart guys who see through surface level hype and bravado. We hide nothing and hold nothing back. We know that everything you want is behind your fear and skepticism…just like it was for us.
