How To Save Your Relationship And Become The Man You Want To Be

The critical difference between reacting to your environment and shaping it – picking the wrong one almost never has a happy ending.

This is not a scientific discussion so don’t expect a lot of mumbo-jumbo about Darwin and “survival of the fittest” stuff.

I have only one point to make and it’s a warning about your future. Yes, I can predict it with stunning accuracy.


I’ve got good data. I see it every day.

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I see men who achieve massive clarity, confidence and strength in their lives when just one switch flips in their mindset.

And I see other men who wallow in unhappiness, frustration and self-pity when they can’t find that switch.

The one factor determining which man you will be is the answer to this question.

Do you typically react to your environment or do you expect your environment to react to you?

Evolved Man Type I

This man is a classic evolutionary example.

He sees the world and his life as a whirlwind of variables that happen to him. His default mode is one of reaction – defensiveness. Quiet submission.

Changes in his life occur without warning and without permission. His only option is to adapt. He accepts the pressures of environmental flux as his fate. This pisses him off.

He agonizes over every decision in his life as if the consequences could ruin him. He decides it is safer to not decide at all.

He believes his very survival depends on his ability to quietly bend to the will of the world.

This belief will ruin his life in every respect.

Some call him disadvantaged. Some call him unlucky.

He agrees with them.

Evolved Man Type II

This man is a renegade.

He doesn’t believe in “passive evolution”. He believes in “proactive evolution”. The world doesn’t happen to him. He happens to the world.

He expects the world to bend to his will. To his dreams. To his intention to create his own happiness.

He doesn’t wait for change to happen to him because he is too busy creating changes of his own. He sees everything he does as a simple response – a course correction – on the way to his destiny.

Changes in his life are merely stepping stones – not barriers. His only option is to use those obstacles for improving his game and becoming wiser. The pressure of uncertainty is his lifeblood – his fuel.

Every decision he makes is less important than his response to the consequences of that decision. With this mindset he moves swiftly. It appears effortless to the less informed.

He believes his very survival depends on his ability to make decisions, learn quickly and keep moving toward his goal.

This belief improves his life in every respect.

Some call him brave. Other just call him lucky.

He knows differently. He can’t explain it because they wouldn’t get it.

Which Will You Choose?

You can choose to be Evolved Man Type I or Type II.

Many men will suffocate themselves with books, articles, videos and CD training modules all designed to awaken them. They will ride the rollercoaster through the peaks and valleys of personal development, spiritual growth and self-actualization. It’s like brain candy – sweet and satisfying. Contentment wraps them in her arms.

Then their stomach growls. Hungry for more. They are faced with a decision. They must take a stand. Or maybe some action is required on their part.

At this point Type I men will return to the libraries of shelf-help-hell for another serving from the all-you-can-eat dessert bar. They may attend just one more webinar, workshop or retreat. Anything to avoid making a decision. Anything to avoid the risk of the unknown. It is easier to let the world happen to them.

The Type II man will also feast at the personal growth buffet. But he knows when to stop.

He chooses to find his comfort in the certainty and momentum of his forward motion. His books are his tools for action. And he knows by taking action…wisdom will always be his reward.

And the world quietly bends to his will, his dreams, and his intention.

What’s this got to do with men and marriage? Everything.

If you want to learn more about how to take a bigger step toward being a clear-headed, confident man of action, then find out more here. I would be thrilled to help you get there – our first discovery call is always free and always gives you a BIG boost of confidence.

You WILL become a clearer, stronger, more confident man only through other men. Your woman cannot take you there – and she doesn’t WANT to…trust me on that.

My new book Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband will help you to lead yourself and your relationship back to good health. Understand why your partner acts the way she does toward you and learn how to lead your life in the direction you want it to go. You CAN have the relationship you want, fulfilling all your desires while maintaining love and respect.

I wrote a free e-book to help men learn how to lose their fear and be more bold in their marriage to create the love and connection they want. Get The Hard to Swallow Truth About Saving Your Marriage.

Photo: Richard Foster / Flickr

author avatar
Dan Dore Certified Professional Men’s Coach
Dan Dore has been a professional Men’s Coach specialising in helping men who are lacking confidence, unhappy and unfulfilled in their life and relationships. Dan has 10 years experience coaching men to improve their self-confidence issues and improve their ability to create more emotional connection, more trust, more respect, and to learn how to lead the sexual intimacy and affection in their relationship whenever they want. If you're tired of dealing with rejection and criticism, Dan will help you challenge the current status, stand up for what you want to change and finally be happy in yourself and your ability to create the kind of connection and passionate life that you really want.
The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

This is the secret your dad never told you about – You have more power than you know.

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