How To Save Your Relationship And Become The Man You Want To Be

The critical difference between reacting to your environment and shaping it – picking the wrong one almost never has a happy ending.

This is not a scientific discussion so don’t expect a lot of mumbo-jumbo about Darwin and “survival of the fittest” stuff.

I have only one point to make and it’s a warning about your future. Yes, I can predict it with stunning accuracy.


I’ve got good data. I see it every day.

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I see men who achieve massive clarity, confidence and strength in their lives when just one switch flips in their mindset.

And I see other men who wallow in unhappiness, frustration and self-pity when they can’t find that switch.

The one factor determining which man you will be is the answer to this question.

Do you typically react to your environment or do you expect your environment to react to you?

Evolved Man Type I

This man is a classic evolutionary example.

He sees the world and his life as a whirlwind of variables that happen to him. His default mode is one of reaction – defensiveness. Quiet submission.

Changes in his life occur without warning and without permission. His only option is to adapt. He accepts the pressures of environmental flux as his fate. This pisses him off.

He agonizes over every decision in his life as if the consequences could ruin him. He decides it is safer to not decide at all.

He believes his very survival depends on his ability to quietly bend to the will of the world.

This belief will ruin his life in every respect.

Some call him disadvantaged. Some call him unlucky.

He agrees with them.

Evolved Man Type II

This man is a renegade.

He doesn’t believe in “passive evolution”. He believes in “proactive evolution”. The world doesn’t happen to him. He happens to the world.

He expects the world to bend to his will. To his dreams. To his intention to create his own happiness.

He doesn’t wait for change to happen to him because he is too busy creating changes of his own. He sees everything he does as a simple response – a course correction – on the way to his destiny.

Changes in his life are merely stepping stones – not barriers. His only option is to use those obstacles for improving his game and becoming wiser. The pressure of uncertainty is his lifeblood – his fuel.

Every decision he makes is less important than his response to the consequences of that decision. With this mindset he moves swiftly. It appears effortless to the less informed.

He believes his very survival depends on his ability to make decisions, learn quickly and keep moving toward his goal.

This belief improves his life in every respect.

Some call him brave. Other just call him lucky.

He knows differently. He can’t explain it because they wouldn’t get it.

Which Will You Choose?

You can choose to be Evolved Man Type I or Type II.

Many men will suffocate themselves with books, articles, videos and CD training modules all designed to awaken them. They will ride the rollercoaster through the peaks and valleys of personal development, spiritual growth and self-actualization. It’s like brain candy – sweet and satisfying. Contentment wraps them in her arms.

Then their stomach growls. Hungry for more. They are faced with a decision. They must take a stand. Or maybe some action is required on their part.

At this point Type I men will return to the libraries of shelf-help-hell for another serving from the all-you-can-eat dessert bar. They may attend just one more webinar, workshop or retreat. Anything to avoid making a decision. Anything to avoid the risk of the unknown. It is easier to let the world happen to them.

The Type II man will also feast at the personal growth buffet. But he knows when to stop.

He chooses to find his comfort in the certainty and momentum of his forward motion. His books are his tools for action. And he knows by taking action…wisdom will always be his reward.

And the world quietly bends to his will, his dreams, and his intention.

What’s this got to do with men and marriage? Everything.

If you want to learn more about how to take a bigger step toward being a clear-headed, confident man of action, then find out more here. I would be thrilled to help you get there – our first discovery call is always free and always gives you a BIG boost of confidence.

You WILL become a clearer, stronger, more confident man only through other men. Your woman cannot take you there – and she doesn’t WANT to…trust me on that.

My new book Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband will help you to lead yourself and your relationship back to good health. Understand why your partner acts the way she does toward you and learn how to lead your life in the direction you want it to go. You CAN have the relationship you want, fulfilling all your desires while maintaining love and respect.

I wrote a free e-book to help men learn how to lose their fear and be more bold in their marriage to create the love and connection they want. Get The Hard to Swallow Truth About Saving Your Marriage HERE

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Photo: Richard Foster / Flickr

author avatar
Dan Dore Certified Professional Men’s Coach
Dan Dore is a certified professional Men’s Coach specialising in helping men who are struggling and feeling unhappy and unfulfilled i their life and relationships. With over 20,000 hours experience coaching men to completely resolve their self-esteem and confidence issues and improve their ability to create emotional connection, build trust, earn respect, and lead the sexual intimacy and affection in their relationship whenever they want. No more fearing rejection or other people’s opinion of you - I want to help you finally be happy in yourself and trust your ability to create anything you want in your future.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is our coaching right for you?

Our coaching process was created for men who want to feel happier and more fulfilled in their life and relationships. We teach you how to have more confidence and clarity about what you want in your life and create an action plan to start making it happen.

Do you only work with men in marriage?

While our coaching teaches you how to create a more connected, more fun and passionate marriage, we also work with you to have more clarity, enthusiasm and fulfillment in all areas of your life. We help you understand what you really want your future to look like and we also teach you how to be in control of your emotions so that you can be confident and assertive no matter how difficult your circumstances are right now .

What happens in the free 90-minute coaching call?

In our free initial coaching calls, we listen a lot, we ask you questions to understand what life is really like for you at the moment, we help you identify what you want to be different and what's holding you back from creating those changes now. Then we help you create a practical plan of action to start moving forward straight away.

What will I learn in your coaching programs?

We take you through a process to:

  • Stop being tentative and become more focused and directed.
  • Develop control over your thoughts and emotions like never before.
  • Become a master of the masculine and feminine dance required for a more passionate connection in your romantic relationships.
  • Build and sustain your personal masculine confidence so that you don't get "triggered" or feel disrespected and can respond with strength and confidence to any situation.
  • Become more connected, aware and present with everyone (this is a critical step in your ability to build attraction and desire as well as have people trust you and respect you more).
  • Stop the destructive emotions of anger and resentment which keep you going around in frustrating cycles and start from moving forward with purpose.
  • Stop being anxious, needy and overly reliant upon other people's opinions and approval of you and start feeling more peace, happiness and a deep sense of being a man who is confident in himself again.
  • You will become a confident man who knows his values, what he wants and where he’s going in his life.
  • You will learn how to think, speak and act according to your values without worrying about reactions from others.
  • You become clear and confident in your ability to create intimacy whenever you want.
  • Your confidence will be something that you start to rely on and trust in every part of your life.

How does the Men's Roundtable work?

Our Men's Roundtable membership gives you access to 3 live group coaching calls per month hosted by Steve and Dan as well as access to over 5 years of previously recorded group coaching calls, an invitation to our private facebook group, and ongoing assignments and resources to help you grow and develop as a confident masculine man. It's like having a personal coach in your pocket, ready to help whenever you need it.

What's the difference between the 1-to-1 coaching and group coaching?

Firstly, anyone who is in our 1-to-1 coaching program automatically receives access to the Men's Roundtable membership and group coaching for free for life. The difference between 1-to-1 and group coaching is down to the speed of change that you want to happen. With more personal time and attention from your coach, the 1-to-1 program is adapted to your specific circumstances and will provide the practical advice you need to know what to think, say and do to create what you want your future to be.

What kind of man is right for your coaching?

We work with men who are willing to take the lead in creating the changes they want in their life and relationships. We only work with men who want to understand their fears, insecurities and shame triggers. We teach you practical ways to deal with the mental and emotional challenges life throws at you and help you reach an unshakeable confidence in yourself (often for the first time in your life).

  • You won’t find negative, hateful language.
  • You won’t find a gender war – we don’t bash women.
  • You won’t find bitching, whining, complaining, and blaming.
  • You won’t find a group of men acting like victims.
  • You won’t find judgment or criticism from others.

We don't waste our time with all those things because we want to take the most efficient and effective path to creating the future you want. So we focus only on the things that are within your control: your thoughts, your words and your actions.

How do I know if I need coaching?

If you are feeling unhappy a lot of the time, if you're lonely, drained, lost, stuck or trapped, then our coaching will help. If you're not sure where your life is headed, if you're not confident in yourself, if you're not sure what you really want in life anymore...our coaching will help.

Whether it’s your job, your intimate relationship, or just wanting to feel more happy and with more purpose, then our coaching will help.

If you are tired of settling for a mediocre life or relationship, tolerating criticism and a lack of fun and intimacy and you're done with placating and playing it safe, then our coaching will help.

We will help you have clarity about what you're REALLY passionate about. We'll get you clear about where you want to be in six months and in six years. We help you figure out what you really want to create vs what other people think you should do.

We help you take action, get unstuck, start moving forward. We help you find what matters instead of just "being busy" in the daily grind. We help you figure out how you're going to get from where you are now to where you want to be.

For many of the guys we work with, they find a peace and a sense of emotional freedom that has them shaking their heads and smiling at how they used to approach life. They feel passionate about life again. They build stronger relationships with the people that matter most to them. They feel satisfied and fulfilled that they have finally found the “right path” forward and life starts to feel fun and inspiring again.

So now you've read that...what do you think? Would YOU like to try some of our coaching for free?

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

This is the secret your dad never told you about – You have more power than you know.

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