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Why Has My Wife Stopped Wanting Sex With Me?

The topic for today’s article is one of the most common questions we get asked and one of the biggest sources of frustration for men in their marriage or long term relationship. Why doesn’t she initiate intimacy? Why do I have to do everything to make this a relationship rather than just a platonic friendship? How can she be happy without an intimate connection? What can I do to change this? Our first response is always to look into how you THINK about your current situation. Most of the time you’re so focused on what she says or what you think she’s thinking that you have no idea what’s really … Continue reading →

My Wife Said I’m Controlling, What Do I Do Now?

Sometimes we get our best ideas at the most awkward times…like on the toilet. There I was, reading an old issue of Rolling Stones magazine and an interview with the late Glenn Frey of the band The Eagles. My favorite band of all time, by the way. Anyway, I read a quote he made during an interview and it gave me a flash of insight – an idea – and there was no pen in sight. The interviewer commented how amazing it was that the band could so closely reproduce in live concert the perfect vocal harmonies and instrumentation they achieved on their records. Glenn said, “Yeah, with so many … Continue reading →

How Overreacting Reduces the Affection in Your Marriage

I say this about 20 times a week. STAY IN YOUR LANE, BROTHER! I say it to men who are stumbling into negativity, dark thoughts and unnecessary conflict. But what does it mean? It means to stop driving into the drama created by others. It means to stop believing every bad day is a sign that something is wrong. And when things are going great, don’t get caught up in believing they will always be great. Life is an experience of ups and downs…highs and lows. But if you don’t know where YOUR LANE is, you’ll drive all over the freaking road feeling out of control…a victim of circumstances. If … Continue reading →

Being More Confident and Masculine in Your Marriage

Some days I can feel like a big fat wuss. You? You know those days of camping out too long on the couch…putting off a list of things you want to do but just can’t find the energy. Sometimes our mojo (self-worth and self-confidence) just takes a major dive and leaves us feeling weak and insignificant. Most men can remember a time in their life when they felt pretty cocksure about themselves. Maybe it was in school, sports, games, technology…whatever. There’s usually a time in our life we can remember when we thought we were doing okay and actually had a little badassery going on. Then the time comes in … Continue reading →

My Wife Doesn’t Love Me Anymore, What Can I Do?

The most common questions we get asked every day often sound very similar: What can I do when my wife has told me she needs space, that she feels smothered, that she’s not sure what she feels for me anymore or that she feels numb? Most of us are knocked sideways when we hear her say these words and the surprise makes us panic and try to urgently fix what’s going wrong in our relationship. As many of you already know, that reaction just magnifies the problem. In this video Steve and I discuss what you can do when she’s backing away from you to attract her back toward you. … Continue reading →

Turn Your Angry Wife Into a Purring Pussycat

Since I don’t have kids, I don’t normally give much parenting advice. Although the “man skills” I teach are totally transferable to parenting nothing beats a great true story to illustrate a point. My buddy, Jeff, told me a story today about his unruly 15-year-old who went ballistic when Jeff took his phone away. I don’t just mean ballistic. I mean all out warfare. What do you do when someone with a 15-year-old mindset and maturity does something so outrageous that you feel like throwing him through a wall? I found out the answer today when Jeff shared this great story. I love how he handled it. Jeff Allen is … Continue reading →

How to Be a Naturally Confident and Attractive Man

calm mountain lion is like a confident man

The mountain lion speaks to me because he’s the perfect metaphor for cool, calm, confident masculinity. And he achieves this not by DOING anything in particular…he just IS. This is what makes him so regal – so magnetic – so attractive. It’s the mystery of his fierce energy and his quiet resolve. He’s focused and engaged while detached and relaxed at the same time. He seems entirely self-satisfied and unrattled by drama. They say “the lion doesn’t turn around when the small dog barks”. And a Nigerian proverb says “The roaring lion kills no prey.” He doesn’t over-react. He speaks less and listens more. He responds calmly and does only … Continue reading →

How to Initiate Sex and Not Get Rejected

This article may piss off a few people…but I don’t care. Tough love is hard to swallow and I’ve had to swallow my fair share. When is the BEST time to ask a woman for sex? Answer: When you don’t NEED it. The worst time to ask for a job, a loan, a date or sex is when you desperately think you NEED it. People smell this a mile away and it shows up in your eyes, your voice, your body and even the muscles in your jaw. Too simple you say? I think not. This is a UNIVERSAL principle that applies in nearly every facet of life, business and … Continue reading →

Become More Attractive to Your Wife By Stopping This One Thing

An everyday conversation with a wishy-washy person. You: Hey man, I have 3 tickets for the playoff game this Saturday at 1pm. I want you to take the 3rd ticket and come with Bill and I. I’m driving and can pick you up at 11am. It’s going to be a blast. Do you want to join us? Wishy-Washy Friend: “Umm…yeah…that sounds pretty good…I think…umm thanks…I mean…that should probably work…I guess…lemme see…umm…yeah.” What’s my point here? Don’t be that guy. Nobody likes that guy. Nobody. I’m not talking about being uncertain when someone asks, Do you know the surface temperature of the sun? If you don’t know something then saying NO … Continue reading →

My Wife Doesn’t Want to Spend Time With Me, What Can I Do?

There’s this unbelievable vacation spot I’m in love with. It’s a sprawling Spanish style home, 7500 square feet, immaculate, stunning home perched on top of a mountain overlooking a village on the Pacific coast of Mexico. It’s got a gourmet kitchen that comes with a private chef and daily maid service. The food is amazing, the weather is perfect and the people are so friendly. You can walk down the mountain in just minutes for an early morning coffee, horseback ride or to grab a surf board and get another few runs in before lunch time. At night, I like to hang out with friends in the infinity pool and … Continue reading →