How to Create an Intimate Connection with Your Wife – by Dan Dore

I want to talk to you about something that’s very close to my heart.

It’s something that has affected every area of my life in a positive way. In particular it has benefited my relationship with my wife and 3 kids enormously. It brought me back from a place of fear and insecurity and reminded me who I really was.

I wanted to make this article for those of you in a relationship that is struggling. Where you feel like you’re constantly worried and walking on eggshells.

When we find ourselves in the midst of a crisis, we often try anything and everything to make things better, to get back to being calm and relaxed again. But when your wife or partner is keeping you at a distance it’s hard, what do you do?

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If she’s constantly upset or angry, how can you connect with her?

In this video I discuss the best tool to connect emotionally with your wife and start rebuilding your relationship on some solid foundations.

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What we’re talking about is being able to trust in WHO YOU ARE, trusting again in WHO YOU KNOW YOURSELF TO BE and then being able to BELIEVE IN YOUR FUTURE again.

It all comes down to HONESTY.

I had to come back to this understanding, to re-learn it and I’m so glad I did because it has affected so many areas of my life in such a positive way.

It’s a question of being honest about who you are, what you feel, what you’re thinking and then communicating that with the people you care about, those that are closest to you.

Communicating what you REALLY THINK and REALLY TRULY FEEL is the best way for you to move forward in CREATING the life and relationship that you want to experience.

Sometimes communicating 100% honestly receives an unexpected response from the person you’re talking to. It can put pressure on them, it can make them face up to something they have been trying to avoid, it can be something they just don’t want to hear.

But there’s one certainty with being honest – it ALWAYS creates a connection.

Being honest also makes life so much easier – as always I’m advising myself .

When you’re being 100% honest with those around you, there’s no hiding of feelings, there’s no pretending to be OK when you’re not, there’s no changing who you’re being or what you’re saying to try and fit other people’s perception of you or to try and please other people.

You’re no longer trying to hit any of those moving targets. And you don’t measure yourself by how others react to you either.

It’s incredibly freeing!

You’re finally just working with what you have control over which is what you do, what you say and how you’re being.

Anything other than focusing on those three areas means you’re trying to control the situation or another person’s behavior – but you have no control over those things – so you’re really just creating your own discomfort and frustration.

When we communicate with honesty we do two incredibly important things.
We stand up for ourselves and build some self-respect, some self-worth and confidence

We create a connection with the person we’re communicating with

Many people think small lies in a relationship can be ok and can avoid hurting your partner. But without honesty there is no trust.

And a relationship that lacks trust is often tense and devoid of real affection.

When you lead with honesty you will start to build the trust again. When the trust builds, it removes a large potential for worry. And when worry leaves, in comes safety, relaxation and connection.

Creating an honest relationship builds a cushion between you and the difficulties of the world. Having a partner you can trust and rely on also makes it easier to take the risks that help us grow.

You can’t have a culture of honesty in your relationship just some of the time.

Honesty isn’t just about telling the truth either. It’s about holding yourself to account for how you show up. And sometimes holding your partner to account for how they show up too.

Honesty can be brutal so it pays to be considerate with your wording.

If honesty is a value you hold for your relationship, we firmly believe that if you lead, others will follow.

If you keep honesty at the heart of your interactions, you’ll find that the difficulties become less and the connection and affection continues to grow.

If you want to improve your honesty and hold yourself accountable to being a better man, we would love to help you become so clear in what you want to experience in your relationship over the next 20 years that you embrace those difficult conversations and start CREATING the life that you want.

What if this next year everything changed for you?

That’s what we want for you brother.

Books, articles and videos are great but to really make quick progress and get to a point where you’re consistently calm, confident and enthusiastic about life again you need other men who understand what you’re going through and who will challenge you to make the changes that you need to make.

Come and join us, either through 1-on-1 coaching with my colleague Dan Dore or me, or in our group coaching program with other amazing men who are travelling the same path as you right now in our Men’s Live Coaching Roundtable where we will help you re-find the confident, attractive man you know yourself to be.

Come and try our coaching through our Roundtable live coaching program here. There’s an amazing tribe of guys in this group with us, supporting and helping each other through this process of growth and self-realization.

We love teaching men these tools – how to be better, how to know who you are, what you stand for, what you want and how to CREATE it in your life through our Masculine Confidence coaching programs.

Dan and I are here to guide you on this mission.

If you want to become a man who knows and trusts himself to create the life and love he wants, apply for a free consultation call with me or Dan. I guarantee you’ll feel a whole lot better by the end of our talk.

My new book Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband will help you to lead yourself and your relationship back to good health. Understand why your partner acts the way she does toward you and learn how to lead your life in the direction you want it to go. You CAN have the relationship you want, fulfilling all your desires while maintaining love and respect.

I wrote a free e-book to help men learn how to lose their fear and be more bold in their marriage to create the love and connection they want. Get The Hard to Swallow Truth About Saving Your Marriage HERE

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You can watch all my videos here and read my blog articles here.

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author avatar
Dan Dore Certified Professional Men’s Coach
Dan Dore is a certified professional Men’s Coach specialising in helping men who are struggling and feeling unhappy and unfulfilled i their life and relationships. With over 20,000 hours experience coaching men to completely resolve their self-esteem and confidence issues and improve their ability to create emotional connection, build trust, earn respect, and lead the sexual intimacy and affection in their relationship whenever they want. No more fearing rejection or other people’s opinion of you - I want to help you finally be happy in yourself and trust your ability to create anything you want in your future.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is our coaching right for you?

Our coaching process was created for men who want to feel happier and more fulfilled in their life and relationships. We teach you how to have more confidence and clarity about what you want in your life and create an action plan to start making it happen.

Do you only work with men in marriage?

While our coaching teaches you how to create a more connected, more fun and passionate marriage, we also work with you to have more clarity, enthusiasm and fulfillment in all areas of your life. We help you understand what you really want your future to look like and we also teach you how to be in control of your emotions so that you can be confident and assertive no matter how difficult your circumstances are right now .

What happens in the free 90-minute coaching call?

In our free initial coaching calls, we listen a lot, we ask you questions to understand what life is really like for you at the moment, we help you identify what you want to be different and what's holding you back from creating those changes now. Then we help you create a practical plan of action to start moving forward straight away.

What will I learn in your coaching programs?

We take you through a process to:

  • Stop being tentative and become more focused and directed.
  • Develop control over your thoughts and emotions like never before.
  • Become a master of the masculine and feminine dance required for a more passionate connection in your romantic relationships.
  • Build and sustain your personal masculine confidence so that you don't get "triggered" or feel disrespected and can respond with strength and confidence to any situation.
  • Become more connected, aware and present with everyone (this is a critical step in your ability to build attraction and desire as well as have people trust you and respect you more).
  • Stop the destructive emotions of anger and resentment which keep you going around in frustrating cycles and start from moving forward with purpose.
  • Stop being anxious, needy and overly reliant upon other people's opinions and approval of you and start feeling more peace, happiness and a deep sense of being a man who is confident in himself again.
  • You will become a confident man who knows his values, what he wants and where he’s going in his life.
  • You will learn how to think, speak and act according to your values without worrying about reactions from others.
  • You become clear and confident in your ability to create intimacy whenever you want.
  • Your confidence will be something that you start to rely on and trust in every part of your life.

How does the Men's Roundtable work?

Our Men's Roundtable membership gives you access to 3 live group coaching calls per month hosted by Steve and Dan as well as access to over 5 years of previously recorded group coaching calls, an invitation to our private facebook group, and ongoing assignments and resources to help you grow and develop as a confident masculine man. It's like having a personal coach in your pocket, ready to help whenever you need it.

What's the difference between the 1-to-1 coaching and group coaching?

Firstly, anyone who is in our 1-to-1 coaching program automatically receives access to the Men's Roundtable membership and group coaching for free for life. The difference between 1-to-1 and group coaching is down to the speed of change that you want to happen. With more personal time and attention from your coach, the 1-to-1 program is adapted to your specific circumstances and will provide the practical advice you need to know what to think, say and do to create what you want your future to be.

What kind of man is right for your coaching?

We work with men who are willing to take the lead in creating the changes they want in their life and relationships. We only work with men who want to understand their fears, insecurities and shame triggers. We teach you practical ways to deal with the mental and emotional challenges life throws at you and help you reach an unshakeable confidence in yourself (often for the first time in your life).

  • You won’t find negative, hateful language.
  • You won’t find a gender war – we don’t bash women.
  • You won’t find bitching, whining, complaining, and blaming.
  • You won’t find a group of men acting like victims.
  • You won’t find judgment or criticism from others.

We don't waste our time with all those things because we want to take the most efficient and effective path to creating the future you want. So we focus only on the things that are within your control: your thoughts, your words and your actions.

How do I know if I need coaching?

If you are feeling unhappy a lot of the time, if you're lonely, drained, lost, stuck or trapped, then our coaching will help. If you're not sure where your life is headed, if you're not confident in yourself, if you're not sure what you really want in life anymore...our coaching will help.

Whether it’s your job, your intimate relationship, or just wanting to feel more happy and with more purpose, then our coaching will help.

If you are tired of settling for a mediocre life or relationship, tolerating criticism and a lack of fun and intimacy and you're done with placating and playing it safe, then our coaching will help.

We will help you have clarity about what you're REALLY passionate about. We'll get you clear about where you want to be in six months and in six years. We help you figure out what you really want to create vs what other people think you should do.

We help you take action, get unstuck, start moving forward. We help you find what matters instead of just "being busy" in the daily grind. We help you figure out how you're going to get from where you are now to where you want to be.

For many of the guys we work with, they find a peace and a sense of emotional freedom that has them shaking their heads and smiling at how they used to approach life. They feel passionate about life again. They build stronger relationships with the people that matter most to them. They feel satisfied and fulfilled that they have finally found the “right path” forward and life starts to feel fun and inspiring again.

So now you've read that...what do you think? Would YOU like to try some of our coaching for free?

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

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