My Wife Doesn’t Love Me Anymore, What Can I Do?

The most common questions we get asked every day often sound very similar:

What can I do when my wife has told me she needs space, that she feels smothered, that she’s not sure what she feels for me anymore or that she feels numb?

Most of us are knocked sideways when we hear her say these words and the surprise makes us panic and try to urgently fix what’s going wrong in our relationship.

As many of you already know, that reaction just magnifies the problem.

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In this video Steve and I discuss what you can do when she’s backing away from you to attract her back toward you.

When you do this you not only become more attractive to her, you also build your self-esteem, self-worth and self-confidence at the same time

Watch the video below to see our discussion:

YouTube video

When a woman asks for space, most of the advice on the internet and from friends tells you to “get rid of her” or “lay down the law” or use one of a million different ‘secret’ tricks to ‘get her to do what you want’.

But we’re not talking about a situation where she’s confused about your attraction to her or your desire to be with her. She knows you want her, in fact that’s part of the problem for her.

She’s feeling pressured and overwhelmed by your need for her attention, affection, connection and intimacy.

When there has been a period of clingyness, neediness or pressure to fix what’s wrong with a relationship, it’s quite natural for the person on the receiving end to feel smothered and to back away.

If the woman you love is pulling away, being able to give them that space is not only the best way to attract them back, but it’s also your only option. Anything else will feel like you’re not considerate of her feelings and will just push her further away.

When we step back and give her some space we do two important things:

We show that we’re listening, that we understand and have compassion for her

We show that we can handle difficult situations with undertanding, confidence and maturity

Attraction when a woman is fearful, pressured, feeling numb or feeling smothered is created by backing away, just a little bit.

And as a by product of releasing some of your need to be connected to her, you also learn that your world does not come crashing down around you, you’re still alive, you’re OK.

In fact if you use some of the extra time to do something you really enjoy, now you’re better than OK.

When she feels less smothered, less pressured and less responsible for your wellbeing, she can relax, she can start to feel that you care more about her than you do about how she’s being toward you right now and this creates a feeling of safety for her.

A woman can only be affectionate toward you when she feels safe and relaxed with you.

When a woman is pulling away from you, needing more space and indicating she’s not happy, you have to know, it’s not that she’s not happy with you. It’s just that she’s not happy.

The best thing you can give her…the most attractive strength you can show her, is staying calm, being patience and giving distance. She needs to know that you’re OK even if she isn’t OK. She needs to feel that you’re going to be fine even if she’s still searching for her identity and wellbeing.

So my advice for you when you hear anything like “I need space”, “I feel caged”, “I feel like you’re smothering me”, is to let go…take a deep breath and back off.

At this point, you have to talk to other men, because you do have a need to talk about this. You need to communicate, to vent and be vulnerable, and talk about your fears.

You can’t talk about it with her, because that’s even more pressure and will push her further away and the more we do that, the less respect and attraction she can feel for us.

If this is happening in your relationship and you want to talk to men who’ve been in your shoes and who know how you feel and can help, we would love to support you. Go to THIS CONTACT FORM to request your private, 45 minute “Attract Her Back Consultation” with Steve or me (Dan) in the UK.

Feedback from a man who recently experienced one of these calls was:

“I can’t tell you how good our call was for me…thank you! I listen to Steve’s blog videos daily…and yeah I need more male companions…hard to find where I am. My wife is coming home tomorrow and I’m feeling more on top of things already…”

How can you have rock solid self-confidence and be able to stay consistent and secure in your self-esteem even when you’re in the middle of a rejection or a conflict?

That’s what we help guys understand and start living here at Goodguys2Greatmen. That’s our passion.

We want to help you rediscover the aliveness that’s available in your future.

We want you to know that the pain that you may be feeling right now doesn’t define you. It doesn’t define your future. You have more control than you think.

We’d love to have a conversation with you about this.

When we have a conversation, they can go 60 or 90 minutes and we cover everything that’s going on in your life. Everything she’s said, everything you’re feeling…

And what we want you to do, is walk away from this phone call, feeling like you have a glimmer of hope, that maybe the way you were thinking before the call was driving you into a pit of despair and we want to pull you out of that, at least for a day.

How do you learn how to be calm, confident and attractive?

It’s done with the help of other men who have traveled your path. You must surround yourself with men who can help you change your mindset, your perspective and, ultimately, how you FEEL ABOUT YOU.

The problem most of us have is that we have no men in our lives to talk to about this who get it, have been through it and come out the other side. We’ve got nobody we can trust to give us clear feedback and positive support and guidance.

So what’s next?

I’ve created a powerfully EFFECTIVE experience and for you that promises to give you the calm, confident, peaceful mojo you want.

The very FASTEST way to change the way you’re thinking and find your confidence again is to join other men doing the same thing.

Here are some options for you to join us and start creating a whole new reality for yourself:

The Men’s Live Coaching Roundtable is a powerful collection of men from around the world working together to transform themselves and their relationships. Dan Dore and I lead this community with 5 other professional coaches. We have live coaching video calls twice per month. The camaraderie in this group is something missing from the lives of too many men in the world.

The MEXICO MOJO MASTERY retreat for March 2020 is now 40% full! This is an advanced retreat for men who have had one-on-one coaching or have attended other retreats.and we can’t wait to meet up again in Punta Mita at the Hacienda Alegra. Click that link for some mind-blowing pics.

We love teaching men these tools – how to be better, how to know who you are, what you stand for, what you want and how to CREATE it in your life through our Masculine Confidence coaching programs.

What if this next year everything changed for you?

That’s what we want for you brother.

My new book Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband will help you to lead yourself and your relationship back to good health. Understand why your partner acts the way she does toward you and learn how to lead your life in the direction you want it to go. You CAN have the relationship you want, fulfilling all your desires while maintaining love and respect.

I wrote a free e-book to help men learn how to lose their fear and be more bold in their marriage to create the love and connection they want. Get The Hard to Swallow Truth About Saving Your Marriage HERE

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You can watch all my videos here and read my blog articles here.

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author avatar
Dan Dore Certified Professional Men’s Coach
Dan Dore is a certified professional Men’s Coach specialising in helping men who are struggling and feeling unhappy and unfulfilled i their life and relationships. With over 20,000 hours experience coaching men to completely resolve their self-esteem and confidence issues and improve their ability to create emotional connection, build trust, earn respect, and lead the sexual intimacy and affection in their relationship whenever they want. No more fearing rejection or other people’s opinion of you - I want to help you finally be happy in yourself and trust your ability to create anything you want in your future.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is our coaching right for you?

Our coaching process was created for men who want to feel happier and more fulfilled in their life and relationships. We teach you how to have more confidence and clarity about what you want in your life and create an action plan to start making it happen.

Do you only work with men in marriage?

While our coaching teaches you how to create a more connected, more fun and passionate marriage, we also work with you to have more clarity, enthusiasm and fulfillment in all areas of your life. We help you understand what you really want your future to look like and we also teach you how to be in control of your emotions so that you can be confident and assertive no matter how difficult your circumstances are right now .

What happens in the free 90-minute coaching call?

In our free initial coaching calls, we listen a lot, we ask you questions to understand what life is really like for you at the moment, we help you identify what you want to be different and what's holding you back from creating those changes now. Then we help you create a practical plan of action to start moving forward straight away.

What will I learn in your coaching programs?

We take you through a process to:

  • Stop being tentative and become more focused and directed.
  • Develop control over your thoughts and emotions like never before.
  • Become a master of the masculine and feminine dance required for a more passionate connection in your romantic relationships.
  • Build and sustain your personal masculine confidence so that you don't get "triggered" or feel disrespected and can respond with strength and confidence to any situation.
  • Become more connected, aware and present with everyone (this is a critical step in your ability to build attraction and desire as well as have people trust you and respect you more).
  • Stop the destructive emotions of anger and resentment which keep you going around in frustrating cycles and start from moving forward with purpose.
  • Stop being anxious, needy and overly reliant upon other people's opinions and approval of you and start feeling more peace, happiness and a deep sense of being a man who is confident in himself again.
  • You will become a confident man who knows his values, what he wants and where he’s going in his life.
  • You will learn how to think, speak and act according to your values without worrying about reactions from others.
  • You become clear and confident in your ability to create intimacy whenever you want.
  • Your confidence will be something that you start to rely on and trust in every part of your life.

How does the Men's Roundtable work?

Our Men's Roundtable membership gives you access to 3 live group coaching calls per month hosted by Steve and Dan as well as access to over 5 years of previously recorded group coaching calls, an invitation to our private facebook group, and ongoing assignments and resources to help you grow and develop as a confident masculine man. It's like having a personal coach in your pocket, ready to help whenever you need it.

What's the difference between the 1-to-1 coaching and group coaching?

Firstly, anyone who is in our 1-to-1 coaching program automatically receives access to the Men's Roundtable membership and group coaching for free for life. The difference between 1-to-1 and group coaching is down to the speed of change that you want to happen. With more personal time and attention from your coach, the 1-to-1 program is adapted to your specific circumstances and will provide the practical advice you need to know what to think, say and do to create what you want your future to be.

What kind of man is right for your coaching?

We work with men who are willing to take the lead in creating the changes they want in their life and relationships. We only work with men who want to understand their fears, insecurities and shame triggers. We teach you practical ways to deal with the mental and emotional challenges life throws at you and help you reach an unshakeable confidence in yourself (often for the first time in your life).

  • You won’t find negative, hateful language.
  • You won’t find a gender war – we don’t bash women.
  • You won’t find bitching, whining, complaining, and blaming.
  • You won’t find a group of men acting like victims.
  • You won’t find judgment or criticism from others.

We don't waste our time with all those things because we want to take the most efficient and effective path to creating the future you want. So we focus only on the things that are within your control: your thoughts, your words and your actions.

How do I know if I need coaching?

If you are feeling unhappy a lot of the time, if you're lonely, drained, lost, stuck or trapped, then our coaching will help. If you're not sure where your life is headed, if you're not confident in yourself, if you're not sure what you really want in life anymore...our coaching will help.

Whether it’s your job, your intimate relationship, or just wanting to feel more happy and with more purpose, then our coaching will help.

If you are tired of settling for a mediocre life or relationship, tolerating criticism and a lack of fun and intimacy and you're done with placating and playing it safe, then our coaching will help.

We will help you have clarity about what you're REALLY passionate about. We'll get you clear about where you want to be in six months and in six years. We help you figure out what you really want to create vs what other people think you should do.

We help you take action, get unstuck, start moving forward. We help you find what matters instead of just "being busy" in the daily grind. We help you figure out how you're going to get from where you are now to where you want to be.

For many of the guys we work with, they find a peace and a sense of emotional freedom that has them shaking their heads and smiling at how they used to approach life. They feel passionate about life again. They build stronger relationships with the people that matter most to them. They feel satisfied and fulfilled that they have finally found the “right path” forward and life starts to feel fun and inspiring again.

So now you've read that...what do you think? Would YOU like to try some of our coaching for free?

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

This is the secret your dad never told you about – You have more power than you know.

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