By: Steve Horsmon
Starting tomorrow, let’s all take the pledge to see this conversation coming and promise to kill it on sight.
This conversation is called, “Let’s talk about why I am right and why you’re wrong.”
This is the most aggravating, angering, unattractive, non-sexy, belittling, and judgmental conversation you can have with your romantic partner.
It suffocates ANY preexisting feelings of intimacy, attraction, trust, or respect.
Do it too much and you progress to the next phase of a declining relationship called the:
“I resent you and your self-righteous ass so much I can’t imagine being alone with you let alone letting you touch me”, stage.
We’ve all done it from time to time. Once in a while it is forgivable. But if it becomes a pattern, you’re doomed.
Does this apply to both men and women?
By romance I’m talking about that safe, comfortable, trusting, cozy, mushy-mushy feeling of being accepted, approved, desired, and even CELEBRATED by your partner.
It’s based in the simple chemistry of mutual attraction, trust, respect, and adoration.
Getting to that point is so easy early in our relationships, isn’t it? Why?
Because we haven’t had time to screw it up yet.
How do we screw it up?
By doing anything perceived by your partner to be unattractive, distrustful, disrespectful, and unadoring. It never matters what we meant or what we intended. When our lovers perceive our thoughts, words, and actions as destructive or unhealthy, it’s time to stop and take a look at what we’re doing.
It’s called, “self-awareness”. It’s about caring about your energy and how you impact the feelings of others.
And it’s enormously important when it comes to knowing when to change gears. Change the tone. Change the energy.
How the Bad Energy Appears to Others
- Bad energy feels like you want to be right more than you want to be happy.
- Bad energy feels annoying and critical.
- Bad energy feels intolerant, incapable, and unwilling to see another view.
- Bad energy feels like one person is smart and the other must be stupid.
- Bad energy feels ugly and emotionally unsafe.
- Bad energy looks insecure, whiny, needy, and lacking in confidence.
- Bad energy feels like a total lack of acceptance.
- Bad energy feels like an intentional attack on your well-being.
How the Good Energy Feels to Others
Exactly opposite of everything above.
Then add an underlying spritz of masculine or feminine love and approval.
Then top it off with a dash of unconditional acceptance and adoration.
Imagine one of the BEST days you’ve ever spent with your lover.
Yeah, it feels like that.
Can’t We Ever Argue or Disagree?
Of course. Absolutely. You will. You must.
But be aware of the choices you make in HOW you argue and disagree.
You can choose a tone, words, and actions that result in 100% romance sabotage.
Or you can choose those that actually result in good energy.
When done well and done correctly, your arguments and disagreements can actually INCREASE mutual attraction, trust, respect, and adoration.
Why Would you Choose Otherwise?
Let’s talk about that. The answers to that question are at the very ROOT of your next breakthrough. Once you get those answers and start your transformation, you will be amazed at why you didn’t do this years ago.
This is the tip of the iceberg for you. Let’s get to work on your very unique set of problems and solutions. The HOW TO part of our program will blow your doors off.
Schedule your discovery call today to find out if you’re a fit to join me in creating a new level of good energy in your relationship.
Set aside some time and be ready to commit as much heart and soul to the conversation as I am.
This is what happens if you do:
I feel like I am becoming the man I want to be and my relationship is improving because of it. My only regret is that I lost some good years with my wife. The Masculinity Tune-up has helped me realize that the future will not be lost and I am looking forward to many fantastic years ahead with my wife. I not only appreciate Steve as a life coach but he has now become my friend.
Steve – Wyoming
I was not sure a “man’s coach” could help me overcome some long-standing fear and personal blocks. After talking with Steve initially, it seemed worth a try. Over three intense sessions of understanding my problem (me), Steve provided resources and role-plays on how to get out of my own way. He gave tools to understand my gifts in a relationship, as well as confidence in making commitments and embracing a loving relationship.
Deanna – Fort Collins
To Better Life and Love,