Wife Said She’s Done What Should You Do?

If you’re scrambling, desperately looking for advice because your wife said she’s done with your marriage, I know how much pain, panic and fear is currently coursing through your body and mind.

I read this amusing (and tear jerking) comment from our secret Facebook group the other day.  I was amused because I hear it a lot. I was emotional because I know exactly how he feels.

It was posted by a guy who has been in our How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb course for a year. It’s been a rough road but, apparently, his investment of time, energy and self-care is paying some dividends. This amazing man successfully saved his marriage! Read the whole thing. It’s the most counter-intuitive way to regain confidence, regain respect and recreate attraction!

“This is hard work, but the hurt, pain and emptiness that I was living in early this year was absolutely NECESSARY to get my stubborn, arrogant ass turned around. I truly didn’t know how respecting myself and learning what it means to live as an authentic man would change everything about my life and how it would bring me JOY.

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My wife describes my old self as the color “black”, and now she says I give off a “blue” aura. She tells me she feels safe, relaxed and is experiencing the relationship with me that she has been craving for most of her life. I created a new me…and she got invited to come along and see what a new her could look like. She’s doing lots of self-care/growth as well…which I never EVER thought would happen (in fact, I had dropped the rope and stopped hoping it would).

If your are hurting, fearful and unsure of your future….I would encourage you to stop worrying about her and your marriage and pick up the tools and begin working on yourself. You may just be amazed at the results”

This Is A Man Who Was Convinced His Marriage Was Done And His Happiness Had Been Permanently Crushed.

We never guarantee a “saved marriage”. But we know for certain that THIS is the only road to getting there.

One of the most important quotes I’ve read (I love me a good quote) is this:

Only two things will bring about change in your life. Something new comes into it…or something new comes out of you. ~ Brendon Burchard

It’s the difference between waiting for someone to divorce us and becoming the kind of man a woman would be crazy to divorce.

BAM! It hit me right between the eyes. Everything I wanted to change in my life ALWAYS starts with brand new stuff coming from me. I felt empowered…even liberated from anger, resentment and frustration.

(this realization later became a venture called Goodguys2Greatmen)

This Is A Man Who Successfully Saved His Marriage By Living Authentically

Our online course How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb starts exactly there.

My coaching partner, Tim Wade, and I want you in there with us!

It’s where men go to figure out what NEW NEEDS TO COME OUT OF THEM.

And the No B.S. Refund Policy still applies.

Of course, not one of the last forty guys have asked for one.

So click HERE to check out the course and watch some sneak peak videos.

The post I shared is from a man who realized if he wanted something new it needed to come from himself first.  He would’ve been happy whether he saved his marriage not because he found joy in being authentic. This is KEY. He learned to drop the rope of trying to control outcomes. He found strength and encouragement to face his fears by being in a community of men also doing the work. This can be your story too.

P.S. Seriously, you’re still reading? Well then you may have a few questions. Just for you I included the FAQ section from the course info page below. Do you have any of these questions in mind right now?

What is your “success rate” for this course, I mean, how many guys actually save their marriage using your advice?

Answer: We get this question a lot. First of all, there are many factors that determine whether or not a couple can find their way back to a healthy, mutual, loving, respectful and intimate relationship. Nobody can promise you any certain success rate in creating the loving, healthy relationship you want. Nobody. And don’t believe anyone who tries.
Secondly, this is the wrong question. Why? Because we know for a fact you aren’t here to “save” the current version of your marriage. You want to stay married AND have more confidence, connection, intimacy and passion than you have in the last few years. As men’s coaches focused strictly on helping men become stronger, more confident husbands and leaders we can promise you something else.

There is NO POSSIBLE WAY your marriage will survive and thrive unless you become a SECURE, CALM, CONFIDENT and CLEAR HEADED MAN who knows who he is, what he really wants and where he wants to take his life. It’s the relentless and desperate focus on “saving a relationship” that ruins most relationships! (To dive deeper you can get Steve’s book “Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband”)
We can promise you this course is your best option in the world to achieve this because we have a solid 8 year track record in coaching men exactly like you. Our process and our philosophy are unmatched in this field.

What are the chances of you becoming a wildly happy, confident, secure, outcome independent and self-reliant man who loves himself and his life?

About 95%.

How can I know if it’s already too late for me and buying this course would just be a waste of time?

Good question. Defusing your particular divorce bomb may not be possible. It’s could be that your wife is so emotionally and mentally unhealthy that she’s entirely unwilling and incapable of being the partner you want in your life. It’s also possible she is so totally done and checked out that she has a brand new life planned that doesn’t include you.
And it’s possible that YOU may become so clear and confident in what you expect of yourself and for yourself that you’re the one who decides to let the bomb go off.

The bigger point is this. If your instincts tell you there is something still worth working for then you must do this work. And guess what? We know that even if your chances of saving this version of your marriage are low…you must do this work! Every single man we coach who has done this work and wound up divorced discovers something amazing. He doesn’t die! Not only that…he thrives like he never imagined.

Should I let my wife know I’m doing this course and share parts of it with her?

In most cases we will say, “No, not yet.” Unless you’re in a very healthy place with a wife who is secure, empathetic and willing to do her own work, it’s not beneficial to tell her all about this course and what you’re learning.

Wives at this point know talk is very cheap. Consistent actions and conscious behavioral changes on your part are the only things she’ll believe and trust.

If you must tell her something or if she demands to know what you’re doing, simply say, “Babe, I’ve decided the only thing I can do to help our relationship is to become a better version of me. For the first time in my life, I’m focusing on what I bring to the party instead of complaining about everyone else.”

Talking too much and having long, deep, heavy conversations are actually counter-productive. We explain why in the course.

How can an online course have any effect on my marriage when it takes TWO to fix a marriage?

We believe there is no possibility for a marriage to be healthy, mutual, loving, respectful and intimate without a strong, healthy, secure, confident and clear-headed man at the helm. Our driving philosophy is that simple because the truth is always simple.

You have to WANT to become a man who is secure and confident in his own skin before you can lead her in any direction. You have to WANT to feel grounded, calm and clear in your masculine frame before any relationship you have with a woman can thrive the way you imagine it should.

Our combination of high quality content, a community of men in the Secret Facebook group and the live Q&A calls will have a powerful and immediate effect on how YOU are showing up. This is second only to a long term, exclusive one-on-one coaching intensive with one of us.

Will you really just give me my money back for any reason if I don’t like this course?

Yes. You had to ask?

author avatar
Steve Horsmon Certified Professional Men’s Coach
Steve Horsmon is a Certified Professional Life Coach and owner of Goodguys2Greatmen Relationship Coaching in Livermore, Colorado. He has appeared on many television, radio, youtube, and podcast channels discussing the coaching and psychology factors relating to maintaining healthy relationships. Steve provides personal, practical, action oriented coaching services for men through 1-on-1 coaching, private retreats, group coaching and workshops designed to give men new knowledge, skills and the right mindset to achieve their relationship goals. He is a committed, lifelong mentor for men who teaches his clients how to discover their masculine strength so they can confidently take the actions required to create the life and relationships that they really want. With over 10 years experience he has created thousands of videos and articles for well known relationship websites such as The Good Men Project, Medium and the Gottman Institute.
The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

This is the secret your dad never told you about – You have more power than you know.

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