What Your Withdrawn Wife Needs From You But Can’t Ask For
Does your wife or girlfriend sometimes act like she would rather be anywhere on this planet but with you?
Does this get under your skin and make you boiling mad?
Do you feel hurt, unappreciated and ignored?
Let’s talk about how men, women (and horses, of course) feel the PRESSURE to get away.
Let’s talk about how we can reduce the pressure and create an environment where softness, relaxation and closer INTIMACY is possible.
Watch or listen to this video to find out WHAT we do to cause this and what it looks and sounds like.
Then below I’ll talk about WHY we do this and how change things up.
In the video I talked about the kinds of things women can do to make YOU want to run for the hills.
It’s that constant aggressive, loud, nagging, disappointed, disapproving, urgent pressure to do something you’re not doing or to be someone you’re not being. They are “just trying to help” or “just trying to see if you care”.
It feels awful and there’s just no amount of “communication” that’s going to fix it in the moment. All you can do is try to ESCAPE it.
Yeah, that.
That’s exactly how some women feel when we are “just being the way we are”.
Why do some guys apply a similar kind of pressure to women?
Why do we sometimes express a constant nagging energy of impatience, urgency, neediness, anger, criticism, poutiness, disapproval and/or disappointment?
Sometimes it’s just being loud, aggressive or dominant. Sometimes it just in the way we close the front door!
I can’t speak for you, but I can speak for me.
It ALWAYS came from an underlying, insidious insecurity.
Insecurity feels like a nervous inner vibration of self-doubt, inadequacy and fear of the unknown.
The “cure” to my insecurity – and probably yours – is to directly face those hidden childhood shadows of feeling weak, abandoned, unloved and dependent on external validation.
I’m talking about intentionally exposing them, talking about them, sharing them, laughing about them and acknowledging the guilt of hurting others.
Sounds like fun, right? It actually IS when you’re doing it with other men just like you.
It’s positively liberating to detach from the grip of unresolved, boyhood crap and starting living in the skin of a cool, calm, confident and self-reliant MAN.
This is where you find out you’ve being TRYING TOO HARD to get your needs met.
You’ve been trying to engineer outcomes through your expectations instead of simply creating connection by sharing your secure, healthy masculine value.
When you release your insecure expectations of how others should treat you, you finally RELAX into the security of knowing who you are…and liking that. A lot.
We love teaching men these tools – how to be better, how to know who you are, what you stand for, what you want and how to CREATE it in your life. We’re here to guide you on this mission.
If you want to become a man who knows and trusts himself to create the life and love he wants we have options for you…
Free: If you’re serious about building your masculine mojo then apply for a coaching call with us we will help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you feeling confident again.
What do I mean by “SERIOUS”?
- We take YOU and your struggles seriously…because we’ve been there
- We know living in a sexless marriage is serious…and so is showing your kids what a healthy affectionate relationship looks like
- A lack of intimacy of all kinds is serious now and for the long term health of your marriage
- We believe your personal emotional strength and well-being is serious
- We seriously show up 110% to our conversations with you and expect you to be as serious as we are about changing your life
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As Teddy Roosevelt said:
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”
Q: Why does my wife or girlfriend seem like she doesn’t want to be around me anymore?
A: Because she’s feeling emotional pressure — that subtle vibe of neediness, disappointment, or urgency. When a woman feels your insecurity more than your calm, she instinctively wants space. Real connection grows when she can relax around your grounded, pressure-free energy.
Q: How do I stop being needy or impatient in my relationship?
A: Drop your expectations of how she should act. Neediness is just unspoken fear wearing a nice shirt. When you stop trying to engineer her responses and start living from your own secure masculine value, you become magnetic again — relaxed, confident, and free.
Q: Why does my frustration push her further away instead of bringing her closer?
A: Because frustration feels like control. Every sigh, criticism, or emotional withdrawal tells her you’re not safe to be around. The cure isn’t to “fix” her—it’s to steady yourself. When you lead with emotional composure, closeness starts to return naturally.
Q: What causes me to pressure my partner without realizing it?
A: Hidden insecurity. Deep down, you’re afraid of rejection, failure, or not being enough. That fear leaks out as urgency and intensity. Facing those inner shadows—especially alongside other men—is how you shift from anxious control to relaxed masculine confidence.
Q: How can I make my relationship feel safe and intimate again?
A: Create emotional space, not pressure. Safety for her begins with stability in you. Speak calmly, slow your reactions, and let go of needing her approval. The more relaxed and self-assured you become, the more she’ll want to be near you.
Q: What’s the first step to ending insecurity in my relationship?
A: Get honest about what you’re really afraid of—then face it head-on. Join conversations with grounded men who’ve walked this path. When you expose and release those buried fears, you stop chasing love and start creating it through calm, confident leadership.
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Have questions about your relationship?
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