Why Is My Wife Not Interested In Me Sexually?

Anxious husbands have a burning question. “Why is my wife not interested in me sexually? Here’s a secret: your wife’s sex drive didn’t vanish. I’m going to show you ONE attitude that’s a guaranteed turn-off for her.

The real problem in my marriage was a pandemic of pissyness that plagues many marriages.

Men (and their wives) can get WAY too familiar with each other. This is typically a bad sign as it really jacks with their chemistry.

Any sense of romantic or sexual polarity you USED TO have is dead.

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You’re farting in front of each other constantly and allowing that whiny, pissy side to enter conversations about what’s for dinner.

The cure?

You HAVE TO GET A LIFE!

No matter what, you must find a new energy of enthusiasm, connection and passion for something OTHER than plodding through another day of TV news, Zoom school and (ummm….) bags of Cheetos.

The truth about us guys is that we can get TOO comfortable with routine. TOO familiar.

Even BEFORE sheltering at home came in fashion, we can take the easy route. We meander in mediocrity quietly dreaming that SOMETHING exciting might come into our marriage, our bedroom and our life.

If You’re Asking, “Why Is My Wife Not Interested In Me Sexually”? It’s Time To Ask, “Has Anything New Been Coming Out Of Me?

The truth is that nothing new is coming into your life. Something new must come out of you.

Hell, I had to start building my he shed-she shed to get out of the house. That project alone has got my mojo amped up enough to shoot another video for you from the new deck of my 120 square foot “hotel paradise”. Maybe you’ll get to sleep here once my retreats start up again!

Here I talk in more detail about creating something new.

YouTube video

How to Cure Your Pandemic Pissyness (and improve your marriage at the same time!)

Leadership Starts With Leading Yourself

Many men we work with complain they can’t lead because nobody will follow.

They point out their attempts to engage with their wife or kids only to feel dismissed or rejected. They are missing a key point.

You can’t lead from the rear…you must lead from the front.

This means if you want to FEEL excitement, engagement, enthusiasm, connection, respect, affection and/or appreciation…you must FIRST GET GOOD AT BEING THOSE THINGS FOR YOURSELF!

I know! It’s like “Backwardsville”! How can being so self-centered possibly be construed as leadership?

It’s because talk is cheap. Nobody wants to follow someone who talks about what they want. They will always follow someone who is unapologetically and enthusiastically BEING what they want.

Some guys are jumping out of planes this week because they are afraid of heights. Other guys are disappearing in the middle of the day to fly kites with the kids. A few guys are finally buying that damn motorcycle they have been afraid to buy for fear of being criticized.

And one guy decided to grab his blow torch and roast marshmallows in his living room “campsite” with the kids. (you know who you are)

Now is the time for you to lead from the front. Demonstrate what excitement, enthusiasm and engaged LOOKS like. Allow everyone else to get caught up in your draft.

They will follow as long as you don’t look back.

This is the key to leadership. Go in the direction you passionately want to go and invite others to come along.

My community of men are ALL pushing each other to become this kind of man. And the daily stories of triumph are what made me write this post.

I’m so inspired by the energy building. It’s like the community was at one time a “small tropical depression” but has now gained hurricane strength.

The source of that strength is with other men who want what YOU want.

And I want that excitement, enthusiasm and engagement to get you whipped up into a category 3 storm.

Will you at least think about joining us? We need more fuel. And you’re just what we need to keep the fire burning!

Having my wife not interested in me sexually is long past now. Playful, sexy husbands have non-pissy attitudes! Your new attitude is key to creating a passionate-filled life. A Life that turns you both on.

Join Dan Dore and I in the Men’s Live Coaching Roundtable group for amazing conversation, coaching and insights. This is stuff your dad never told you.

And if you’re on the edge of divorce with threats of leaving or requests for “space” then the How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb online course would be perfect. This course taught by coach Tim Wade and I also has a large, active group of powerful men who support each other on a daily basis. It’s possible that the group interaction is more valuable than the 9 hours of video coaching in the course!

Click those links to get more information, videos and FAQ’s.

You’re in the right place.

author avatar
Steve Horsmon Certified Professional Men’s Coach
Steve Horsmon is a Certified Professional Life Coach and owner of Goodguys2Greatmen Relationship Coaching in Livermore, Colorado. He has appeared on well known coachign and psychology television, radio, youtube, and podcast channels related to maintaining healthy relationships. Steve provides intensely personal, action oriented coaching services for men through 1-on-1 coaching, private retreats and workshops designed to give men new knowledge, skills and mindset to achieve their relationship goals. He is a committed, lifelong mentor who teaches his clients to discover their masculine power, take bold action and create the life they want. He has written articles and guest blogs for numerous relationship and expert websites.

Frequently Asked Questions


Is our coaching right for you?

Our coaching process was created for men who want to feel happier and more fulfilled in their life and relationships. We teach you how to have more confidence and clarity about what you want in your life and create an action plan to start making it happen.

Do you only work with men in marriage?

While our coaching teaches you how to create a more connected, more fun and passionate marriage, we also work with you to have more clarity, enthusiasm and fulfillment in all areas of your life. We help you understand what you really want your future to look like and we also teach you how to be in control of your emotions so that you can be confident and assertive no matter how difficult your circumstances are right now .

What happens in the free 90-minute coaching call?

In our free initial coaching calls, we listen a lot, we ask you questions to understand what life is really like for you at the moment, we help you identify what you want to be different and what's holding you back from creating those changes now. Then we help you create a practical plan of action to start moving forward straight away.

What will I learn in your coaching programs?

We take you through a process to:

  • Stop being tentative and become more focused and directed.
  • Develop control over your thoughts and emotions like never before.
  • Become a master of the masculine and feminine dance required for a more passionate connection in your romantic relationships.
  • Build and sustain your personal masculine confidence so that you don't get "triggered" or feel disrespected and can respond with strength and confidence to any situation.
  • Become more connected, aware and present with everyone (this is a critical step in your ability to build attraction and desire as well as have people trust you and respect you more).
  • Stop the destructive emotions of anger and resentment which keep you going around in frustrating cycles and start from moving forward with purpose.
  • Stop being anxious, needy and overly reliant upon other people's opinions and approval of you and start feeling more peace, happiness and a deep sense of being a man who is confident in himself again.
  • You will become a confident man who knows his values, what he wants and where he’s going in his life.
  • You will learn how to think, speak and act according to your values without worrying about reactions from others.
  • You become clear and confident in your ability to create intimacy whenever you want.
  • Your confidence will be something that you start to rely on and trust in every part of your life.

How does the Men's Roundtable work?

Our Men's Roundtable membership gives you access to 3 live group coaching calls per month hosted by Steve and Dan as well as access to over 5 years of previously recorded group coaching calls, an invitation to our private facebook group, and ongoing assignments and resources to help you grow and develop as a confident masculine man. It's like having a personal coach in your pocket, ready to help whenever you need it.

What's the difference between the 1-to-1 coaching and group coaching?

Firstly, anyone who is in our 1-to-1 coaching program automatically receives access to the Men's Roundtable membership and group coaching for free for life. The difference between 1-to-1 and group coaching is down to the speed of change that you want to happen. With more personal time and attention from your coach, the 1-to-1 program is adapted to your specific circumstances and will provide the practical advice you need to know what to think, say and do to create what you want your future to be.

What kind of man is right for your coaching?

We work with men who are willing to take the lead in creating the changes they want in their life and relationships. We only work with men who want to understand their fears, insecurities and shame triggers. We teach you practical ways to deal with the mental and emotional challenges life throws at you and help you reach an unshakeable confidence in yourself (often for the first time in your life).

  • You won’t find negative, hateful language.
  • You won’t find a gender war – we don’t bash women.
  • You won’t find bitching, whining, complaining, and blaming.
  • You won’t find a group of men acting like victims.
  • You won’t find judgment or criticism from others.

We don't waste our time with all those things because we want to take the most efficient and effective path to creating the future you want. So we focus only on the things that are within your control: your thoughts, your words and your actions.

How do I know if I need coaching?

If you are feeling unhappy a lot of the time, if you're lonely, drained, lost, stuck or trapped, then our coaching will help. If you're not sure where your life is headed, if you're not confident in yourself, if you're not sure what you really want in life anymore...our coaching will help.

Whether it’s your job, your intimate relationship, or just wanting to feel more happy and with more purpose, then our coaching will help.

If you are tired of settling for a mediocre life or relationship, tolerating criticism and a lack of fun and intimacy and you're done with placating and playing it safe, then our coaching will help.

We will help you have clarity about what you're REALLY passionate about. We'll get you clear about where you want to be in six months and in six years. We help you figure out what you really want to create vs what other people think you should do.

We help you take action, get unstuck, start moving forward. We help you find what matters instead of just "being busy" in the daily grind. We help you figure out how you're going to get from where you are now to where you want to be.

For many of the guys we work with, they find a peace and a sense of emotional freedom that has them shaking their heads and smiling at how they used to approach life. They feel passionate about life again. They build stronger relationships with the people that matter most to them. They feel satisfied and fulfilled that they have finally found the “right path” forward and life starts to feel fun and inspiring again.

So now you've read that...what do you think? Would YOU like to try some of our coaching for free?

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

This is the secret your dad never told you about – You have more power than you know.

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