Has Your Wife Said You’re Always Defensive?
I used to think there was nothing scarier or more unpleasant than an angry woman.
I grew up with the belief that “If Momma Ain’t Happy, then Nobody Will be Happy”.
Later in life that turned into a belief in the “Happy Wife, Happy Life” load of B.S.
I’m smarter now. The school of hard knocks was a bitch, but a necessary phase of my growth.
Here’s what I want you to know about angry women.
It’s perfectly acceptable for them to be moody, crabby, crampy, pouty, pissy and angry without you making it all about you.
What do I mean by that?
I mean that if you grew up like I did you will try to immediately address, confront and FIX an unhappy woman just because YOU are uncomfortable with her unhappiness.
This is the big stupid mistake we make.
There is a better way to handle it that ends with better feelings, more respect and more attraction.
And I will guarantee you that her anger will subside much more quickly.
There’s a caveat to this, of course. That’s when her anger is rightfully directed at you for a valid reason.
I explain things in more detail in this video.
The secret to handling her anger is to stand strong, unrattled, present, available and curious.
As I explained in the video, if you know you screwed up then OWN IT immediately. No excuses. No silly defense.
When she can experience you handling her anger with calm, unrattled presence she can trust that you won’t overreact or get defensive.
When you are confident in yourself and don’t try to fix her anger to make YOU feel better you will instantly become more attractive.
That’s important to you…no?
What’s even better than being attractive to her is the feeling of confidence and approval within yourself.
How do you do this?
You learn this with the support of other great men who are on the same path as you.
These are men who want more confidence, self-respect and a mojo level that is throbbing with optimism and courage. Yeah…I said throbbing.
Next Steps? Make it about you and learn how to handle anger and any other conflict with confidence and leadership.
Give yourself the gift of feeling calm and clear about your future, knowing you will handle any situation just the way you need to:
Free: If you’re serious about building your masculine mojo then apply for a coaching call with us we will help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you feeling confident again.
What do I mean by “SERIOUS”?
- We take YOU and your struggles seriously…because we’ve been there
- We know living in a sexless marriage is serious…and so is showing your kids what a healthy affectionate relationship looks like
- A lack of intimacy of all kinds is serious now and for the long term health of your marriage
- We believe your personal emotional strength and well-being is serious
- We seriously show up 110% to our conversations with you and expect you to be as serious as we are about changing your life
Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity
$69 Monthly Subscription: Join Dan and I in our Men’s Roundtable Group Coaching membership. We meet three times per month for live group coaching and we support you in a powerful group of men facing the same issues you are. Get instant access to 5 years of recorded sessions. Try it for one month. What have you got to lose?
$397 One-Time Payment: How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a self-paced course with me, Tim Wade, and a community of men learning how to lead when you’ve just heard, “I love you but I’m not in love with you” or “I want to separate or divorce.”
As Teddy Roosevelt said:
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”
Q: Why do I feel so uncomfortable when my wife is angry?
A: Because you were trained to believe her happiness equals your peace. Most men rush to fix an angry woman just to calm themselves. But when you learn to stay grounded and calm, her storm passes faster—and she starts respecting your emotional strength instead of testing it.
Q: How should I respond when my wife is angry or upset?
A: Stay present. Don’t argue, defend, or try to fix it. Just stand strong, curious, and open. If you’ve done something wrong—own it, no excuses. But if she’s just venting, let her feel what she feels without making it about you. That calm presence builds trust and attraction.
Q: What if her anger is directed at me for something I actually did wrong?
A: Then the mature, confident move is to own it fully. Say, “You’re right, I dropped the ball.” No justifications, no explaining. When you handle her anger without defensiveness, she experiences you as safe, grounded, and trustworthy again—that’s when healing starts.
Q: Why does trying to fix her anger usually make things worse?
A: Because it sends the message that her emotions are a problem to solve instead of an experience to be witnessed. You’re not supposed to fix her—you’re supposed to feel solid enough to handle her emotions. That’s what makes her feel safe and connected again.
Q: How can I build the confidence to stay calm when she’s angry?
A: You practice it—with other men who’ve done the work. Confidence doesn’t come from theory; it comes from experience. That’s why we coach men to stop reacting and start leading with strength. When you learn to handle tension calmly, you become both peaceful and powerfully attractive.
Q: What’s the first step to stop fearing her anger and start leading through it?
A: Make it about you. Get serious about developing your masculine mojo—your calm, confident center. Apply for a coaching call or join our men’s group. Once you master your emotional presence, no mood, conflict, or storm can throw you off balance again.
Author 
Have questions about your relationship?
Apply for a free, no strings, 90 minute deep dive personalized coaching session to help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you moving toward the future you want. We offer a unique form of Men’s Coaching and we attract smart guys who see through surface level hype and bravado. We hide nothing and hold nothing back. We know that everything you want is behind your fear and skepticism…just like it was for us.
More related articles for you:
Why Looking For The Magic Recipe To Fix Your Marriage Always FailsSexless Marriage How to Attract Your Wife Again
The Ultimate Power Tool To Fix Your Marriage
The Simple Truth To More Sex In Your Marriage
How To Make Marriage Counselling Effective (& Avoid Making Things Worse)
