How Masculine Confidence Can Save Your Marriage

Have you ever reached a point in your life where you feel like a never ending shit storm has taken control of you and your sense of peace and well-being?

That was my morning yesterday. I woke up to this.

snow storm

I must admit something to you. I don’t handle this as well as I’d like to.

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With all my advice about “changing your perspective” and “being an unrattled mountain lion”… sometimes this crap gets the best of me.

I got stuck in my plow truck. Couldn’t start the heavy machinery. Horse water froze. Girlfriend needed to get out to pick up a dog for pet sitting.

And…and… (sniff) the 60 mph wind bitch-slapped me hard in the face and drove cold, wet snow deep into my all-weather, super duper L.L. Bean snow boots.


I can’t wait for our next retreat in Mexico!

“No storm can last forever. It will never rain 365 days consecutively. Keep in mind that trouble comes to pass, not to stay. Don’t worry! No storm, not even the one in your life, can last forever.”~ Iyanla Vanzant

In the heat (or cold) of a storm, it can feel impossible to take a big, deep breath, slow down, look at the horizon and realize that everything is going to be okay.

It’s hard to see what’s on the other side of this pain. The overwhelming power of your emotions…the relentless barrage of negative thoughts…and the fear of uncertainty work together to paralyze you and piss you off at the same time.

Then something cool happens.

snow calm and beautiful

Same snow only hours later. A new perspective. More serene. More beautiful.


It just happened. And it always does…if you let it.

I explain more about the power of doing nothing in this video.

YouTube video

Today has been a long day of plowing snow and tramping through drifts, trying to break up horse water and get in and out of vehicles without busting my head open!

Now I’m bushed.

But I just want to talk to you about this subject…“when storms hit your life” – like today has kicked my butt.

We all know these storms have an ending. This storm is going to end, the wind will end (I hope sometime soon).

I’ve lived up here for 25 years and I know that with every blowing, drifting, nasty, cold storm that we get here in Colorado, there is an end to it and the sun comes out, the snow menlts, the grass grows, the birds sing and everything is going to be fine.

But in the heat of the moment, when you’re bumping your head and falling down in the snow and tripping over dogs who won’t leave you alone. You can all of a sudden lose it. You can lose perspective and lose that truth “that you’re going to be okay”, “that everything’s going to be fine.”

I’m going to take about three or four ibuprofen, I’m going to sleep and tomorrow is another day.

No matter what your storm is…emotional storm, relationship storm, financial storm, parenting storm, whatever that storm is, just stop and breathe, get a cup of coffee, look out the window and realize that this storm like all the other ones will pass.

And if you stop long enough to observe, and to think and to learn a few things along the way, you’re going to be even better when the storm is over.

Which makes it so much better.

What’s My Point?

Look, brother, I know why you’re here. We’re ALL here for the same reason.

We’re in search of more confidence – more clarity – more emotional peace and strong personal sense of well-being.

And 99.9% of us came here through the door of relationship pain and uncertainty.

MY POINT is that this “storm” in your life is going to end. And you’re going to be just fine.

And just like a snowstorm, you can’t control the temperature, wind speed or snow fall.

Don’t let your masculine need to FIX something make you crazy.

You can’t FIX the storm. The storm isn’t your fault.

And by SLOWING DOWN now you can recapture that powerful, manly calmness you once had.

Slowing down allows you to be a better OBSERVER and a better LEARNER and a better MAN who measures his responses with clear thinking and inspired action.

Yeah. That’s you.

How do you become that man?

How do you change decades of over-reacting and over-controlling?

Here are two very powerful ways to do it FAST.

The Men’s Live Coaching Roundtable is a powerful collection of men from around the world working together to transform themselves and their relationships. Dan Dore and I lead this secret Facebook community with 4 other professional coaches. We have live coaching video calls twice per month. The camaraderie in this group is something missing from the lives of too many men in the world. ($69/month)

This is what men say who join these groups:

“This last year has not turned out to be shit. In fact, far from it. It has been a year of enlightenment, learning, growth, connection, fun and friendships; it has been full of surprise, frustration, success and failure, progress and regress, reading, listening, sharing and laughing. The pivotal lesson for me has been in taking ownership, recognising that the only person who you have to live with for the rest of your life is yourself, and if you don’t love yourself then you cannot expect others to love you. There is no knowing where life and this road will lead you, but there is one constant: we each own it. I am blessed to have met you and some of the great men, and I am blessed to have shared this epic part of my journey with all of them.” Sean D. – UK

The online course How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a deep and intense dive into handling yourself when you hear, “I love you but I’m not in love with you anymore.” This brand new course has quickly built a strong community of men who meet in their own secret Facebook group to support each other. Tim Wade and I host monthly live Q&A calls with all the students in this course which includes many other bonuses as well. ($500 with no BS money-back guarantee)

And if you think one-on-one coaching (the fastest way to learn) is up your alley, contact us for a powerful one-hour consultation session.

These consultations are actually mini-coaching sessions and you will hang up feeling like “what the hell just happened?”…in a really good way.

author avatar
Steve Horsmon Certified Professional Men’s Coach
Steve Horsmon is a Certified Professional Life Coach and owner of Goodguys2Greatmen Relationship Coaching in Livermore, Colorado. He has appeared on many television, radio, youtube, and podcast channels discussing the coaching and psychology factors relating to maintaining healthy relationships. Steve provides personal, practical, action oriented coaching services for men through 1-on-1 coaching, private retreats, group coaching and workshops designed to give men new knowledge, skills and the right mindset to achieve their relationship goals. He is a committed, lifelong mentor for men who teaches his clients how to discover their masculine strength so they can confidently take the actions required to create the life and relationships that they really want. With over 10 years experience he has created thousands of videos and articles for well known relationship websites such as The Good Men Project, Medium and the Gottman Institute.
The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

This is the secret your dad never told you about – You have more power than you know.

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