How Masculine Confidence Can Save Your Marriage

Have you ever reached a point in your life where you feel like a never ending shit storm has taken control of you and your sense of peace and well-being?

That was my morning yesterday. I woke up to this.

snow storm

I must admit something to you. I don’t handle this as well as I’d like to.

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With all my advice about “changing your perspective” and “being an unrattled mountain lion”… sometimes this crap gets the best of me.

I got stuck in my plow truck. Couldn’t start the heavy machinery. Horse water froze. Girlfriend needed to get out to pick up a dog for pet sitting.

And…and… (sniff) the 60 mph wind bitch-slapped me hard in the face and drove cold, wet snow deep into my all-weather, super duper L.L. Bean snow boots.

Sniff.

I can’t wait for our next retreat in Mexico!

“No storm can last forever. It will never rain 365 days consecutively. Keep in mind that trouble comes to pass, not to stay. Don’t worry! No storm, not even the one in your life, can last forever.”~ Iyanla Vanzant

In the heat (or cold) of a storm, it can feel impossible to take a big, deep breath, slow down, look at the horizon and realize that everything is going to be okay.

It’s hard to see what’s on the other side of this pain. The overwhelming power of your emotions…the relentless barrage of negative thoughts…and the fear of uncertainty work together to paralyze you and piss you off at the same time.

Then something cool happens.

snow calm and beautiful

Same snow only hours later. A new perspective. More serene. More beautiful.

AND I DIDN’T NEED TO DO ANYTHING TO CAUSE IT.

It just happened. And it always does…if you let it.

I explain more about the power of doing nothing in this video.

YouTube video

Today has been a long day of plowing snow and tramping through drifts, trying to break up horse water and get in and out of vehicles without busting my head open!

Now I’m bushed.

But I just want to talk to you about this subject…“when storms hit your life” – like today has kicked my butt.

We all know these storms have an ending. This storm is going to end, the wind will end (I hope sometime soon).

I’ve lived up here for 25 years and I know that with every blowing, drifting, nasty, cold storm that we get here in Colorado, there is an end to it and the sun comes out, the snow menlts, the grass grows, the birds sing and everything is going to be fine.

But in the heat of the moment, when you’re bumping your head and falling down in the snow and tripping over dogs who won’t leave you alone. You can all of a sudden lose it. You can lose perspective and lose that truth “that you’re going to be okay”, “that everything’s going to be fine.”

I’m going to take about three or four ibuprofen, I’m going to sleep and tomorrow is another day.

No matter what your storm is…emotional storm, relationship storm, financial storm, parenting storm, whatever that storm is, just stop and breathe, get a cup of coffee, look out the window and realize that this storm like all the other ones will pass.

And if you stop long enough to observe, and to think and to learn a few things along the way, you’re going to be even better when the storm is over.

Which makes it so much better.

What’s My Point?

Look, brother, I know why you’re here. We’re ALL here for the same reason.

We’re in search of more confidence – more clarity – more emotional peace and strong personal sense of well-being.

And 99.9% of us came here through the door of relationship pain and uncertainty.

MY POINT is that this “storm” in your life is going to end. And you’re going to be just fine.

And just like a snowstorm, you can’t control the temperature, wind speed or snow fall.

Don’t let your masculine need to FIX something make you crazy.

You can’t FIX the storm. The storm isn’t your fault.

And by SLOWING DOWN now you can recapture that powerful, manly calmness you once had.

Slowing down allows you to be a better OBSERVER and a better LEARNER and a better MAN who measures his responses with clear thinking and inspired action.

Yeah. That’s you.

How do you become that man?

How do you change decades of over-reacting and over-controlling?

Here are two very powerful ways to do it FAST.

The Men’s Live Coaching Roundtable is a powerful collection of men from around the world working together to transform themselves and their relationships. Dan Dore and I lead this secret Facebook community with 4 other professional coaches. We have live coaching video calls twice per month. The camaraderie in this group is something missing from the lives of too many men in the world. ($69/month)

This is what men say who join these groups:

“This last year has not turned out to be shit. In fact, far from it. It has been a year of enlightenment, learning, growth, connection, fun and friendships; it has been full of surprise, frustration, success and failure, progress and regress, reading, listening, sharing and laughing. The pivotal lesson for me has been in taking ownership, recognising that the only person who you have to live with for the rest of your life is yourself, and if you don’t love yourself then you cannot expect others to love you. There is no knowing where life and this road will lead you, but there is one constant: we each own it. I am blessed to have met you and some of the great men, and I am blessed to have shared this epic part of my journey with all of them.” Sean D. – UK

The online course How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a deep and intense dive into handling yourself when you hear, “I love you but I’m not in love with you anymore.” This brand new course has quickly built a strong community of men who meet in their own secret Facebook group to support each other. Tim Wade and I host monthly live Q&A calls with all the students in this course which includes many other bonuses as well. ($500 with no BS money-back guarantee)

And if you think one-on-one coaching (the fastest way to learn) is up your alley, contact us for a powerful one-hour consultation session.

These consultations are actually mini-coaching sessions and you will hang up feeling like “what the hell just happened?”…in a really good way.

Frequently Asked Questions


Is our coaching right for you?

Our coaching process was created for men who want to feel happier and more fulfilled in their life and relationships. We teach you how to have more confidence and clarity about what you want in your life and create an action plan to start making it happen.

Do you only work with men in marriage?

While our coaching teaches you how to create a more connected, more fun and passionate marriage, we also work with you to have more clarity, enthusiasm and fulfillment in all areas of your life. We help you understand what you really want your future to look like and we also teach you how to be in control of your emotions so that you can be confident and assertive no matter how difficult your circumstances are right now .

What happens in the free 90-minute coaching call?

In our free initial coaching calls, we listen a lot, we ask you questions to understand what life is really like for you at the moment, we help you identify what you want to be different and what's holding you back from creating those changes now. Then we help you create a practical plan of action to start moving forward straight away.

What will I learn in your coaching programs?

We take you through a process to:

  • Stop being tentative and become more focused and directed.
  • Develop control over your thoughts and emotions like never before.
  • Become a master of the masculine and feminine dance required for a more passionate connection in your romantic relationships.
  • Build and sustain your personal masculine confidence so that you don't get "triggered" or feel disrespected and can respond with strength and confidence to any situation.
  • Become more connected, aware and present with everyone (this is a critical step in your ability to build attraction and desire as well as have people trust you and respect you more).
  • Stop the destructive emotions of anger and resentment which keep you going around in frustrating cycles and start from moving forward with purpose.
  • Stop being anxious, needy and overly reliant upon other people's opinions and approval of you and start feeling more peace, happiness and a deep sense of being a man who is confident in himself again.
  • You will become a confident man who knows his values, what he wants and where he’s going in his life.
  • You will learn how to think, speak and act according to your values without worrying about reactions from others.
  • You become clear and confident in your ability to create intimacy whenever you want.
  • Your confidence will be something that you start to rely on and trust in every part of your life.

How does the Men's Roundtable work?

Our Men's Roundtable membership gives you access to 3 live group coaching calls per month hosted by Steve and Dan as well as access to over 5 years of previously recorded group coaching calls, an invitation to our private facebook group, and ongoing assignments and resources to help you grow and develop as a confident masculine man. It's like having a personal coach in your pocket, ready to help whenever you need it.

What's the difference between the 1-to-1 coaching and group coaching?

Firstly, anyone who is in our 1-to-1 coaching program automatically receives access to the Men's Roundtable membership and group coaching for free for life. The difference between 1-to-1 and group coaching is down to the speed of change that you want to happen. With more personal time and attention from your coach, the 1-to-1 program is adapted to your specific circumstances and will provide the practical advice you need to know what to think, say and do to create what you want your future to be.

What kind of man is right for your coaching?

We work with men who are willing to take the lead in creating the changes they want in their life and relationships. We only work with men who want to understand their fears, insecurities and shame triggers. We teach you practical ways to deal with the mental and emotional challenges life throws at you and help you reach an unshakeable confidence in yourself (often for the first time in your life).

  • You won’t find negative, hateful language.
  • You won’t find a gender war – we don’t bash women.
  • You won’t find bitching, whining, complaining, and blaming.
  • You won’t find a group of men acting like victims.
  • You won’t find judgment or criticism from others.

We don't waste our time with all those things because we want to take the most efficient and effective path to creating the future you want. So we focus only on the things that are within your control: your thoughts, your words and your actions.

How do I know if I need coaching?

If you are feeling unhappy a lot of the time, if you're lonely, drained, lost, stuck or trapped, then our coaching will help. If you're not sure where your life is headed, if you're not confident in yourself, if you're not sure what you really want in life anymore...our coaching will help.

Whether it’s your job, your intimate relationship, or just wanting to feel more happy and with more purpose, then our coaching will help.

If you are tired of settling for a mediocre life or relationship, tolerating criticism and a lack of fun and intimacy and you're done with placating and playing it safe, then our coaching will help.

We will help you have clarity about what you're REALLY passionate about. We'll get you clear about where you want to be in six months and in six years. We help you figure out what you really want to create vs what other people think you should do.

We help you take action, get unstuck, start moving forward. We help you find what matters instead of just "being busy" in the daily grind. We help you figure out how you're going to get from where you are now to where you want to be.

For many of the guys we work with, they find a peace and a sense of emotional freedom that has them shaking their heads and smiling at how they used to approach life. They feel passionate about life again. They build stronger relationships with the people that matter most to them. They feel satisfied and fulfilled that they have finally found the “right path” forward and life starts to feel fun and inspiring again.

So now you've read that...what do you think? Would YOU like to try some of our coaching for free?

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

This is the secret your dad never told you about – You have more power than you know.

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