Are you dealing with a marriage that is lacking affection? Are you constantly worried and have a knot in your gut because you’re scared and trying to avoid divorce?
Two years ago I spent an intense hour talking with a frantic guy who was facing divorce. I never heard from him again…until this week.
His email was fairly short and to the point.
“I talked to you probably 2 years ago. Didn’t move forward with any counseling. Ended up with a divorce. In the divorce I gave her everything. Then there was a house fire where I moved and I lost the little I had rebuilt. Then a car crash totaled my car . Guess what? I didn’t die. It sucked. But i didn’t die.”
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I love the simplicity of this realization. He didn’t die. Yep, it sucked. But he lived to see another day. And with that simple fact he seems to have adopted a new mindset. He was free to create new chapters he never even considered before. Get this.
“Me now? I have a new home, new car, and an amazing girl. But more importantly I have a deeper confidence in myself and I control my destiny and happiness. It lives inside me. Not outside of me. I’ve stopped getting shook every time a woman has an emotional response to something. I’m solid. And this is a whole new way of experiencing life. I stopped letting what’s outside of me determine my happiness.”
At this point in his email I start smiling. Through the absolute “suckiest” time in his life he’s had the most important insight of his life.
As long as you don’t die you can still create a whole new experience of life.
What the secret key?
It’s the powerful and stark realization that your self-worth, happiness and well-being is not defined by what’s happening OUTSIDE OF YOU.
On the road to self-reliance there is a switch in a man’s brain that flips with an almost audible CLICK!
It happened for me, it happened for him and it can happen for you.
Immediately after the switch flips you realize that you’re okay at this very moment. Even better, you know you will be okay in the future.
You see yourself as the WRITER of the next chapters. You become the CREATOR of your own new circumstances.
You realize that “hoping for happiness” is no where as effective as owning your happiness.
In this interview with Alison Donaghey, I talk a lot more about this switch in a man’s life.
“There is a time in every man’s education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide; that he must take himself for better, for worse, as his portion; that though the wide universe is full of good, no kernel of nourishing corn can come to him but through his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is given to him to till. The power which resides in him is new in nature, and none but he knows what that is which he can do, nor does he know until he has tried.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Mr. Emerson is more flowery than I am. I like to translate for my simple mind.
You get to declare who you are. You must create the life you want. And the key to realizing your own power to do so is hidden behind the fear keeping you from making the effort.
If you’re ready to take the next, best logical step in your journey, we want you in our community. There are a few hundred brothers who want to meet you. Here are some options for you.
How can you have rock solid confidence and self-respect to be able to choose happiness even when you’re in the middle of a disagreement?
That’s where we help men get to here at Goodguys2Greatmen. That’s our passion.
We want to help you rediscover the peace and calmness of knowing exactly how you want to respond to situations.
We want you to know that the frustration that you may feel too often right now doesn’t define you. It doesn’t define who you are or your future. You have more control than you think.
We’d love to have a conversation with you about this.
When we have a conversation, they can go 60 or 90 minutes and we cover everything that’s going on in your life. Everything she’s said, everything you’re feeling…
And what we want you to do, is walk away from this phone call, feeling like you have a glimmer of hope, that maybe the way you were thinking before the call was driving you into a pit of despair and we want to pull you out of that, at least for a day.
How do you learn how to be calm, confident and argument proof?
It’s done with the help of other men who have traveled your path. You must surround yourself with men who can help you change your mindset, your perspective and, ultimately, how you FEEL ABOUT YOU.
The problem most of us have is that we have no men in our lives to talk to about this who get it, have been through it and come out the other side. We’ve got nobody we can trust to give us clear feedback and positive support and guidance.
So what’s next?
I’ve created a powerfully EFFECTIVE experience and for you that promises to give you the calm, confident, peaceful mojo you want.
The very FASTEST way to change the way you’re thinking and find your confidence again is to join other men doing the same thing.
Here are some options for you to join us and start creating a whole new reality for yourself:
The Men’s Live Coaching Roundtable is a powerful collection of men from around the world working together to transform themselves and their relationships. Dan Dore and I lead this community with 5 other professional coaches. We have live coaching video calls twice per month. The camaraderie in this group is something missing from the lives of too many men in the world.
Our online course How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a deep and intense dive into handling yourself when you hear, “I love you but I’m not in love with you anymore.” Tim Wade and I host monthly live Q&A calls with all the students in this course which includes many other bonuses as well. Find out more here.
We love teaching men these tools – how to be better, how to know who you are, what you stand for, what you want and how to CREATE it in your life through our Masculine Confidence coaching programs.