My hope for this message is to challenge and empower you to think differently about feeling offended, insulted, manipulated, controlled or abused.
The internet abounds with countless experts trying to help people know when they are being abused and how to escape their evil perpetrators. These experts arm them with tips, tools and vocabulary to identify their manipulative, controlling, domineering and narcissistic abusers.
“Abuse” is the new relationship battle cry and public enemy #1.
It’s creating armies of otherwise healthy men and women who spend a LOT of time and energy indicting their persecutors. Then they spend MORE time and energy complaining about it and trying to get others to sympathize with them.
The 3-Step Emergency Triage for You AND Your Marriage >>
It becomes a full time job for these default victims.
They are not aware of any other course of thinking or action that can create a different result. Therefore, they spend no time thinking or doing anything that can be more empowering and effective.
The ultimate problem is this way of living has no end.
Even if they finish the work of exposing all their persecutors…they’re still a victim. It’s like finally winning the rat race and still winding up a rat.
Brother, I want more for you. You’re not a rat. And you’re not a victim.
There is a more effective way to THINK about all this and a more productive way to RESPOND.
Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity >>
I explain more in this video.
“In every moment you have the CHOICE to be a victim or a creator.” ~ Deepak Chopra
Let me be clear.
I am speaking directly to healthy adult men who want to become more emotionally confident, mature and effective in their life by changing how they think and respond to their circumstances. These men have a clear choice to create new circumstances for themselves.
I fully realize there are many innocent victims of circumstances and abuse who have no such option and we must support and defend them.
What’s really happening when someone treats you badly?
This is what happens when a man finally becomes clear, confident and secure enough to see the truth about “abuse”.
Instead of seeing criticism and cutting comments as abuse…he sees them as insecure bids for connection.
Instead of experiencing her cold silence as emotional abandonment…he experiences empathy for her internal turmoil.
Instead of feeling threats of divorce as vicious emotional abuse…he sees right through her fearful need to take control.
This is what happens when a man finally becomes clear, confident and secure enough to see himself as a creator of his own circumstances.
Instead of launching boyish counter-attacks, he consistently demonstrates calm, confident and mature responses.
Instead of pursuing and pressuring her for approval and validation, he confidently gives her space while happily engaging with others.
Instead of accepting poisonous attacks or destructive behavior, he firmly and confidently states his expectations and invokes consequences without fear of the outcome.
How does he achieve this Zen-like state of masculine maturity?
He stops trying to change others and puts laser focus on changing himself. This is all the control he has and all the control he needs.
You have a few options on where to put your focus.
Free: If you’re serious about building your masculine mojo then apply for a coaching call with us we will help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you feeling confident again.
What do I mean by “SERIOUS”?
- We take YOU and your struggles seriously…because we’ve been there
- We know living in a sexless marriage is serious…and so is showing your kids what a healthy affectionate relationship looks like
- A lack of intimacy of all kinds is serious now and for the long term health of your marriage
- We believe your personal emotional strength and well-being is serious
- We seriously show up 110% to our conversations with you and expect you to be as serious as we are about changing your life
Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity
$69 Monthly Subscription: Join Dan and I in our Men’s Roundtable Group Coaching membership. We meet three times per month for live group coaching and we support you in a powerful group of men facing the same issues you are. Get instant access to 5 years of recorded sessions. Try it for one month. What have you got to lose?
$397 One-Time Payment: How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a self-paced course with me, Tim Wade, and a community of men learning how to lead when you’ve just heard, “I love you but I’m not in love with you” or “I want to separate or divorce.”
As Teddy Roosevelt said:
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”
