My Wife Loves The Dog More Than Me – Why?

Does your wife love the dog more than you? Does it drive you crazy? In this article we discuss why she does that, why it pisses you off and what to do about it…

Have you ever uttered these words under your breath?

“Look at her just kissing, rubbing and loving on that dog. He’s getting more of her happy, affectionate attention than I’ve gotten in two months. “

Maybe not those exact words, but I think you know what I’m talking about.

Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity >>

If you’ve ever been in that cold, dark, barren “friend zone” with your wife you know what I mean.

It’s that constant feeling of rejection and emptiness…just hoping for one little show of attention or affection. And when you see her happily give it to anyone or anything but you the downward spiral of anger and resentment starts.

Damn dog. What’s he have that you don’t have?

Brace yourself. This hurt me too when I realized it.

That damn dog had more of a life than I did.

Does your dog have a more interesting and satisfying life than you?

If so, that’s why it’s so easy for her to give him all the affection she wants. He’s already good. He loves the attention, but it’s not the only thing on his mind for the day. There’s zero risk that he’s going to demand more from her.

Watch this quick video to find out what I’m talking about.

YouTube video

Have you ever seen a woman get all baby-talky and googoo eyed and gooshy mooshy with a dog, rub it’s belly, kiss all over it and just love it to death?

And have you ever been in a mood where you said to yourself “This is bullshit. This dog is getting more attention than I do.”

How can she be so happy, so loose and so relaxed with the dog and yet I don’t get any of that?

Have you ever thought that before?

If you’re feeling starved for affection, attention or any type of appreciation, closeness or intimacy with your romantic partner and you see her giving it to everybody but you, you ask yourself why.

Usually this is because she is giving her attention to places and things and people that are safer than you are.

What I mean by safer is that she can pet the dog, rub the dog and love the dog because she knows that the dog has a life. Then the dog will get up and walk away, lick it’s balls, run around, find a bone, chew something, roll on it’s back, sleep or whatever – the dog has a lot of things to do besides getting loved on by her.

BUT, when we’re in that position of feeling empty and we need touch, we want attention, affection, appreciation or intimacy, what happens is that the ONLY energy we give off is one of neediness.

I need you to touch me.

I need you to love me.

I need you to kiss me.

If you do that then I’ll relax.

And then I’ll get even CLOSER.

Which highlights the fear that a lot of women have. That if they show us any appreciation when we’re in that needy mode, we’re just going to hold on tighter and expect more and more and more.

It’s like a cup with a hole in it. When you start filling it, it just keeps draining out and you can never top it off.

If a woman feels that there’s no amount of attention, affection or intimacy that she can give you that’s going to fill you up…she won’t even start.

She’ll certainly find other places to give it.

Like the dog.

“You’ll never be more approachable and attractive as when you appear to others as loving your own life.” ~ Me

This is true at work. It’s true when making friends. It’s true when building a business.

And it’s true in your committed relationship.

However, many of us begin to use our committed relationship and partner as our safe house for whining, complaining and begging for attention. It’s a place where we play smaller and it begins to be the only “life” we can imagine.

No wonder so many of us men become unhappy, clingy, needy shells of the man we used to be. And no wonder we can end up resenting the damn dog for having more game than we do!

What’s the answer to getting a life BIGGER than your dog?

Make a decision to take care of yourself.

Most men don’t even know what that means. They don’t prioritize their health, their desires, their passions or their dreams.

Most men are too busy operating to someone else’s agenda for what it means to be a “good guy” and are getting exhausted trying to please everyone but themselves.

What would you do with your life if you knew you couldn’t fail? What interest and passion have you put on the back burner? What new skill or adventure have you talked yourself out of every year for the last ten years?

The very FASTEST way to change the way you’re thinking and find your confidence again is to join other men doing the same thing.

Here are some options for you to join us and start creating a whole new reality for yourself:

The Men’s Live Coaching Roundtable is a powerful collection of men from around the world working together to transform themselves and their relationships. Dan Dore and I lead this community with 5 other professional coaches. We have live coaching video calls twice per month. The camaraderie in this group is something missing from the lives of too many men in the world.

Our online course How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a deep and intense dive into handling yourself when you hear, “I love you but I’m not in love with you anymore.” Tim Wade and I host monthly live Q&A calls with all the students in this course which includes many other bonuses as well. Find out more here.

We love teaching men these tools – how to be better, how to know who you are, what you stand for, what you want and how to CREATE it in your life through our Masculine Confidence coaching programs.

If you want to become a man who knows and trusts himself to create the life and love he wants, apply for a free 90 minute consultation call I guarantee you’ll feel a whole lot better by the end of our talk.

author avatar
Dan Dore Certified Professional Men’s Coach
Dan Dore is a certified professional Men’s Coach specialising in helping men who are struggling and feeling unhappy and unfulfilled i their life and relationships. With over 20,000 hours experience coaching men to completely resolve their self-esteem and confidence issues and improve their ability to create emotional connection, build trust, earn respect, and lead the sexual intimacy and affection in their relationship whenever they want. No more fearing rejection or other people’s opinion of you - I want to help you finally be happy in yourself and trust your ability to create anything you want in your future.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is our coaching right for you?

Our coaching process was created for men who want to feel happier and more fulfilled in their life and relationships. We teach you how to have more confidence and clarity about what you want in your life and create an action plan to start making it happen.

Do you only work with men in marriage?

While our coaching teaches you how to create a more connected, more fun and passionate marriage, we also work with you to have more clarity, enthusiasm and fulfillment in all areas of your life. We help you understand what you really want your future to look like and we also teach you how to be in control of your emotions so that you can be confident and assertive no matter how difficult your circumstances are right now .

What happens in the free 90-minute coaching call?

In our free initial coaching calls, we listen a lot, we ask you questions to understand what life is really like for you at the moment, we help you identify what you want to be different and what's holding you back from creating those changes now. Then we help you create a practical plan of action to start moving forward straight away.

What will I learn in your coaching programs?

We take you through a process to:

  • Stop being tentative and become more focused and directed.
  • Develop control over your thoughts and emotions like never before.
  • Become a master of the masculine and feminine dance required for a more passionate connection in your romantic relationships.
  • Build and sustain your personal masculine confidence so that you don't get "triggered" or feel disrespected and can respond with strength and confidence to any situation.
  • Become more connected, aware and present with everyone (this is a critical step in your ability to build attraction and desire as well as have people trust you and respect you more).
  • Stop the destructive emotions of anger and resentment which keep you going around in frustrating cycles and start from moving forward with purpose.
  • Stop being anxious, needy and overly reliant upon other people's opinions and approval of you and start feeling more peace, happiness and a deep sense of being a man who is confident in himself again.
  • You will become a confident man who knows his values, what he wants and where he’s going in his life.
  • You will learn how to think, speak and act according to your values without worrying about reactions from others.
  • You become clear and confident in your ability to create intimacy whenever you want.
  • Your confidence will be something that you start to rely on and trust in every part of your life.

How does the Men's Roundtable work?

Our Men's Roundtable membership gives you access to 3 live group coaching calls per month hosted by Steve and Dan as well as access to over 5 years of previously recorded group coaching calls, an invitation to our private facebook group, and ongoing assignments and resources to help you grow and develop as a confident masculine man. It's like having a personal coach in your pocket, ready to help whenever you need it.

What's the difference between the 1-to-1 coaching and group coaching?

Firstly, anyone who is in our 1-to-1 coaching program automatically receives access to the Men's Roundtable membership and group coaching for free for life. The difference between 1-to-1 and group coaching is down to the speed of change that you want to happen. With more personal time and attention from your coach, the 1-to-1 program is adapted to your specific circumstances and will provide the practical advice you need to know what to think, say and do to create what you want your future to be.

What kind of man is right for your coaching?

We work with men who are willing to take the lead in creating the changes they want in their life and relationships. We only work with men who want to understand their fears, insecurities and shame triggers. We teach you practical ways to deal with the mental and emotional challenges life throws at you and help you reach an unshakeable confidence in yourself (often for the first time in your life).

  • You won’t find negative, hateful language.
  • You won’t find a gender war – we don’t bash women.
  • You won’t find bitching, whining, complaining, and blaming.
  • You won’t find a group of men acting like victims.
  • You won’t find judgment or criticism from others.

We don't waste our time with all those things because we want to take the most efficient and effective path to creating the future you want. So we focus only on the things that are within your control: your thoughts, your words and your actions.

How do I know if I need coaching?

If you are feeling unhappy a lot of the time, if you're lonely, drained, lost, stuck or trapped, then our coaching will help. If you're not sure where your life is headed, if you're not confident in yourself, if you're not sure what you really want in life anymore...our coaching will help.

Whether it’s your job, your intimate relationship, or just wanting to feel more happy and with more purpose, then our coaching will help.

If you are tired of settling for a mediocre life or relationship, tolerating criticism and a lack of fun and intimacy and you're done with placating and playing it safe, then our coaching will help.

We will help you have clarity about what you're REALLY passionate about. We'll get you clear about where you want to be in six months and in six years. We help you figure out what you really want to create vs what other people think you should do.

We help you take action, get unstuck, start moving forward. We help you find what matters instead of just "being busy" in the daily grind. We help you figure out how you're going to get from where you are now to where you want to be.

For many of the guys we work with, they find a peace and a sense of emotional freedom that has them shaking their heads and smiling at how they used to approach life. They feel passionate about life again. They build stronger relationships with the people that matter most to them. They feel satisfied and fulfilled that they have finally found the “right path” forward and life starts to feel fun and inspiring again.

So now you've read that...what do you think? Would YOU like to try some of our coaching for free?

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

This is the secret your dad never told you about – You have more power than you know.

We respect your privacy, read our privacy policy here