How To Immediately Feel More Confident
There’s this thing I do every now and then that sucks the wind out of my sails quicker than…(insert your own metaphor here).
I have a feeling you might do this sometimes too.
It’s a crippling habit that fills a man with doubt, uncertainty and indecision. It creates a general mindset of inadequacy and sometimes even ENVY.
What’s the habit?
COMPARING YOURSELF AND YOUR SITUATION TO OTHER PEOPLE!
Sometimes I compare my business to my friends’ and colleagues’ businesses to see where I stand.
Sometimes I compare my lifestyle and where I live to people who seem to be happier…and warmer!
Sometimes I compare my level of productivity to other men who seem to totally have their sh*t together and get TONS more done in a week than I do.
And sometimes I compare my looks, physique and sex life to those of other men who seem to be way ahead of me in those departments.
Have you ever done that? If not…hit delete and go to your next email now.
If yes, then watch this short video to find out why we do this and what to do instead.
Why do we compare??
We compare ourselves to others because we don’t have or are not yet confident enough in our OWN INTERNAL GAUGE.
You must develop your own unique measure of success and happiness because other people’s measures are all wrong for you.
We can’t look outside of ourselves for reassurance that we’re on the right path. We must define the path that’s right for us and assess our own progress.
But most of us still look outside ourselves.
We look to women to affirm our value.
We watch TV, movies and porn and get a twisted version of manhood.
We envy the jobs, money, women and sex lives of other men.
Why?
Because we don’t yet have a clear answer for some critical questions.
Who am I? What do I stand for?
Where am I going? What do I expect of myself when nobody is watching?
What do I expect FOR myself that I’m willing to create for myself?
My coach asks me all the time…”Do you have a vision of your future so powerful it makes you want to cry when you think about it?” (I always grit my teeth when I’m asked that.)
What to do Instead?
I’ll number these for you so you won’t forget.
1. Stop comparing yourself to others. (yes, you can)
2. Start calibrating your OWN gauge of happiness and success. (more below on this)
3. Stop second guessing your own power and brilliance. (yes, I know you do that)
4. Start hanging around BETTER PEOPLE as soon as possible. (you’re the average of the 5 people you hang around most…be careful)
Then lather, rinse and repeat.
I go through these 4 steps over and over again. It’s a process. It’s a mindset.
It’s a lifestyle. You get to choose to live it your way.
This is exactly why I’m committed to helping other men. I do it for ME first – then you.
Our coaching is THE BEST WAY to immediately up your game and check off numbers 1-4 above.
Come and meet amazing, smart, compassionate men who will inspire you with their dreams, their courage and their tenacity.
They are here and willing to GIVE support to you, to other men as well as RECEIVE encouragement from others.
And they are some of the best people I’ve ever met. Honest. Driven. Sincere. Open hearted.
The men who join our community and coaching programs are master electricians, business owners, doctors, over the road truckers, Air Force generals, lawyers, teachers, retired pastors, engineers (the choo-choo kind too!)…you name it.
Most importantly they are good men. And so are you.
If you want to up your game quickly, here are some ways to get started today…
Free: If you’re serious about building your masculine mojo then apply for a coaching call with us we will help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you feeling confident again.
What do I mean by “SERIOUS”?
- We take YOU and your struggles seriously…because we’ve been there
- We know living in a sexless marriage is serious…and so is showing your kids what a healthy affectionate relationship looks like
- A lack of intimacy of all kinds is serious now and for the long term health of your marriage
- We believe your personal emotional strength and well-being is serious
- We seriously show up 110% to our conversations with you and expect you to be as serious as we are about changing your life
Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity
$69 Monthly Subscription: Join Dan and I in our Men’s Roundtable Group Coaching membership. We meet three times per month for live group coaching and we support you in a powerful group of men facing the same issues you are. Get instant access to 5 years of recorded sessions. Try it for one month. What have you got to lose?
$397 One-Time Payment: How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a self-paced course with me, Tim Wade, and a community of men learning how to lead when you’ve just heard, “I love you but I’m not in love with you” or “I want to separate or divorce.”
As Teddy Roosevelt said:
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”
Q: Why do I constantly compare myself to other men and feel like I’m falling behind?
A: Because you haven’t built your own internal gauge yet. When you don’t clearly know who you are, what you stand for, or where you’re going, you measure your worth using other people’s yardsticks. True confidence comes from defining your own metrics for success and happiness.
Q: How can I stop comparing myself to others and feeling inadequate?
A: Catch the comparison when it starts. Remind yourself: Their life isn’t my benchmark. Then refocus on your own progress—your values, your goals, your standards. The fastest way to stop comparing is to surround yourself with better men who challenge and support your growth, not your ego.
Q: Why does comparing myself make me feel jealous or unmotivated instead of inspired?
A: Because envy is the shadow of self-doubt. When you believe someone else’s life means you’re “less,” you disconnect from your own power. Use that energy differently—turn comparison into calibration. Ask, “What does his success show me about what I truly want to create for myself?”
Q: How do I build my own internal measure of success?
A: Start by asking the hard questions: Who am I? What do I value? What am I creating? What am I proud of when no one’s watching? When your answers become clear, you stop chasing validation. You become a man guided by vision, not comparison—and that’s magnetic power.
Q: Why does hanging around the right men matter so much?
A: Because you become like the men you spend the most time with. If they complain, compare, or coast—you will too. But if they lead, grow, and hold themselves to a higher standard, you’ll naturally rise. The men in our Roundtable are proof: better company builds better character.
Q: What’s the first step to breaking free from comparison and living on my own terms?
A: Take action. Don’t just read about it—join a circle of men doing the work. Apply for a coaching call or join our Roundtable. When you calibrate your own path with purpose and masculine clarity, envy disappears—and peace, confidence, and direction take its place.
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