Why Chasing Sex ALWAYS Gets Less Sex

Why a woman cannot respect a man who proves that he cannot respect himself.

Here’s a story that might be a little uncomfortable to read.

It’s about a guy I met 4 years ago who was banging his head against the wall in his marriage. His wife had totally pulled away from him and his sex life was non-existent. More and more frequently she was being dismissive and disrespectful toward him.

He was furious.

And he was hyper-focused on one thing.

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The sex.

He was determined to fix this problem no matter what.

Most of us can remember times when we jumped through hoops like crazy trying to please a woman just so she’ll LIKE us.

It’s like trying to solve a Rubik’s Cube puzzle. We keep trying new things to crack the code of getting her attention, approval and affection.

In this video, I explain the KEY REASON why nice guys get no loving and why doing LESS instead of MORE is so important.

YouTube video

Trying to Get Your Wife to Like You

He’s a successful guy…tall, dark and handsome. He makes a lot of money. He owns his own company. At the neighborhood barbeque, all the local ladies watch him flipping burgers and playing with the kids and they all hit on him.

He’s really a great guy…outside of his own home. He feels confident.

But when he gets back inside his own home, he turns into a pile of mush.

He thinks he deserves sex, but his wife isn’t giving him sex. She’s being disrespectful, she’s being snarky, she’s being dismissive and she also isn’t pulling her weight.

So I asked him “What’s going on? What’s your plan to turn things around?

He said “I got a plan. But let me explain a little what’s been going on.

“I work seventy hour weeks and make sure that she has all the money she needs so she can buy whatever she wants. I never give her a hard time about that. I do all the cooking, all the breakfasts, all the dinners and I pass by the grocery store anyway, so I do all the shopping too.”

“I have higher standards than her for a clean house so I’ve taken on the vacuuming and the laundry now too, but she gets on my case about that too.”

“I’m doing all this stuff but when I want sex, she’s still refusing.”

“So the other day I brought home some flowers. And the day after that I brought home some rose petals and some candles and I even decorated the whole bathtub – we have a big jetted tub and I drew her a hot bath and I took her to the bathroom to show her what I did for her. And she got in the bathtub, and as she sunk down into the hot water, she looked at me and she said – you know, you don’t have to try so hard.”

And he got so pissed off then. He got so angry that he didn’t even know what it meant.

He asked me “How much more do I have to do to get this woman to lighten up with me?

And I said “You need to do much less. Much, much less.

And he asked “Why?

So that’s what this article is about. It’s about men who will do anything, ANYTHING…for attention. Men who’ll do anything for recognition, affection and sex.

Why Doing Less Earns More Respect and Affection

We’re powerful outside of the house. We’re successful business owners and managers – we feel confident and competent in whatever we do for a living and people admire us.

But back home, when were having problems in our relationship or if we’re just dating a woman and we’re hitting a snarky, disrespectful, dismissive attitude – it’s probably because she has an inkling that you don’t respect yourself.

If we jump through hoops and we do everything possible to get a woman to like us, she knows that that is proof that we don’t like ourselves too much.

That’s what I do with men, that’s the program we go through.

We work through how you can take that confidence and competence you have outside your romance department and bring it back into your relationship, where you know you are the prize.

You are a man of value.

You are confident in your own skin and you don’t NEED her to like you.

The men who have the most amazing sex lives, who have the most sexual variety and openness and lightness with women, are the men who don’t give a shit.

They know themselves. They know their value.

In a long term marriage, twenty or thirty years, when a woman smells a sense of self loathing or a sense that you don’t know your own value – so you have to vacuum, do the shopping and laundry and dishes just to get her to like you – all she can see is a man who doesn’t respect himself.

And it’s IMPOSSIBLE for a woman to feel attractive and sexy and desirous of a man who doesn’t respect himself.

This is a table you can turn. This is something you have control over.

But it takes some work to get to the root of why it’s like that with women but it’s not like that at work.

This is a critical point you have to understand.

Why is it like this with your woman at home, but it’s not like this at work?

Once you understand that, you have the keys to the kingdom.

I would love to help you with this. Get in touch with me for a free consultation call to talk about self respect and losing the neediness that we have about us.

Take care brother, talk to you soon.

My new book Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband will help you to lead yourself and your relationship back to good health. Understand why your partner acts the way she does toward you and learn how to lead your life in the direction you want it to go. You CAN have the relationship you want, fulfilling all your desires while maintaining love and respect.

I wrote a free e-book to help men learn how to lose their fear and be more bold in their marriage to create the love and connection they want. Get The Hard to Swallow Truth About Saving Your Marriage HERE

If you want to learn more about how to take a bigger step toward being a clear-headed, confident man of action, then find out more here. I would be thrilled to help you get there – our first discovery call is always free and always gives you a BIG boost of confidence.

You WILL become a clearer, stronger, more confident man only through other men. Your woman cannot take you there – and she doesn’t WANT to…trust me on that.

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Photo: Johnny [Shakedown] / Flickr

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Is our coaching right for you?

Our coaching process was created for men who want to feel happier and more fulfilled in their life and relationships. We teach you how to have more confidence and clarity about what you want in your life and create an action plan to start making it happen.

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While our coaching teaches you how to create a more connected, more fun and passionate marriage, we also work with you to have more clarity, enthusiasm and fulfillment in all areas of your life. We help you understand what you really want your future to look like and we also teach you how to be in control of your emotions so that you can be confident and assertive no matter how difficult your circumstances are right now .

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In our free initial coaching calls, we listen a lot, we ask you questions to understand what life is really like for you at the moment, we help you identify what you want to be different and what's holding you back from creating those changes now. Then we help you create a practical plan of action to start moving forward straight away.

What will I learn in your coaching programs?

We take you through a process to:

  • Stop being tentative and become more focused and directed.
  • Develop control over your thoughts and emotions like never before.
  • Become a master of the masculine and feminine dance required for a more passionate connection in your romantic relationships.
  • Build and sustain your personal masculine confidence so that you don't get "triggered" or feel disrespected and can respond with strength and confidence to any situation.
  • Become more connected, aware and present with everyone (this is a critical step in your ability to build attraction and desire as well as have people trust you and respect you more).
  • Stop the destructive emotions of anger and resentment which keep you going around in frustrating cycles and start from moving forward with purpose.
  • Stop being anxious, needy and overly reliant upon other people's opinions and approval of you and start feeling more peace, happiness and a deep sense of being a man who is confident in himself again.
  • You will become a confident man who knows his values, what he wants and where he’s going in his life.
  • You will learn how to think, speak and act according to your values without worrying about reactions from others.
  • You become clear and confident in your ability to create intimacy whenever you want.
  • Your confidence will be something that you start to rely on and trust in every part of your life.

How does the Men's Roundtable work?

Our Men's Roundtable membership gives you access to 3 live group coaching calls per month hosted by Steve and Dan as well as access to over 5 years of previously recorded group coaching calls, an invitation to our private facebook group, and ongoing assignments and resources to help you grow and develop as a confident masculine man. It's like having a personal coach in your pocket, ready to help whenever you need it.

What's the difference between the 1-to-1 coaching and group coaching?

Firstly, anyone who is in our 1-to-1 coaching program automatically receives access to the Men's Roundtable membership and group coaching for free for life. The difference between 1-to-1 and group coaching is down to the speed of change that you want to happen. With more personal time and attention from your coach, the 1-to-1 program is adapted to your specific circumstances and will provide the practical advice you need to know what to think, say and do to create what you want your future to be.

What kind of man is right for your coaching?

We work with men who are willing to take the lead in creating the changes they want in their life and relationships. We only work with men who want to understand their fears, insecurities and shame triggers. We teach you practical ways to deal with the mental and emotional challenges life throws at you and help you reach an unshakeable confidence in yourself (often for the first time in your life).

  • You won’t find negative, hateful language.
  • You won’t find a gender war – we don’t bash women.
  • You won’t find bitching, whining, complaining, and blaming.
  • You won’t find a group of men acting like victims.
  • You won’t find judgment or criticism from others.

We don't waste our time with all those things because we want to take the most efficient and effective path to creating the future you want. So we focus only on the things that are within your control: your thoughts, your words and your actions.

How do I know if I need coaching?

If you are feeling unhappy a lot of the time, if you're lonely, drained, lost, stuck or trapped, then our coaching will help. If you're not sure where your life is headed, if you're not confident in yourself, if you're not sure what you really want in life anymore...our coaching will help.

Whether it’s your job, your intimate relationship, or just wanting to feel more happy and with more purpose, then our coaching will help.

If you are tired of settling for a mediocre life or relationship, tolerating criticism and a lack of fun and intimacy and you're done with placating and playing it safe, then our coaching will help.

We will help you have clarity about what you're REALLY passionate about. We'll get you clear about where you want to be in six months and in six years. We help you figure out what you really want to create vs what other people think you should do.

We help you take action, get unstuck, start moving forward. We help you find what matters instead of just "being busy" in the daily grind. We help you figure out how you're going to get from where you are now to where you want to be.

For many of the guys we work with, they find a peace and a sense of emotional freedom that has them shaking their heads and smiling at how they used to approach life. They feel passionate about life again. They build stronger relationships with the people that matter most to them. They feel satisfied and fulfilled that they have finally found the “right path” forward and life starts to feel fun and inspiring again.

So now you've read that...what do you think? Would YOU like to try some of our coaching for free?

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