Unhappily married men have one key fear. “I’m scared my wife will divorce me”. They feel a sense of panic and low self-esteem at the very thought. This article will give you SIX ways to THINK about this and relieve your fear.
Before we get to those mindsets, let’s talk about fear.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the most horrible, scary experience you can imagine, what is your current level of FEAR of divorce.
We ask this question during coaching sessions with men who are gripped with a paralysis. They feel stuck in limbo with no certainty about their marriage, their wife’s devotion…or her fidelity.
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It’s this fear that is keeping them from feeling strong, confident and valuable as a man.
It’s this fear that is making them jump through hoop after hoop trying to make her happy and to save his marriage.
But what they learn is this.
Their level of fear is nothing more than a deep-seated story about being a failure and about being all alone. And that story is patently false.
Above all other coaching advice I give a man to reprogram his fearful thoughts and false beliefs I tell him to ask for help from other great men.
There is NO SUBSTITUTE (including your marriage) for the love, trust and unconditional support you can get through male friendships.
Other articles you may find helpful:
How to Increase Your Sex Appeal by Stopping This (and starting this)Stuck In A Miserable Marriage?
In this video we talk a bit about the responsibility for making friendships happen and taking charge of connecting with other men you enjoy and respect. (and I give you a shot at the progress on the She Shed/He Shed)
You’re not a failure…and you’re not alone
It’s important we hear this message from other men. And if you’re not yet in a position to say it to yourself, you must have someone you trust and respect in your life to remind you.
Here is the new program you will be running in your head:
1. I’m not terrified…I just think I am.
2. I’m okay and I’m not going to die.
3. This whole situation is meant to make me stronger and push me to being more courageous.
4. My fearful thinking and behavior is the worst possible place for me to improve myself and my marriage.
5. I need to stop focusing on what I think I need from my wife to feel okay within myself.
6. I am going to start building better friendships with men and that starts with asking for help and being a better friend
7. Read numbers 1-3 again.
Thoughts Like “I’m Scared My Wife Will Divorce Me” Turn Into Self-Respect and Mojo When You Connect With Men Who Have Self-Respect And Mojo
If you’re like most men you’ve had your head down and your nose to the grindstone.
You’ve been laser focused on supporting your family, being a dutiful husband and involved dad.
And this means you haven’t had time to maintain the strong friendships you had years ago.
If it feels like I’m rubbing salt into a wound…good. That’s exactly the feeling that got ME started years ago!
It’s time to take that stinging feeling in your gut and turn it into action. Do something just for you.
Turning “I’m scared my wife will divorce me” into “I KNOW I will be ok no matter what she does” can be your new program. Apply the six mindsets. Get plugged into a quality tribe of men. Living in this new lane shifts your worry into magnetic masculinity!
Join Dan Dore and I in the Men’s Live Coaching Roundtable group for amazing conversation, coaching and insights. This is stuff your dad never told you.
And if you’re on the edge of divorce with threats of leaving or requests for “space” then the How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb online course would be perfect. This course taught by coach Tim Wade and I also has a large, active group of powerful men who support each other on a daily basis. It’s possible that the group interaction is more valuable than the 9 hours of video coaching in the course!
Click those links to get more information, videos and FAQ’s.
You’re in the right place.
