Is Your Wife Withholding Sex From You?

What options do you have in the prison of a sexless marriage?

Have you ever felt like your sex life has been stolen?

Do you believe that women are the gate keepers of your sexuality?

Are you concerned that your masculine sensuality will never be honestly expressed until you get the permission and approval from your partner?

Many men answer “yes” to those questions.

Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity >>

I used to believe the answers were “yes” too.

Now I know differently. And you can too.

The Sexual Prison is in Your Head

Many men feel imprisoned by society, their upbringing or even their marital vows.

Societal programming has brainwashed them into believing their masculine sensual and sexual nature is something they should be ashamed of.

They’ve been raised to be quietly embarrassed about their natural craving for intimate connection, sensual touch and sexual pleasure.

And they feel their marital vows have locked them into an inescapable, monogamous prison where they solemnly wait for the gatekeeper to give them the nod of permission.

But the truth is they are sitting in a cell with an unlocked door and no guard.

They can leave anytime they want…but they don’t.

The fear of walking out the door and simply being who they want to be is paralyzing.

It’s all in their head.

What if You Just Walked Out of the Prison Cell?

I had a client once who was determined to walk out of his unguarded cell of sexual shame.

He didn’t care what it took. He needed to shock himself into owning who he was and what he wanted.

I asked him, “What would be the most grandiose demonstration of your reclaimed freedom?”

He thought for a minute and said, “The most outrageous thing I can think of is if I told my mother that I love to eat p*ssy! That would prove I’m afraid of nothing anymore.”

“Really?” I said. “What’s the worst that could happen if you do that?”

And so it was decided.

He sat down one Saturday morning over coffee with his mom. He could smell bacon sizzling on the stove as he sat nervously at the 36-inch round Formica kitchen table he grew up with.

She said, “How have you been, dear?”

He said, “Great, mom! Hey, I’ve got to get something to get off my chest I’ve been too embarrassed to tell anyone. So I’m telling you.”

“What is it, honey?” she asked.

“Mom. I just love to eat p*ssy.”

Pause.

“That’s nice, dear. Do you want some breakfast?”

Yeah. It was that easy.

And his life started changing from that day on. True story.

What if You Just Lived a Life of Intimacy, Sensuality and Sexuality?

What if living an intimate, sensual and sexual life wasn’t a place to get to?

What if it was a place you must come from?

What if all you had to do every single day was the equivalent of telling your mom you love to eat p*ssy?

Living a life of intimacy, sensuality and sexuality requires you to come from those places. You must embrace the scary edge of what it means to show up in relationships as an intimate man.

You must be unashamed of expressing your sensual thoughts and feelings.

And you must unapologetically invite and initiate sensual play and sexual interactions.

The choice to do otherwise is like sitting in an unguarded, unlocked prison cell.

You can do anything you want and you can BE anyone you like. Nobody has a gun to your head.

Do they?

The Gun to Your Head

I know the feeling.

The fear of speaking our truth can feel like a virtual gun to the head.

We’re afraid of being rejected…again.

Being called a pervert.

Being mocked, scolded or belittled.

Being laughed at.

Being alone.

These fears are what keeps us sitting on the edge of our bunk inside the unguarded, unlocked cell.

We choose to play it safe and do nothing.

Actually, it’s not nothing.

We might whine, complain, argue, beg, debate, blame and negotiate for slivers of what we want.

We give absolute power to someone else to regulate our experience of intimacy, sensuality and sexuality.

And that’s a miserable life.

What Are My Options?

Your options are plenty…if you dare to exercise them.

The world is full of opportunities to play in the realm of intimacy, sensuality and sexuality.

I believe you must learn to play in all those realms with the world – without shame or apology.

You were not meant to place all of your eggs in one basket. It’s impossible for your partner to be the sole source of your intimate experiences.

She never signed up to be your prison guard or the keeper of your happiness and satisfaction.

She doesn’t want you to get those from her. She wants you to come to her with those already inside you.

Instead of pursuing intimate, sensual and sexual experiences you must learn to create them.

This means you must boldly create intimate, emotional and vulnerable conversations. Do this with your friends, your co-workers, your mother and your partner…whenever the mood strikes you. Push that scary edge. Treat intimacy just as you do the air you breathe. It’s not negotiable.

Playfully delve into the world of sensuality. Read, watch, listen and share with others what you’re thinking, what you like and what you desire. Learn to touch, hug, kiss, compliment and love others without fear or expectation. Practice receiving those with a gracious, open heart.

Shamelessly express your sexual nature. It’s normal and natural to be a sexual being. It’s food for your soul. Reset your mindset of scarcity, uncertainty and trepidation. Instead, offer, invite and initiate from a place of self-respect, self-love and outcome independence.

Intimacy, sensuality and sexuality are your gifts to offer the world…they are not a place you need to find or get to.

They are a place you must come from.

And to do that you must walk out of that prison cell under your own power – without asking for permission.

Will This Fix My Sexless Marriage?

Will pushing this scary edge fix your sexless marriage?

I don’t know. Maybe.

One thing I know for sure is that it will make you feel happier and more confident. Those two things should be your priority before trying to fix anything else. Becoming independent of any specific outcome is critical and you can’t do that if you’re not happy or confident.

Another thing I know for sure is doing more of the same won’t fix anything and it will only get worse.

Complaining won’t fix it.

Begging won’t fix it.

And negotiating won’t fix it.

Sometimes a sexless marriage is rejuvenated when you decide to walk out of your unguarded, unlocked prison cell and simply become an intimate, sensual and sexual person and partner.

You take responsibility for living a life of your choosing – taking back your power to experience one of the most amazing parts of being a human being.

You let go of controlling, threatening or manipulating your partner to make you happy. You just invite her to join you in the intimate, sensual and sexual life you are going to live – one way or another. (By the way, if the roles are reversed the same concepts apply)

No rules. No demands. No judgment.

Just a simple invitation.

My new book Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband will help you to lead yourself and your relationship back to good health. Understand why your partner acts the way she does toward you and learn how to lead your life in the direction you want it to go. You CAN have the relationship you want, fulfilling all your desires while maintaining love and respect.

I wrote a free e-book to help men learn how to lose their fear and be more bold in their marriage to create the love and connection they want. Get The Hard to Swallow Truth About Saving Your Marriage HERE

If you want to learn more about how to take a bigger step toward being a clear-headed, confident man of action, then find out more here. I would be thrilled to help you get there – our first discovery call is always free and always gives you a BIG boost of confidence.

You WILL become a clearer, stronger, more confident man only through other men. Your woman cannot take you there – and she doesn’t WANT to…trust me on that.

Sign up to receive my email newsletters here for lots more free tips and advice.

You can watch all my videos here and read my blog articles here.

See what life changing results you’re missing out on here.

Photo: Tina Franklin/Flickr

author avatar
Dan Dore Certified Professional Men’s Coach
Dan Dore is a certified professional Men’s Coach specialising in helping men who are struggling and feeling unhappy and unfulfilled i their life and relationships. With over 20,000 hours experience coaching men to completely resolve their self-esteem and confidence issues and improve their ability to create emotional connection, build trust, earn respect, and lead the sexual intimacy and affection in their relationship whenever they want. No more fearing rejection or other people’s opinion of you - I want to help you finally be happy in yourself and trust your ability to create anything you want in your future.

Frequently Asked Questions


Is our coaching right for you?

Our coaching process was created for men who want to feel happier and more fulfilled in their life and relationships. We teach you how to have more confidence and clarity about what you want in your life and create an action plan to start making it happen.

Do you only work with men in marriage?

While our coaching teaches you how to create a more connected, more fun and passionate marriage, we also work with you to have more clarity, enthusiasm and fulfillment in all areas of your life. We help you understand what you really want your future to look like and we also teach you how to be in control of your emotions so that you can be confident and assertive no matter how difficult your circumstances are right now .

What happens in the free 90-minute coaching call?

In our free initial coaching calls, we listen a lot, we ask you questions to understand what life is really like for you at the moment, we help you identify what you want to be different and what's holding you back from creating those changes now. Then we help you create a practical plan of action to start moving forward straight away.

What will I learn in your coaching programs?

We take you through a process to:

  • Stop being tentative and become more focused and directed.
  • Develop control over your thoughts and emotions like never before.
  • Become a master of the masculine and feminine dance required for a more passionate connection in your romantic relationships.
  • Build and sustain your personal masculine confidence so that you don't get "triggered" or feel disrespected and can respond with strength and confidence to any situation.
  • Become more connected, aware and present with everyone (this is a critical step in your ability to build attraction and desire as well as have people trust you and respect you more).
  • Stop the destructive emotions of anger and resentment which keep you going around in frustrating cycles and start from moving forward with purpose.
  • Stop being anxious, needy and overly reliant upon other people's opinions and approval of you and start feeling more peace, happiness and a deep sense of being a man who is confident in himself again.
  • You will become a confident man who knows his values, what he wants and where he’s going in his life.
  • You will learn how to think, speak and act according to your values without worrying about reactions from others.
  • You become clear and confident in your ability to create intimacy whenever you want.
  • Your confidence will be something that you start to rely on and trust in every part of your life.

How does the Men's Roundtable work?

Our Men's Roundtable membership gives you access to 3 live group coaching calls per month hosted by Steve and Dan as well as access to over 5 years of previously recorded group coaching calls, an invitation to our private facebook group, and ongoing assignments and resources to help you grow and develop as a confident masculine man. It's like having a personal coach in your pocket, ready to help whenever you need it.

What's the difference between the 1-to-1 coaching and group coaching?

Firstly, anyone who is in our 1-to-1 coaching program automatically receives access to the Men's Roundtable membership and group coaching for free for life. The difference between 1-to-1 and group coaching is down to the speed of change that you want to happen. With more personal time and attention from your coach, the 1-to-1 program is adapted to your specific circumstances and will provide the practical advice you need to know what to think, say and do to create what you want your future to be.

What kind of man is right for your coaching?

We work with men who are willing to take the lead in creating the changes they want in their life and relationships. We only work with men who want to understand their fears, insecurities and shame triggers. We teach you practical ways to deal with the mental and emotional challenges life throws at you and help you reach an unshakeable confidence in yourself (often for the first time in your life).

  • You won’t find negative, hateful language.
  • You won’t find a gender war – we don’t bash women.
  • You won’t find bitching, whining, complaining, and blaming.
  • You won’t find a group of men acting like victims.
  • You won’t find judgment or criticism from others.

We don't waste our time with all those things because we want to take the most efficient and effective path to creating the future you want. So we focus only on the things that are within your control: your thoughts, your words and your actions.

How do I know if I need coaching?

If you are feeling unhappy a lot of the time, if you're lonely, drained, lost, stuck or trapped, then our coaching will help. If you're not sure where your life is headed, if you're not confident in yourself, if you're not sure what you really want in life anymore...our coaching will help.

Whether it’s your job, your intimate relationship, or just wanting to feel more happy and with more purpose, then our coaching will help.

If you are tired of settling for a mediocre life or relationship, tolerating criticism and a lack of fun and intimacy and you're done with placating and playing it safe, then our coaching will help.

We will help you have clarity about what you're REALLY passionate about. We'll get you clear about where you want to be in six months and in six years. We help you figure out what you really want to create vs what other people think you should do.

We help you take action, get unstuck, start moving forward. We help you find what matters instead of just "being busy" in the daily grind. We help you figure out how you're going to get from where you are now to where you want to be.

For many of the guys we work with, they find a peace and a sense of emotional freedom that has them shaking their heads and smiling at how they used to approach life. They feel passionate about life again. They build stronger relationships with the people that matter most to them. They feel satisfied and fulfilled that they have finally found the “right path” forward and life starts to feel fun and inspiring again.

So now you've read that...what do you think? Would YOU like to try some of our coaching for free?

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

This is the secret your dad never told you about – You have more power than you know.

We respect your privacy, read our privacy policy here