The Secret Cure For The Chronically Unhappy Husband

The common hidden agenda afflicting many good guys who wind up as unhappy husbands.

This may seem really obvious to you and you may hate me for it.

It’s like saying “Hey doc, it hurts when I do this. What should I do?”

And he says, “Well…don’t do that.”

Brilliant.

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In the case of the chronically unhappy husband, the secret cure is the same.

Stop doing what is making you unhappy.

But I know it’s not that easy…if it was, you would’ve done it by now.

The fact is the one thing us guys have the MOST control over, but spend the LEAST amount of time working on is this…

It’s our mindset.

While I know dozens of things you can do tonight that will make small improvements in your relationship, intimacy and sex life – none of them will matter as much as your mindset.

Mindset comes first because it’s never about what you’re DOING in life and love that matters. It’s who you are BEING when you do them.

I spent way too many years in the body of a man who did things to please others.

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I did things to keep the peace. I did things with the purpose of making people like me. I did things to get along and not rock the boat.

I did things to get attention and crumbs of affection and sex.

Happy wife – happy wife…and all that mythical crap.

It’s the wrong mindset. Don’t do that.

It not only guarantees you will never get what you want – it ends up making you feel horrible about yourself.

When you feel horrible about yourself you start resenting those you think are responsible for it.

When they lose respect for you…you lose your self-confidence and self-respect.

Those are two major components of our happiness and our mojo.

Without them, there is really nothing we can do to make our life any happier. We make bad choices and weak decisions…otherwise known as “settling”.

Don’t do that.

We stay at jobs we know we should leave. We keep friends in our life who drain us of energy. And we put up with intimate relationships that aren’t even close to intimate anymore.

Don’t do that.

What do you do instead?

Make the very conscious, proactive and self respecting decision to get a “mojo makeover”.

What’s that mean?

It means getting clarity about your real power and purpose. It means reclaiming your confidence and boldness in creating a new reality.

It means getting a clear PLAN for taking the steps you need to be someone you’re proud of so you can feel HAPPY about your new path.

The chronically unhappy husband thing is kind of a misnomer because when you look at the guys who are chronically unhappy (and this was certainly true in my case) nobody would actually know.

What other peoiple see is the parties, the house, the job, the wife and all the trimmings of what seems like a totally normal life…but, there’s a seedy underbelly that noone can see.

To all appearances outside, whether at work or at play, you’re doing just great. But, when there’s missing affection, missing communication, missing intimacy, missing confidence, there’s also a missing sense of manliness and a missing sense of purpose and clarity about your life and where you’re going.

There’s a lot of really successful men out there that I get to meet all the time who are setting the world on fire to all appearances, but inside their heart they know they can be more, they can do more, they can have more when it comes to their romantic, commited and intimate relationships.

But we hide out.

We hide out because we’re a success to everyone else, and everywhere else we appear to be doing just fine, but we’re chronically unhappy because we know we’re not living up to our capabilities.

We know there’s something missing in us. There’s something wrong with the way that we’re showing up in our relationship. There’s something we’re not getting about women, about sex, about romance, about intimacies of all types, and when we don’t know that…we fake it…and when we fake it, we get chronically unhappy.

We’re living a secret.

And we can go like this for decades…which is my story. I went decades pretending that I was living the dream, when really my dream was to live deeper and more meaningfully. With more purpose and more direction and I didn’t get to do that.

I played shallow.

So that’s how I became chronically unhappy.

The secret to getting out of this, is realising later in life that happiness actually had nothing to do with being loved, with being given sex, with having parties or moving and buying houses…

Happiness has nothing to do with that. Because I was missing happiness within.

So the point I’m making, is, that there is nothing a man can do to make his marriage more enjoyable, more happy or more rewarding than to find his own happiness and his reason for being; and looking to others to fill our vesel by getting them to appreciate us, be affectionate toward us, like us, touch us, have sex with us, is the shallowest form of personal happiness.

I’d like to invite you to consider having a conversatin with me – a guy who’s been through the mill and understands all this, a guy who knows that you can have more, be more and live deeper and more meaningfully.

I’d love to have a conversation with you, hear how your life is going and help you identify how to make changes to live the life you want, filled with the love and appreciation you desire.

If you want to learn more about how to take a bigger step toward being a clear-headed, confident man of action, then find out more here. I would be thrilled to help you get there – our first discovery call is always free and always gives you a BIG boost of confidence.

You WILL become a clearer, stronger, more confident man only through other men. Your woman cannot take you there – and she doesn’t WANT to…trust me on that.

My new book Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband will help you to lead yourself and your relationship back to good health. Understand why your partner acts the way she does toward you and learn how to lead your life in the direction you want it to go. You CAN have the relationship you want, fulfilling all your desires while maintaining love and respect.

I wrote a free e-book to help men learn how to lose their fear and be more bold in their marriage to create the love and connection they want. Get The Hard to Swallow Truth About Saving Your Marriage HERE

You can watch all my videos here and read my blog articles here.

See what life changing results you’re missing out on here.

Photo: Flickr

Dan Dore Certified Professional Men’s Coach

Dan Dore is a certified professional Men’s Coach specialising in helping men who are struggling and feeling unhappy and unfulfilled i their life and relationships. With over 20,000 hours experience coaching men to completely resolve their self-esteem and confidence issues and improve their ability to create emotional connection, build trust, earn respect, and lead the sexual intimacy and affection in their relationship whenever they want. No more fearing rejection or other people’s opinion of you - I want to help you finally be happy in yourself and trust your ability to create anything you want in your future.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Is our coaching right for you?

Our coaching process was created for men who want to feel happier and more fulfilled in their life and relationships. We teach you how to have more confidence and clarity about what you want in your life and create an action plan to start making it happen.

Do you only work with men in marriage?

While our coaching teaches you how to create a more connected, more fun and passionate marriage, we also work with you to have more clarity, enthusiasm and fulfillment in all areas of your life. We help you understand what you really want your future to look like and we also teach you how to be in control of your emotions so that you can be confident and assertive no matter how difficult your circumstances are right now .

What happens in the free 90-minute coaching call?

In our free initial coaching calls, we listen a lot, we ask you questions to understand what life is really like for you at the moment, we help you identify what you want to be different and what's holding you back from creating those changes now. Then we help you create a practical plan of action to start moving forward straight away.

What will I learn in your coaching programs?

We take you through a process to:

Stop being tentative and become more focused and directed.
Develop control over your thoughts and emotions like never before.
Become a master of the masculine and feminine dance required for a more passionate connection in your romantic relationships.
Build and sustain your personal masculine confidence so that you don't get "triggered" or feel disrespected and can respond with strength and confidence to any situation.
Become more connected, aware and present with everyone (this is a critical step in your ability to build attraction and desire as well as have people trust you and respect you more).
Stop the destructive emotions of anger and resentment which keep you going around in frustrating cycles and start from moving forward with purpose.
Stop being anxious, needy and overly reliant upon other people's opinions and approval of you and start feeling more peace, happiness and a deep sense of being a man who is confident in himself again.
You will become a confident man who knows his values, what he wants and where he’s going in his life.
You will learn how to think, speak and act according to your values without worrying about reactions from others.
You become clear and confident in your ability to create intimacy whenever you want.
Your confidence will be something that you start to rely on and trust in every part of your life.

How does the Men's Roundtable work?

Our Men's Roundtable membership gives you access to 3 live group coaching calls per month hosted by Steve and Dan as well as access to over 5 years of previously recorded group coaching calls, an invitation to our private facebook group, and ongoing assignments and resources to help you grow and develop as a confident masculine man. It's like having a personal coach in your pocket, ready to help whenever you need it.

What's the difference between the 1-to-1 coaching and group coaching?

Firstly, anyone who is in our 1-to-1 coaching program automatically receives access to the Men's Roundtable membership and group coaching for free for life. The difference between 1-to-1 and group coaching is down to the speed of change that you want to happen. With more personal time and attention from your coach, the 1-to-1 program is adapted to your specific circumstances and will provide the practical advice you need to know what to think, say and do to create what you want your future to be.

What kind of man is right for your coaching?

We work with men who are willing to take the lead in creating the changes they want in their life and relationships. We only work with men who want to understand their fears, insecurities and shame triggers. We teach you practical ways to deal with the mental and emotional challenges life throws at you and help you reach an unshakeable confidence in yourself (often for the first time in your life).

You won’t find negative, hateful language.
You won’t find a gender war – we don’t bash women.
You won’t find bitching, whining, complaining, and blaming.
You won’t find a group of men acting like victims.
You won’t find judgment or criticism from others.

We don't waste our time with all those things because we want to take the most efficient and effective path to creating the future you want. So we focus only on the things that are within your control: your thoughts, your words and your actions.

How do I know if I need coaching?

If you are feeling unhappy a lot of the time, if you're lonely, drained, lost, stuck or trapped, then our coaching will help. If you're not sure where your life is headed, if you're not confident in yourself, if you're not sure what you really want in life anymore...our coaching will help.

Whether it’s your job, your intimate relationship, or just wanting to feel more happy and with more purpose, then our coaching will help.

If you are tired of settling for a mediocre life or relationship, tolerating criticism and a lack of fun and intimacy and you're done with placating and playing it safe, then our coaching will help.

We will help you have clarity about what you're REALLY passionate about. We'll get you clear about where you want to be in six months and in six years. We help you figure out what you really want to create vs what other people think you should do.

We help you take action, get unstuck, start moving forward. We help you find what matters instead of just "being busy" in the daily grind. We help you figure out how you're going to get from where you are now to where you want to be.

For many of the guys we work with, they find a peace and a sense of emotional freedom that has them shaking their heads and smiling at how they used to approach life. They feel passionate about life again. They build stronger relationships with the people that matter most to them. They feel satisfied and fulfilled that they have finally found the “right path” forward and life starts to feel fun and inspiring again.

So now you've read that...what do you think? Would YOU like to try some of our coaching for free?

Have questions about your relationship?

Apply for a free, no strings, 90 minute deep dive personalized coaching session to help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you moving toward the future you want. We offer a unique form of Men's Coaching and we attract smart guys who see through surface level hype and bravado. We hide nothing and hold nothing back. We know that everything you want is behind your fear and skepticism…just like it was for us.