How Do You Know If You’re Being Masculine Or Not?

Hey brother,

Has this kind of mind boggling conversation ever happened to you?

Typically, it’s with a woman…but I see it with men all the time too.

“Hey, I’ve got a question.”

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“What is it?”

“The other day I was driving down that road behind the lake and HUGE mountain lion ran right in front of me! He was beautiful, but scary, because he stopped on the side of the road and looked me right in the eye. Gave me chills. I read that a mountain lion’s top speed is like 40-50 mph. And a horse is like 25-30 mph. It’s amazing we don’t hear more about horse attacks. Anyway, when I was driving I hit a patch of horrible washboards. I don’t know why they can’t maintain that road better. It’s like they fix it one day and the next day it’s horrible again. It makes you wonder why people pay taxes. Anyway, what was I saying?”

“You said you had a question.”

“Oh yeah. The front end on my car is making loud a rattling noise. Could you take a look at it?”

“Sure.”

Why Do People Do This?

I had a speaking coach tell me back in 1993 that I was a “3-dimensional thinker” when I spoke in front of a group. He meant I didn’t have a clear picture of what I wanted to say, therefore, every thought led me to another thought that became disconnected from the point I was trying to get across.

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And I’ve been working on this ever since.

Every time I write an email or make a video I have to remind myself, “Get to the fucking point, Steve!”

It requires me to focus on ONE THING that matters most when communicating. In fact it’s the one thing that matters most when I’m thinking, planning, feeling or doing anything.

What is it?

Watch this video to hear why I believe CLARITY must come first.

Knowledge is powerful, especially when it comes to being in control of your emotions.

You’ve heard me give a definition of masculinity which I believe captures the essence of being a strong, independent, self-reliant and compassionate man.

The words are CALM, DELIBERATE and PLEASED.

But it’s impossible for a man to achieve those things if he is unclear.

He can’t decide what to to with his career or business.  He doesn’t know how to respond to his meddling parents.  He can’t discipline his kids.  And he is lost in what to think, say or do in his failing relationship.

How do you get CLARITY?

It must be consciously pursued.  It’s a learned skill.  It must be a relentless commitment to becoming clear on who you are, what you value, what you believe, what you really want and WHERE you plan to end up in the next 30 years.

How do you figure out all that stuff?

You commit to spending time learning and growing with other initiated men. Men who are a few steps ahead of you and want you to walk with them in the journey of a lifetime.

This is why Dan, Tim & I create courses, retreats and our 1-to-1 and group coaching programs to get more men on this path with us.

Spending time with other men who have walked this path before you will bring you the clarity you need to become the man you want to be.

We want to meet you! Come and join Dan and I along with some incredibly amazing men who have walked in your shoes – or are walking in them now….

Free: If you’re serious about building your masculine mojo then apply for a coaching call with us we will help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you feeling confident again.

What do I mean by “SERIOUS”?

  • We take YOU and your struggles seriously…because we’ve been there
  • We know living in a sexless marriage is serious…and so is showing your kids what a healthy affectionate relationship looks like
  • A lack of intimacy of all kinds is serious now and for the long term health of your marriage
  • We believe your personal emotional strength and well-being is serious
  • We seriously show up 110% to our conversations with you and expect you to be as serious as we are about changing your life

Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity

$69 Monthly Subscription: Join Dan and I in our Men’s Roundtable Group Coaching membership. We meet three times per month for live group coaching and we support you in a powerful group of men facing the same issues you are. Get instant access to 5 years of recorded sessions. Try it for one month. What have you got to lose?

$397 One-Time Payment: How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a self-paced course with me, Tim Wade, and a community of men learning how to lead when you’ve just heard, “I love you but I’m not in love with you” or “I want to separate or divorce.”

As Teddy Roosevelt said:

“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”

author avatar
Steve Horsmon Certified Professional Men’s Coach
Steve Horsmon is a Certified Professional Life Coach and owner of Goodguys2Greatmen Relationship Coaching in Livermore, Colorado. He has appeared on many television, radio, youtube, and podcast channels discussing the coaching and psychology factors relating to maintaining healthy relationships. Steve provides personal, practical, action oriented coaching services for men through 1-on-1 coaching, private retreats, group coaching and workshops designed to give men new knowledge, skills and the right mindset to achieve their relationship goals. He is a committed, lifelong mentor for men who teaches his clients how to discover their masculine strength so they can confidently take the actions required to create the life and relationships that they really want. With over 10 years experience he has created thousands of videos and articles for well known relationship websites such as The Good Men Project, Medium and the Gottman Institute.
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