My Wife Said I’m Done With You And This Marriage

Your wife said I’m done with you and this marriage and suddenly your gut opened up and a gaping hole of anxiety and fear took hold of you. I know, I’ve been through exactly this experience too.

After years of coaching men through this situation, I want to show you a different perspective of WHY women say “I’m done” as well as some steps to calm your emotions and get back to feeling confident again.

Here are the biggest, ugliest emotional daggers a wife can throw at you

• I think we need time apart.
• I don’t see this ever working out.
• I don’t feel in love with you anymore.
• I don’t think I want to be married anymore.
• and….I’m Done!

I haven’t met a man yet who doesn’t shudder with confusion, panic and heartache when he hears those words.

Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity >>

We teach you not only what to SAY or DO when this happens.

We teach you what you must THINK.

You need to know where these words come from. What has she been thinking? What has she been feeling? What other plans has she been making?

I won’t sugar coat this.

There are times when a woman is 100% serious – 100% clear – 100% dead set on leaving and there is ZERO percent chance of changing her mind. And, yes, you are getting divorced. Period.

When Your Wife Said “I’m Done” She’s Expressing Her True Feelings In That Moment

“I’m Done!” is often a declaration that she is done with the status quo. She’s done feeling anxious, sad, alone, unimportant, ignored and bored.

This kind of “I’m Done” is a cry for help. For change. For a glimpse of strength and leadership from her man to convince her things aren’t as bad as she is feeling in the moment.

This is when we normally receive our first email from a guy asking for help and support.

He wants to know, “What does leadership even mean?” And “How does she want me to be strong? Strong in what?”

After Hearing “I’m Done” Your 1st Step Is To STOP And DO NOTHING

Weird, I know. It’s so counter-intuitive for men.

Don’t try to analyze, criticize, defend, explain, interrogate or otherwise engineer some damn solution.

The reasoning behind this is because anything you do next will be FELT to be a denial and invalidation of her feelings.

She will experience your fear, anger and anxiety as further confirmation she is in the wrong place…with the wrong person.

So what do you do?

My suggestion for that very moment is to say, “I want you to know I hear you loud and clear. I see how you’re feeling and I understand how horrible it must feel. I’m sorry.”

Resist the temptation to explain YOUR side of the story. Resist the urge to dig in for details and explanations.

Lose your immediate need for HER to make YOU feel better.

What’s The 2nd Step?

You need smart, wise, experienced men in your life at this point to guide you, support you and have your back.

This was my salvation when I was in those shoes.

There is stuff a man will never learn in therapy.

There is a masculine mindset and perspective a man will never learn in couples counseling.

There stuff my dad NEVER TOLD ME about being a man and responding to this situation

We want you to learn this stuff because “this shit works”. See the video for more about that.

How to Defuse the Ticking Divorce Bomb

The Most Powerful, Man-Friendly, Effective and Compassionate Community in the World

How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb

If you already have a tight group of smart, initiated men to talk with and learn from then you may not need this world-class course.

But if you don’t, Coach Tim Wade and I actually GUARANTEE this online course and community will blow your mind.

If she said, “I’m done” this course is where you want to be. It’s where you can keep yourself and your head straight. The first step is to calm your monkey mind and do NOTHING. The next step is to connect with men who have your back and support you. Take these two steps and your life is only going to get better from here. That’s a promise.

Do you want 1:1 mentoring? Fill out our Contact Form. No strings. Just man-to-man support and conversation.

Steve Horsmon Certified Professional Men’s Coach

Steve Horsmon is a Certified Professional Life Coach and owner of Goodguys2Greatmen Relationship Coaching in Livermore, Colorado. He has appeared on many television, radio, youtube, and podcast channels discussing the coaching and psychology factors relating to maintaining healthy relationships. Steve provides personal, practical, action oriented coaching services for men through 1-on-1 coaching, private retreats, group coaching and workshops designed to give men new knowledge, skills and the right mindset to achieve their relationship goals. He is a committed, lifelong mentor for men who teaches his clients how to discover their masculine strength so they can confidently take the actions required to create the life and relationships that they really want. With over 10 years experience he has created thousands of videos and articles for well known relationship websites such as The Good Men Project, Medium and the Gottman Institute.

See Full Bio