How to Make Your Wife More Affectionate in 7 Days
One reason I do what I do is the joy of watching another guy’s “lights coming on” for the first time.
What do I mean by that?
This is when a powerful new perspective and an incredibly confident wave of awareness happens for him. Or, he just mastered a new skill in his masculine mojo toolbox.
One example of this is when a long time married guy spends SEVEN STRAIGHT DAYS practicing just ONE new behavior with his wife. Then I hear this on day 8. (this is absolutely true)
“This week she has been more affectionate, relaxed and complimentary toward me than this entire last year! I know it’s because of the change I made.”
What was the new behavior?
There are dozens of examples of changes you can make, but in this case, it was simply to STOP ASKING QUESTIONS.
Really. In this case, it was that simple.
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Now, of course, this was a customized solution for a man who is doing some deep work with me.
He learned that he was asking way too many pestering, intrusive questions. It became a source of constant pressure that kept her away and in a defensive, distant and snarky mood.
I talk in more depth about this phenomena in the video below.
The “lights” came on for him.
What he learned was not only was SHE affected by the constant pressure of questions, he hated being that guy. He learned that she couldn’t like him before he liked himself.
Fixing that became even more important to him than her reactions to him. And feeling good about himself was the powerful motivation he needed to start making these kinds of changes. He did it for HIM – not her.
His penchant for pestering questions came from a place of insecurity most men never talk about. And I can relate. This was one area I had to face and tackle for myself.
What does it take to become massively more confident and secure in yourself so you can give a woman what she needs to feel more appreciative, relaxed and complimentary?
It takes a commitment to learning, internalizing and PRACTICING a whole new mindset. New operating principles. Brand new mojo.
And we’ll never find that just in a book, video or podcast. What worked for me is what will work for you. Spending dedicated time with other initiated men and committing yourself to a process of personal change.
This is how we turn our “lights turn on”. And there’s nothing else I would rather do than to spend some quality time helping you do that. I’ve developed a reliable 90-day process that gets consistent results for men and it doesn’t hurt a bit.
Actually, we end up laughing together more than anything else.
As one guy said to me the other day:
“Today there is better energy. I’ve explained my insight to her in a non-apologetic, non-approval seeking way. And it feels cool. Because I don’t care how she feels about me. I love this work!” (way to go JM)
It all starts with a simple, powerful, courageous conversation.
Click here to get started. You’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain.
My new book Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband will help you to lead yourself and your relationship back to good health. Understand why your partner acts the way she does toward you and learn how to lead your life in the direction you want it to go. You CAN have the relationship you want, fulfilling all your desires while maintaining love and respect.
I wrote a free e-book to help men learn how to lose their fear and be more bold in their marriage to create the love and connection they want. Get The Hard to Swallow Truth About Saving Your Marriage.
If you want to learn more about how to take a bigger step toward being a clear-headed, confident man of action, then find out more here. I would be thrilled to help you get there – our first discovery call is always free and always gives you a BIG boost of confidence.
You WILL become a clearer, stronger, more confident man only through other men. Your woman cannot take you there – and she doesn’t WANT to…trust me on that.
Photo: rema1n5 / Flickr
Q: Why does asking too many questions push my wife away instead of bringing us closer?
A: Because constant questions often come from insecurity, not curiosity. They create pressure, even when your intentions are good. She feels monitored instead of trusted. When you stop pestering and start grounding yourself, her nervous system relaxes—and connection returns naturally.
Q: How can such a small change really create a big shift in my marriage?
A: Because it’s not about the behavior—it’s about the mindset behind it. When you change who you’re being, everything you do lands differently. Seven days of one clean, confident behavior can undo months of pressure and rebuild attraction fast.
Q: What does it mean when you say ‘she can’t like you before you like yourself’?
A: If you don’t respect and enjoy who you are, your energy asks her to fill that gap. That feels heavy. When you make changes for yourself, not to manage her reactions, you become calmer, more attractive, and easier to be close to.
Q: Why do men ask so many questions in relationships without realizing it?
A: Because questions can be a disguised way of seeking reassurance, approval, or control. It’s a hidden insecurity most men never name. Once you see it, you often realize you hate being that guy—and that awareness alone can flip the switch.
Q: How do I become more confident and secure without faking it?
A: You practice new masculine operating principles consistently. Confidence isn’t positive thinking—it’s lived experience. When you commit to learning, practicing, and refining new behaviors with other men, your “lights turn on” for real, and it shows everywhere.
Q: Why does doing this work with other men matter so much?
A: Because your woman can’t initiate you into confidence—and she doesn’t want to. Men grow through men. Shared practice, accountability, and perspective accelerate change. That’s how new mojo sticks—and why real transformation happens faster than you expect.
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Have questions about your relationship?
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