Hey brother,
Don’t be afraid. This is actually going to help you…a lot.
Remember, I write these articles and make my videos for a slightly younger version of me. The fact that you may relate to these topics is pure coincidence.
So when I suggest you may have handed over a secret, James Bond 007 lipstick tube of whoop-ass to your wife or girlfriend, I’m talking from experience. (I introduce this in the video below)
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Even though the men I work with are rock stars in the domain of their chosen profession, they can’t say the same when they walk through the door of their own home.
Why?
Because even though they’ve mastered the skills, tactics, knowledge and strategies of excelling at work…they feel like a wet noodle in the scary relationship realm of vulnerability, intimacy, marriage and sex.
They have supreme confidence in what they know and what they do.
But ONLY there.
And that’s the problem.
If you only have what I call Competency Based Confidence the only time you will feel confident (aka. calm, cool, collected) is WHEN YOU’RE DOING THOSE THINGS.
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This may explain why many men spend a lot of time at work. It’s where they feel most comfortable – most acknowledged and most appreciated.
They get their sense of personal confidence and well-being only from what they are good at.
Hmmmm…I think you’re starting to get my point.
Watch this video about the difference between Competency Based Confidence and Spiritually Based Confidence. Then come back to the email.
“Confidence is something that ought to transcend what we know and what we do.”
~Barbara DeAngelis
As you heard me explain in the video, there is ANOTHER type of confidence that is entirely different from competency based confidence.
It’s called spiritual confidence.
This is what you need in the areas of your life where skill, knowledge and talent don’t count for much.
In the book, “Confidence: Finding It and Living It“, Barbara DeAngelis does a beautiful job of explaining the OTHER type of confidence.
“Ultimately, spiritual confidence is a quiet, gentle sense of peace. It fills your heart and nurtures your spirit. It allows you to travel your path knowing that you are on the right road, and trusting that wherever you are is just where you need to be.”
Do you know anyone in your life who seems to have that?
Yeah, most people don’t. It’s a rare type of confidence that doesn’t require demonstrated talent, knowledge or authority.
It’s a chosen believe system that tells you that you’re actually okay…just as you are right now. You are bullet-proof to the judgments of others and their disapproval.
From this place you can’t be “hurt, insulted, controlled, offended or emasculated.” You’re no longer a victim of external input.
You’ve got a chosen frame of mind or a “lane” you stay in that supports the truth about your own well-being. You’re valuable, lovable and significant EVEN IF someone else is acting like you’re not.
This is the secret power we all really want. It’s not a tube of Whoop-Ass.
It’s secret tube of mojo. Calm, cool, collected, self-assured well-being. Kind of like this guy.
Some men reading this will get it right off the bat. Just reading the description of spiritual confidence and why it’s important will cause a serious shift in their thinking which will change their life starting tonight.
Other guys (like me) need more help. And this help can only come from other initiated men who have ALREADY figured it out.
This is why we’ve created many ways for you to get involved in the community and start building your own foundation of confidence.
Free: If you’re serious about building your masculine mojo then apply for a coaching call with us we will help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you feeling confident again.
What do I mean by “SERIOUS”?
- We take YOU and your struggles seriously…because we’ve been there
- We know living in a sexless marriage is serious…and so is showing your kids what a healthy affectionate relationship looks like
- A lack of intimacy of all kinds is serious now and for the long term health of your marriage
- We believe your personal emotional strength and well-being is serious
- We seriously show up 110% to our conversations with you and expect you to be as serious as we are about changing your life
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$69 Monthly Subscription: Join Dan and I in our Men’s Roundtable Group Coaching membership. We meet three times per month for live group coaching and we support you in a powerful group of men facing the same issues you are. Get instant access to 5 years of recorded sessions. Try it for one month. What have you got to lose?
$397 One-Time Payment: How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a self-paced course with me, Tim Wade, and a community of men learning how to lead when you’ve just heard, “I love you but I’m not in love with you” or “I want to separate or divorce.”
As Teddy Roosevelt said:
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”
