Hey brother,
I give a lot of advice that seems to make no damn sense.
Guys are usually raring to do something…anything… when their wife starts acting a little squirrelly and wanting some space and independence.
And when it comes to a certain question, I always get resistance until the client actually implements the advice.
The 3-Step Emergency Triage for You AND Your Marriage >>
What’s the question?
How in the world can I get her back if I don’t talk to her?!?!
The problem is always the same.
He wants MUCH more than just to “talk to her”.
He wants to know every single thought she has. He wants an explanation for every little reaction. He wants clear and specific instructions on exactly what he needs to do NOW in order to get things back in order.
Not tomorrow. Right now, dammit.
Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity >>
Counter-Intuitive Coaching
My immediate advice is to breathe – very deeply – about 10 times.
The next 5 steps are:
1. Release the drag and let some line out. (immediately stop the fight)
2. Listen more than you talk…even if she isn’t talking.
3. Stop seeing her as a horrible, disloyal person who wants to hurt you. See deeper into her fear and anger – it’s not all about you.
4. Find a high quality friend/mentor you can confide in now and spend some time with.
5. Stay present, available, responsive and engaged. Don’t run off angry or make any rash decisions.
It’s SO tempting to want to FIX this now. You want information. You want feedback. You want to fix the KNOT in your stomach trying to tell you that you just might die.
Here’s the truth. You’re not going to die.
In fact, if you can just settle down long enough to get your head on straight, you’ll realize that you’re going to be just fine.
This is the perfect time to learn how a man handles these tests in life.
I talk about it more in this video.
We created our coaching program specifically for men in this situation.
If you’re a man who wants some IMMEDIATE RELIEF from the monkey chatter in your head, this program is for you.
A man currently coaching with us sent us this review the other day:
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Clarity. It’s king.
Clarity of thought. Clarity about your feelings. Clarity about what is REALLY happening so you can settle down and sleep.
Without clarity everything feels out of control.
Without clarity you feel like you’re on the uphill side of a seesaw with her sitting on the other side…just sitting there. And you’ve got no clue when/if she’ll let you down.
If this sounds familiar, our coaching program and community is for you. You will immediately connect with other high quality, intelligent, caring men currently going through the same thing.
Don’t go through this alone. We have a range of affordable options to help you and WAY too many other men in the same boat who would love to meet you.
Here are some options to help you get started asap…
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What do I mean by “SERIOUS”?
- We take YOU and your struggles seriously…because we’ve been there
- We know living in a sexless marriage is serious…and so is showing your kids what a healthy affectionate relationship looks like
- A lack of intimacy of all kinds is serious now and for the long term health of your marriage
- We believe your personal emotional strength and well-being is serious
- We seriously show up 110% to our conversations with you and expect you to be as serious as we are about changing your life
Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity
$69 Monthly Subscription: Join Dan and I in our Men’s Roundtable Group Coaching membership. We meet three times per month for live group coaching and we support you in a powerful group of men facing the same issues you are. Get instant access to 5 years of recorded sessions. Try it for one month. What have you got to lose?
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As Teddy Roosevelt said:
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”
