I want to talk to you about something that’s very close to my heart.
It’s something that has affected every area of my life in a positive way. In particular it has benefited my relationship with my wife and 3 kids enormously. It brought me back from a place of fear and insecurity and reminded me who I really was.
I wanted to make this article for those of you in a relationship that is struggling. Where you feel like you’re constantly worried and walking on eggshells.
When we find ourselves in the midst of a crisis, we often try anything and everything to make things better, to get back to being calm and relaxed again. But when your wife or partner is keeping you at a distance it’s hard, what do you do?
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If she’s constantly upset or angry, how can you connect with her?
In this video I discuss the best tool to connect emotionally with your wife and start rebuilding your relationship on some solid foundations.
What we’re talking about is being able to trust in WHO YOU ARE, trusting again in WHO YOU KNOW YOURSELF TO BE and then being able to BELIEVE IN YOUR FUTURE again.
It all comes down to HONESTY.
I had to come back to this understanding, to re-learn it and I’m so glad I did because it has affected so many areas of my life in such a positive way.
It’s a question of being honest about who you are, what you feel, what you’re thinking and then communicating that with the people you care about, those that are closest to you.
Communicating what you REALLY THINK and REALLY TRULY FEEL is the best way for you to move forward in CREATING the life and relationship that you want to experience.
Sometimes communicating 100% honestly receives an unexpected response from the person you’re talking to. It can put pressure on them, it can make them face up to something they have been trying to avoid, it can be something they just don’t want to hear.
But there’s one certainty with being honest – it ALWAYS creates a connection.
Being honest also makes life so much easier – as always I’m advising myself .
When you’re being 100% honest with those around you, there’s no hiding of feelings, there’s no pretending to be OK when you’re not, there’s no changing who you’re being or what you’re saying to try and fit other people’s perception of you or to try and please other people.
You’re no longer trying to hit any of those moving targets. And you don’t measure yourself by how others react to you either.
It’s incredibly freeing!
You’re finally just working with what you have control over which is what you do, what you say and how you’re being.
Anything other than focusing on those three areas means you’re trying to control the situation or another person’s behavior – but you have no control over those things – so you’re really just creating your own discomfort and frustration.
When we communicate with honesty we do two incredibly important things.
We stand up for ourselves and build some self-respect, some self-worth and confidence
We create a connection with the person we’re communicating with
Many people think small lies in a relationship can be ok and can avoid hurting your partner. But without honesty there is no trust.
And a relationship that lacks trust is often tense and devoid of real affection.
When you lead with honesty you will start to build the trust again. When the trust builds, it removes a large potential for worry. And when worry leaves, in comes safety, relaxation and connection.
Creating an honest relationship builds a cushion between you and the difficulties of the world. Having a partner you can trust and rely on also makes it easier to take the risks that help us grow.
You can’t have a culture of honesty in your relationship just some of the time.
Honesty isn’t just about telling the truth either. It’s about holding yourself to account for how you show up. And sometimes holding your partner to account for how they show up too.
Honesty can be brutal so it pays to be considerate with your wording.
If honesty is a value you hold for your relationship, we firmly believe that if you lead, others will follow.
If you keep honesty at the heart of your interactions, you’ll find that the difficulties become less and the connection and affection continues to grow.
If you want to improve your honesty and hold yourself accountable to being a better man, we would love to help you become so clear in what you want to experience in your relationship over the next 20 years that you embrace those difficult conversations and start CREATING the life that you want.
What if this next year everything changed for you?
That’s what we want for you brother.
Books, articles and videos are great but to really make quick progress and get to a point where you’re consistently calm, confident and enthusiastic about life again you need other men who understand what you’re going through and who will challenge you to make the changes that you need to make.
Come and join us, either through 1-on-1 coaching with my colleague Dan Dore or me, or in our group coaching program with other amazing men who are travelling the same path as you right now in our Men’s Live Coaching Roundtable where we will help you re-find the confident, attractive man you know yourself to be.
Come and try our coaching through our Roundtable live coaching program here. There’s an amazing tribe of guys in this group with us, supporting and helping each other through this process of growth and self-realization.
We love teaching men these tools – how to be better, how to know who you are, what you stand for, what you want and how to CREATE it in your life through our Masculine Confidence coaching programs.
Dan and I are here to guide you on this mission.
If you want to become a man who knows and trusts himself to create the life and love he wants, apply for a free consultation call with me or Dan. I guarantee you’ll feel a whole lot better by the end of our talk.
My new book Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband will help you to lead yourself and your relationship back to good health. Understand why your partner acts the way she does toward you and learn how to lead your life in the direction you want it to go. You CAN have the relationship you want, fulfilling all your desires while maintaining love and respect.
I wrote a free e-book to help men learn how to lose their fear and be more bold in their marriage to create the love and connection they want. Get The Hard to Swallow Truth About Saving Your Marriage.
