When you’re afraid that your marriage is ending, the feelings of uncertainty, anxiety and betrayal can be overwhelming. To survive divorce and feel good about yourself again you must learn a new understanding of your feelings and what this period in your life has to teach you.
The Drug Called “Fear”
Fear feels like your legs can’t move and something is on your heels about to kill you.
It’s a drug that makes you feel powerless to fix the crumbling chaos in front of you.
And fear can feel like the bone-crushing pressure of never measuring up…never being good enough…and being an absolute failure who is too damn weak to save his family, marriage or even himself.
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When your brain is on the drug called fear you feel murky, wishy-washy, uncertain and powerless.
And guess what?
You’re not alone. Even men who, on the outside, look like they are crushing life have tremendous battles with fearful thoughts, emotions and stupid over-reactions.
Other articles you may find helpful:
How to Use Being Separated to Save Your MarriageWhat a Golden Retriever Can Teach Us About Taking Our Balls Back
Sometimes a picture is worth a 1000 words. I could try to type those up for you but I’m going to stop and ask you to watch this video for a crystal clear explanation of fear and HOW TO GET YOUR MOJO BACK.
How to Stop Fearful Thinking (and get your Mojo back!)
“The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown.” ~H. P. Lovecraft
What You Can Control To Survive Divorce
The people who fear the unknown the most are those who believe they should be able to CONTROL the unknown.
Control the unknown? Yeah, say it a few more times. It’s actually funny. And it’s incredibly common in fearful people. They try to control people, circumstances and outcomes. Every scary thought they have is a new opportunity to impose their control over something.
But here’s the kicker. You will NEVER have control over the fearful thoughts and stories that enter your brain.
You DO have control over your responses. You DO have control over how you THINK ABOUT YOUR FEARFUL THOUGHTS. And while you can seldom create the exact outcome you prefer, you will ALWAYS be able to learn and course-correct along the way.
Other articles you may find helpful:
No Intimacy In Your Marriage Now What?How to Reconnect to Your Phone Addicted Wife – by Dan Dore
Hope not for a specific outcome. I want you to learn to hope that you will learn, grow and things will eventually make sense. Clarity is available to you when you learn how to clear your thinking and operate independently from outcomes.
I want you to believe that all along the way, your sense of peace and well-being is guaranteed as long as you don’t tie your well-being to outcomes you don’t control.
To survive her affair and feel good again requires trust in the process. Men we’ve worked with can vouch for how effective our coaching process is.
Other articles you may find helpful:
The Flight Plan of a Solo Marriage RecoveryHow a Man Should Measure His Mojo
Your Next Move To Feeling Better
What have you been thinking lately? We want to talk with you about it!
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Members of this tribe include me, my colleague Coach Dan Dore and our other certified coaches who are there to help you find your feet again.
More related articles for you:
My Wife Is Always On Her Phone But I Want Her To Spend Time With Me!Is Trust Causing The Disconnection In Your Marriage?
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