Want To Be More Confident In Your Relationship?
I read something really funny the other day.
A man was asked, “What do you think the THREE most important aspects are in a good sex life?”
His answer?
1. The proper length/girth ratio
2. Being able to last a minimum of 30 minutes
3. Is there a number 3?
This is funny because it’s not far from the truth in how many of us have traditionally measured sexual success and prowess.
But in my humble opinion, it’s the wrong measure.
We do this a lot.
Like when it comes to measuring your MOJO.
MOJO is an incredible cocktail of groundedness, mental clarity, emotional strength, calmness, confidence, self-respect and peace of mind.
And how have most of us traditionally measured MOJO?
With a “Femometer”.
This is a highly unpredictable gauge of feminine approval, respect, validation, trust and desire.
When you look at the “Femometer” for a measure of your MOJO you’ll notice the needle bounces around like a polygraph test.
And along with that needle, so goes your feeling of MOJO. It’s all over the place.
Don’t do that. Do this instead.
Other articles you may find helpful:
The Kind Of Confidence That Your Wife Is Attracted ToWhy “Working” to Save a Marriage Doesn’t Work for Men
Create your own MOJOMETER. (noun: mo – JOM ‘ – eter)
I explain more in this video.
The MOJOMETER is a highly accurate gauge calibrated by top members of the state and federal Departments of Weights and Measures, to be dead-on balls accurate. (My Cousin Vinny reference for my brother)
The MOJOMETER measures the health of your MINDSET, EATING HABITS, EXERCISE HABITS and SLEEP HABITS.
Do you see something they all have in common?
Yes, you have absolute and total control over these variables.
And the most important one of those four is MINDSET.
What thoughts are you choosing to think? Who do you hang around to strengthen your mind? What books are you reading? What’s the miserable story in your head that’s creating the knot in your stomach?
This is the primary work I do with men in coaching, men’s retreats and the upcoming online course.
We work on the fearful, angry, destructive thoughts that make men nuts. We look at the mythical stories we tell ourselves about what happiness, certainty and security really is.
We debunk the notion that our MOJO is measured by what people think of us or how our women are treating us.
We support each other in building a brand new perspective and a new thought process about self-respect, personal value and long-term happiness.
It’s your MINDSET that has the largest impact on your MOJOMETER.
Stay tuned for the release of the How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb online course. The pilot is underway now. Click the link to go to the course page and find the button to put yourself on the VIP notification list.
My new book Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband will help you to lead yourself and your relationship back to good health. Understand why your partner acts the way she does toward you and learn how to lead your life in the direction you want it to go. You CAN have the relationship you want, fulfilling all your desires while maintaining love and respect.
I wrote a free e-book to help men learn how to lose their fear and be more bold in their marriage to create the love and connection they want. Get The Hard to Swallow Truth About Saving Your Marriage.
If you want to learn more about how to take a bigger step toward being a clear-headed, confident man of action, then find out more here. I would be thrilled to help you get there – our first discovery call is always free and always gives you a BIG boost of confidence.
You WILL become a clearer, stronger, more confident man only through other men. Your woman cannot take you there – and she doesn’t WANT to…trust me on that.
Q: Why does my confidence rise and fall based on how my wife is treating me?
A: Because you’re using a Femometer to measure your mojo—gauging your worth by feminine approval, desire, or validation. That needle is wildly unstable. When your confidence depends on her moods or reactions, your mojo will always be shaky and reactive instead of grounded.
Q: What is the MOJOMETER and how is it different from seeking validation?
A: The MOJOMETER measures what you actually control: mindset, eating habits, exercise, and sleep. These are stable, internal sources of confidence. When you build mojo this way, it doesn’t spike or crash based on sex, praise, or approval—it becomes calm, steady, and reliable.
Q: Why is mindset the most important part of real mojo?
A: Because your thoughts create your emotional reality. The stories you tell yourself about worth, happiness, and security either strengthen or destroy your confidence. Change the mindset, and everything else—relationships, sex, leadership—starts operating from a healthier place.
Q: How does measuring mojo by sex or attraction backfire?
A: It turns intimacy into a performance review. When sex becomes proof of worth, anxiety replaces presence. Mojo isn’t sexual metrics like performance or duration—it’s groundedness, clarity, and self-respect. Ironically, when you stop measuring sex this way, sex often improves.
Q: What should I focus on instead of trying to feel wanted or desired?
A: Focus on being a man you respect. Eat well. Train your body. Sleep properly. Strengthen your thinking. Surround yourself with men who challenge you. When your mojo comes from inside, desire becomes a bonus—not a requirement for feeling okay.
Q: How do I stop giving other people power over my confidence?
A: You consciously retire the Femometer and start tracking your own standards. Ask: Did I act with integrity today? Did I think clearly? Did I take care of myself? That’s how long-term confidence is built—and why no one else gets to decide your worth again.
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Have questions about your relationship?
Apply for a free, no strings, 90 minute deep dive personalized coaching session to help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you moving toward the future you want. We offer a unique form of Men’s Coaching and we attract smart guys who see through surface level hype and bravado. We hide nothing and hold nothing back. We know that everything you want is behind your fear and skepticism…just like it was for us.
